Worst Films of 2008

Couldn't let the year pass without passing note on a couple of abominations (in no particular order).

Not sure how to include The Happening in this list. I had a strongly mixed reaction to it when I saw it theatrically; the "attack" sequences are supurb and the general story and structure are sound. But the script and direction is oddly limp for Shyamalan. But the real achilles heal are the performances from Zooey Deshenal and Marky Mark Whalberg. He not just shit but earth shatteringly, amature child actor who's never had a lesson in his life bad. It's not a good film at all, but diserving of the crap on this list...update to come

National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets. Bigger and faster than its predecesor...yet just as dull. You used to be able to rely on Bruckheimer for a good script; these days no-chance. Even Cage's Wicker Man remake was better than this!

Max Payne. Not as embarassing as he was in The Happening, Whalberg still coasts in this stillborn videogame adaptation. When you see a collaboration between the director of The Omen remake, Fox Studios and the Whalberg you know youre in trouble. But who could have predicted trouble would be this dull.

AVP-R. Technically a groovy movie. It looks and sounds sweet; mint FX, gorgeous photography and passable action. But an abysmal script and "the worst cast in history" bring this down. I can't remember caring less about an ensemble cast ever. And I could make a living in watching action-horror like this. Truely dire.

Finally. Much has been said about the talentlessness of Dr Uwe Boll, but in 2008 I was determined to watch beyond his first 2 movuies to form a stronger, unbiased opinion of the man's work. Mistake me thinks.

Postal = Officially my worst film of all time until something more wretched comes along.

Not even funny in a bad way and I love laughing at unintentionally funny or crap movies.

Think of all the ways you can fuck up the making of a movie, from the foundation up, and you have Postal.

Top 10 Movies of 2008

Since we've arrived at the final day of the year and the chances of me seeing any more movies has dwindled to none...here my Top Ten of the year.

I rate these as the films that have either had a major intellectual or emotional impact on me. Films that have made me think, laugh, cheer or shiver. Movies that have captured my imagination, made me want to watch them again repeatedly, made me want to spread the word about them to others.

Movies omitted from this list are many. This may be because I haven't seen them yet. Or because my tastes differ from yours. Or because I didn't get that extreme emotional or intellectual thrill out of them the way you did. This list will inevitably change over time as months and years of rewatching them takes their toll on opinions. Finally it should be noted these are movies I have seen this year, even though some may have been available internationally in 2007.

1/ The Dark Knight. I knew it was gonna be good, but this good! Ledger IS oscar worthy. The central action sequence is one of the best of the decade. The script serves both the mind and the soul. A downer of an ending that leaves you on a electro-charged high! Rediculously excellent!

2/ The Mist. Darabont weaves his old fashioned movie making magic on another Stephen KIng story and produces gold. The tension builds unrelentingly until THAT ending. Brave, chilling and masterful. The black and white version is even better.

3/ Son Of Rambow. Funniest film of the year. Nostolgic, moving, feel-good and British.

4/ Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Flawed but genius in parts (specifically the first 40 minutes). I thought I'd be pissed off with this but the mighty hand of rewatchability compells me!

5/ Iron Man. Great super-hero movie elevated by the epic casting of Downey Jnr. You can almost hear the other studios muttering 20 years worth of...why didn't we do that! Fast, fun script with some consise action sequences make this the family blockbuster of the year.

6/ Hellboy 2: The Golden Army. Only Del Toro could make a franchise this barking and still get a studio to finance it. Great actors with great characters = great things. The imaginative plot and effects are just icing on the cake.

7/ WALL-E. Surprisingly hard core science fiction with all the layers of subtext that go with it. But with PIXAR at the helm you get a character focused adventure and a studio picure brave enough to have 40 minutes of dialogue free screen time. Eat shit Dreamworks.

8/ In Bruges. Ahh, Colin Farrell and midgets. Frequent swearing, black humour and a dab of violence. Grand.

9/ Slumdog Millionaire. Put inventiveness and capraesque into the blender that is Danny Boyles extreme talent. Result; feelgood hit of the year.

10/ No Country for Old Men. Like Slumdog, its a film about fate, but from a completely different perspective. Atmospheric, precise, and captivating.

Nearly making the top 10 were Religulous, Cloverfield, Frost/Nixon and Midnight Meat Train.

Special "fun-points2 awarded to Rambo, Speed Racer, Wanted, Doomsday and Quantum of Solace.

Who Wants To Be A Talented Bastard?

In stark contrast to the pristine studio effort that is Frost/Nixon, comes Danny Boyle's low budget Indian shot Slumdog Millionaire.

It shares many of the things that makes Frost/Nixon great. A fantastic adaptation of a true story. Great direction that focuses on character and paces the story exhilaratingly. Wonderful period art direction that evokes a time and place.

Where Slumdog differs is the shear imagination and inventivness on show. The choice of shots, location, camera lens and filters, casting choices; it has a raw kinetic energy that is genuinely unique.

Like Trainspotting, Boyle is able to mix shocking bleakness with roar out load belly laugh humour and still make it a coherant whole.

But the genius here is the movies unrelenting feel-good factor. Its Boyle, so you know it isn't going to feel forced. But the wave of Capraesque goodwill it generates really does have you cheering at the screen come the conclusion. Better than Trainspotting you ask? Probably not...but 100 times more watchable.

"You want the truth? You can't handle the truth!!"

I saw 2 films yesterday; both circling critics in a bid to pick up acclaim in the end-of-year awards frenzy. They are very different approaches to film-making and the 'other' movie, Slumdog Millionaire, I will comment upon separately.

Frost/Nixon is the good old dependable studio awards movie. Directed with a solid, old fashioned hand by Ron Howard, adapted by the playwrite from his own play, and staring two heavyweights of modern thesping; Langella and Sheen.

And dependable it has every right to be 'cause its bloody good. Feeling more like a boxing movie than one about an interview, its obvious from the start that TV star David Frost has seriously underestimated his opponent, disgraced President Richard Nixon. Much like a Rocky movie, we know who is gonna win...history has alreay recorded the result. The question is... how is a credibility crumbling near has-been TV presenter going to better the force-of-nature of a man that is Nixon?

Riviting!

Sly. You're The Greatest. Now F#*k off!

Twas announced yesterday that a movie version of "The Greatest Comicbook Character of All Time" is to commence production in 2009.

This is something of a miracle for 2 reasons; the strip is not widely known in the States. Plus the 1995 movie starring Stallone was a magnificent fuck up. Entertaining , yes. Great to look at, of course. But not Dredd by any stretch.

So here's hoping for something that captures the black satire of the comics. And one that respects the character of Dredd. That is, he doesn't hammily posture like a pantomime c*#t. He doesn't take his symbolic/iconic helmet off. But most importantly...he doesn't call any perpetrator "Scumbag".

The All-New Adventures of GORT.

Many were dreading this Fox Studio produced remake of the 50's sci-fi classic of The Day The Earth Stood Still. It was never going to come close to equaling that great picture, but it does a solid job of providing a fast paced, entertaining thriller.

It follows the same basic structure of the original, including key scenes with robot bodyguard GORT ans well as the blackboard scene with a nobel prize winning scientist (this time played by a very good John Cleese).

It differs in 2 ways. First, alien Klatu is much less human in character, providing a much easier individual for the thespially challenged Reeves to play. From a thriller stand-point it aids the film greatly, as you're never quite sure what intergalactic weirdo Keanu is going to do, which creates a decent amount of dramatic tension.

The other is the reason for Keanu's visit to Earth. No longer concerned of Humanity's nuclear threat; instead he seeks to protect the Earth's enviromental fragility from us pesky humans.
While it's a good idea, its not really incorporated into the structure of the movie as it was in the original. When the army attacked Klatuu and his spaceship in the 50's, it only reinforced the violent nature of humanity. When the army does the same thing this time, it does nothing to reinforce the different subtext.

So...like highboard diving into a 1 foot deep pool. Great fun to look at, but don't go diving 'cause there's nothing there.

BEST OF 2008: THE MUSIC

Best Album: Death Magnetic - Metallica

Best Soundtrack: The Dark Knight - Hans Zimmer & James Newton Howard

Best Songs : The Day That Never Comes - Metallica

The Glory Of Love - Primal Scream

Morcheeba - Enjoy The Ride

BT - Iron Fisted Mutha