Freddy Visits The Looney Bin

A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors marks the high point of the franchise. For many people the first Wes Craven movie will remain king thanks to it's originality, iconic shock moments and the fact the evil dream antagonist, Freddy Kruger, is still scary. And that's all fine and dandy as Elm Street number one is a damn good horror movie.

A great sequel has to balance two basic elements; retain enough of what made the original successful and introduce enough new elements so that an audience won't get bored. If the film-makers are unimaginative then they'll tell the exact same story and simply change the setting or the characters. If the sequel makers have a bigger budget to play with, they'll simply expand the scale (instead of six gruesome teen deaths, there will now be 20 or instead of setting it in a small town, an entire city is now at stake).

Elm Street 3 balances the basic elements perfectly building onto the existing Elm Street mythology in a fascinating way, while giving us a likable young cast (rare in a teen horror movie) to root for. It expands the mythos in several ways; Freddy Kruger gets an origin (The Bastard Son of a Hundred Maniacs) and a Nun Mommy. It's now set in a psychiatric hospital allowing fantasy and the supernatural to butt heads as it did, so many years earlier, in The Exorcist. And we get to explore the parameters of how the dream scape works....hypnotism and comas work just as well as sleeping, drugs exist to repress dreams, psychics have the ability to pull others into their dreams and dreamers have the power to manipulate their own abilities in the dreamland (you can be a wizard, if you so wish...nifty).

Then, after the complete absence of original movie characters in the first sequel, the second sequel re-introduces Nancy Thompson and her Dad. Doing this has pros and cons. The positive effect is that it raises the stakes of the story as Nancy has beaten Kruger once and, now trained as a dream specialist, is prepared to do battle armed with her medical knowledge and experience. The downside, of course, is that Nancy is once again played my Heather Langenkamp...an actress more wooden than a Giant Redwood forest and more stiff than a horny adolescent in a Beauty Pageant's changing room. Saxon, might not be wooden, but he sure is one of the corniest actors to have worked in the movie industry. Fortunately, the positives outweigh the negatives.

Finally there's much more inventiveness and imagination on show here than in other installments. The set pieces are wildly different, and each gleeful teen death comes with some great one-liner witticisms from Mr Kruger. Yep, he's now comedy killer horror icon but THIS is why Robert England will forever be remember in the role of Freddy. Kruger using his helpless, sleepwalking victim is a particular favorite moment of mine. But there are so many, whether it's the Ray Harryhausen skeleton homage or Freddy in a tux proclaiming "I said, where's the fucking bourbon?" before decapitating a mother.

Like Cameron did with Aliens, director Chuck Russell decided not to make an all out horror film and introduced a different genre instead. In this case fantasy. And, by 'eck, it works!

Freddy Hires A Smoke Machine

There are a few, select films I have a like/hate relationship with. It's the Licence To Kill factor. Like that film, I can watch certain movies and, on occasion, absolutely detest them for being boring, dated, incoherent or ill-conceived....or, on other occasions, rather like the flawed film for what it is. A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master is one such movie. Once upon a time it was my favorite of the Elm Street franchise. Then a few years ago I rediscovered it on cable TV and checked it out. I found if cheesy, dated (it's all bright blues and reds with all the smoke machines that Hollywood can provide working overtime...not to mention the baggy, 90's fashions) and pretty run-of-the-mill compared with Elm Street 3. The cute Patricia Arquette had been recast into someone much plainer, the rest of the cast more traditional, irritating teens, the re-introduced high school setting seemed like a step backward and the set pieces less creative than the last franchise entry.

Then, as part of my Elm Street retrospective, I checked it out again. And you know what...it's alright. All of the criticisms still stand, but it has certain strengths that's hard to ignore. Like Elm Street 3, it brings back the survivors from the previous movie providing a strong sense of continuity and hope...with our heroes back, Freddy is surely bound to fail. Of course when they're slaughtered within the first 30 minutes, it adds to the tension regarding the new, out-of-their-depth protagonists. Renny Harlin, who would go on to direct Die Hard 2 and Cliffhanger, brings a fresh, cinematic feel to proceedings with clever use of the camera, stylish lighting and a hip, contemporary (for the time...utterly dated now) soundtrack, which gives the film it's own identity.

The strongest reason for it's success is that of Lisa Wilcox's Alice, who has the strongest character arc in any of the Elm Street movies. Her journey from introverted daydreamer to empowered demon fighter gives the film a mythic, coming-of-agr feel as well as providing some literary depth (the Alice in Wonderland connection) as Alice can harness her daydreaming, overactive imagination for her own benefit.

No longer a great film then, but still worth a watch...even more so when watched in the continuity and context of the other Elm Street films.

Remo - Unarmed & Dangerous: Rare & Under Appreciated #3

Fred Ward should have been a big movie star. The man is cool, bringing a tough, gruff charm to his roles coupled with a self depreciating streak. Just look at the genuis of partnering him with Kevin Bacon in Tremors...pure cinematic joy joy. Still, like other offbeat leading men that never cracked the big time (Jeff Fahey, Robert Forster, Bill Sadler) he's still working hard today, last seen in last years heist thriller Armored.

The film that should have catapulted him into stardom is the little seen Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins. Titled 'Remo: Unarmed & Dangerous' in the UK on it's original 1986 release, it was meant to be the start of a long running film franchise, based on the popular Destroyer novels by Warren Murphy and Richard Sapir.
However, it only made a pitiful $14 million in the U.S. meaning that audiences didn't find the film appealing, and dashing the hopes of a film series.

One can see, to a degree, why the film didn't take off. Directed by Goldfinger's Guy Hamilton, the movie has a distinctly, old fashioned, visually flat, 1970's vibe, especially compared with the hi-tech TV (Airwolf / Knight Rider) and Spielberg influenced cinema that dominated during the mid-80's (Back To The Future / Top Gun).
Story wise, it's essentially an origin tale that plays like the pilot for a new television adventure show. We're gradually introduced to the small team that will be fighting criminals 'above the law' before the main plot of a corrupt arms manufacturer gain momentum. It also has a small scale feel, consist ant with a TV show, for much of the run time. Having Star Trek Voyager Captain, Kate Mulgrew, as the female lead doesn't help as she's just as sexless and irritating here as she was in her sci-fi years.

There's several elements that raise this above much of the competition. On three occasions, the director is allowed to let rip with same huge, cinema scale action sequences including a brilliantly unique chase sequence up and around the Statue Of Liberty (when it was enclosed in scaffolding for maintenance). Then there's Craig Safan's Remo Theme which is every bit as memorable as Bond or Superman...lifting the excitement further.

But the reason this whole movie works is the constant bickering between teacher and student. Fred Ward's rugged charisma pitted against Joel Grey's noble but quirky Korean martial arts master, Chiun. If they partnered Eastwood with Yoda you'd be someway to understanding the dynamic between the two. But the script rises to the occasion and delivers some witty exchanges between the two.

Remo: You know, Chiun, there are times when I really like you.
Chiun: Of course! I am Chiun!
Remo: And there are times when I could really kill you.
Chiun: GOOD! We will practice that after dinner!

A TV pilot it might seem on occasion, but that makes it all the more tragic it was never picked up for a series. With banter like thism, I would have tuned in every week.

The Adventures Of Ford Fairlane: Rare & Under Appreciated #2

Wedged between the hit sequels that were A Nightmare On Elm Street 4 and Die Hard 2, Renny Harlin directed the little seen, comedy thriller The Adventures Of Ford Fairlane. Little seen because it's odd. Odd, odd, odd.

It's defining feature is of it's lead, Andrew Dice Clay, for whom this was meant to be a star making vehicle. Clay, a dickish, unrelentingly sexist, foul mouthed stand up, was established in the U.S. at the time (late 1980's) for his controversial live monologues. Fortunately, Harlin and Clay play the character of Ford Fairlane...Rock and Roll Detective, in such away, that he comes across as heroic and likable...but only just. The guy is a complete cock, forever taking advantage of his under appreciated assistant, the sexy Lauren Holly, but retains enough charm to take the audience with him on his latest case.

The rest of the film is a crazy blending of elements...some that work, and others that don't. Some of these elements are:-

1/ Oliver Wood's, glossy early 90's cinematography...all lit with primary coloured filters and the obligatory (for the time period) smoke machine.

2/ The soundtrack, mainly consisting of late 80's Milli Vanilli-esque pop/funk is shite. Better are the inclusions of Motley Crue and Tone Loc. The stand out track goes to Clay himself who perform a classic rock 'n' roll number as a demonstration of how it should be done (see video below).

3/ The wild cast is a combination of music stars (Morris Day, Sheila E, Vince Neil) and a who's who of weirdos (Ed O'Neil, Gilbert Gotffried, Pricilla Presley, Wayne Newton, Robert England, Kari Wuher and David Patrick Kelly).

4/ The ridiculously barmy script layers one investigation over the other, mixing them into such a complicated colourful concoction, you forget to follow the separate story strands, and just sit back and let the madness entertain you. The plots neatly converge at the end while the characters, from Robert England's leather wearing maniac to Ed O'Neil's disco obsessed cop all having their stories tied up neatly.

5/ There's tones of surreal elements like Fairlane talking to camera, Deadpool style, and the fact the detective never gets paid by cash (but instead with gifts, including a cute running gag with a Koala Bear). Oh, and Ford calls his dick Stanley...after the power drill.

Like Hudson Hawk, which Joel Silver also produced just one year later, Ford Fairlane was trying to do something a little bit different. It's very much a product of it's time and, as such, has dated horribly. But I can guarantee, you'll not want to take your eyes off it, in case you miss some unexpected lunacy.

Krull: Rare & Under Appreciated #1

Is there anybody out there that likes Krull? Unlike The Last Starfighter, Tron or The Black Hole (which all have cult followings AND remakes in the works), Krull is the forgotten and neglected fantasy film from 1983 that remains shunned and unloved.

I love it though! It's shamelessly a Star Wars rip off (a young man and wise man team up with comedy relief, a giant and some rogues to rescue the princess and save the galaxy). Although it wears the clothes of a fantasy movie, it really wants to be a space opera...the bad guy's fortress is a spaceship and his minions fire laser beams. Columbia Pictures clearly threw a ton of money at it, and it looks fantastic (although Brit helmer David Yate's direction is distantly unremarkable and lacking in urgency). The epic eastern European locations, Peter Suschitzky's (he of Empire) lush photography and Stephen B. Grime's clean cut, unfussy production design all help to make this a quality production.

With the exception of the film's impetuous (but solid) lead, Ken Marshall, the casting is superb with Freddie Jones, Francesca Annis and John Welch as the wisdom providers and Alun Armstrong, Liam Neeson, Todd Carty and Robbie Coltrane, all excellent and individually distinctive, as the motley crew of escaped criminals that aid the young King on his quest. However, originating in Krull is the phrase "Bernard Bresslaw Factor", thanks to that actors wooden performance as Rell, the Cyclops. It relates to any British actor who is completely out of his depth acting in an American produced blockbuster. Worth a special mention is the design of the Beast's evil foot soldiers, The Slayers. Both alien and supernatural looking at the same time, they help provide a unique look and threat throughout the movie.

Finally, there are two things of rare, outstanding natural beauty in Krull. The first, is that of female lead, Lysette Anthony, who is mind slaughteringly adorable as Princess Lyssa. An English model, known as 'The Face of the Eighties' due to her fashion defining features, Anthony illuminates every shot she's in, despite being far too girlie to comprehend.

The other is that of James Horner's score. Horner was still at the beginning of his career at this time, before lack of imagination and the relentless rehashing of his own work became the norm. This, along with his Star Trek and Battle Beyond The Stars scores, represented Horner at his career defining best. Krull's score is a triumphant masterpiece; romantic, majestic and sweeping in a way that 99.9% of contemporary composers can only dream of (only Michael Giachinno comes close these days).

So while Krull is a little old fashioned and more than a little cliched, it's got great actors playing cool characters, tons of quality, Derek Meddings effects, all wrapped up in an action packed bundle with posh British totty and a grand orchestral blanket. Still pretty damn good.

June Pick 'n' Mix - Plinkett's Back!

Below is the latest review from the infamous Harry S Plinkett. This time it's Baby's Day Out that gets Harry's wrath...



Here's is a mint, animated homage that is the madness of Nicholas Cage...



Then there's this inspired animated retelling of A NEw Hope that makes me want to watch the original, every time I see it...



Here's one of my favorite moments from the brilliant 30 Rock featuring a classic Will Ferrell cameo...



The latest internet phenomenon that's sweeping the globe is that of SAD Keanu...more of which can be found here.

Living On The Edge With Du Fuhrer

Edge Of Darkness is Mel Gibson's first starring role since 2003's Signs. And while he's gone on to great artistic success (as director of Passion Of The Christ) and great personal lows (as the Jew hating Sugartits) it's fantastic to have Mad Mel back in front of the camera. Edge is a remake of the 1985 BBC mini-series of the same name...and also directed by the same person in Martin Campbell. And a good match of director, story and star it is too.

It's a simple tale of vengeance wrapped up in a conspiracy thriller plot. When Gibson's daughter is shot on his doorstep, Mel leaps into a relentless pursuit of the truth, leading him into areas outside of his juristiction as well as crossing paths with shady spooks like Ray Wise. Nobody channels bottled rage like Gibson and it's his intense, internal fire which fuels the story. As a consequence, the very stagy, talky thriller always has a degree of unpredictability as we root for Mel to track down those responsible and deliver terrible, bloody justice. And thankfully, it being an R rated adult thriller, that journey to do so is done with stylish moments of brief, explosive violence.

Not the most action packed thriller you'll see...especially as the trend is for gunfights and car chases ever 8.5 minutes these days, but with Mighty Mel leading the way, you'll never want to reach for the pause button. Welcome back, Du Fuhrer!

The Amnesiac's Ex-Wrestling Handbook

Alongside John Cena, another wrestler trying to make it in the big, wide world of movies is Stone Cold Steve Austin. He made a great impression in 2007's The Condemned and we're soon to see him lock horns with Stallone and Statham in The Expendables. First up is low budget action thriller, The Stranger, which follows the attempts of a psychiatrist (the insanely hot Erica Cerra from A Town Called Eureka)who is trying to track down an escaped amnesiac. We learn that every time he learns his identity that his brain then wipes him memory clean to protect him from some by-gone trauma. Austin and Cerra team up, mysteries are unravelled, double crossings ensue. Oh and Stone Cold beats a lot of people up.

The movie takes itself too seriously, the action is strictly small-scale, the whole thing looks bland and the central mystery just isn't that interesting. But Austin's a step above the competition like Cena and Hulk Hogan. And that's a good place to build an action career from.

Dial Your Kruger Gaydar Up To Eleven

In comparison to Wes Craven's groundbreaking original, A Nightmare On Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge is pretty uninspired stuff. The characters, and the actors playing them, are bland. Freddy's nasty, perhaps the meanest he'll get to be until Craven himself returned to the franchise, but his presence isn't as keenly felt in this first sequel. Worst of all the dreamscape moments and death scenes are weak, unimaginative and utterly tame in the context of the rest of the franchise. In one sequence a hard nosed gym coach is assaulted by an assortment of sports balls. Boo hoo hoo!

On the plus side, the central concept is different enough to make this follow up worth while; instead of trying to kill the kids of Elm Street in their dreams, Freddy attempts to demonically possess a hapless teen so he can go on a killing spree, while the lad is sleepwalking. The other thing of note is the strong gay subtext that's interwoven throughout the script. The studio, the director and his cast were apparently unaware of the meaning written into this franchise entry, but when alerted to its inclusion, the the theme of homosexuality is hard to ignore. It's about a 'confused' teen who's torn between his female friend and his buff, best pal. Oh, and it has dialogue like, "Fred Krueger! He's inside me, and he wants to take me again!". Nuf said.

Not a bad film, and not a significant entry into the Nightmare film series. But a curious addition indeed.

"Even Rocky Had A Montage..."

When watching Rocky IV, it's hard to believe that the original 1976 movie was a multiple Oscar winner and highly respected sports drama. Come 1985 and all that has dissipated. With the stepping stone of Rocky III, which carefully balanced the commercial, audience pleasing, pantomime-esque fluff with the more serious character drama, writer/director Sly Stallone has crossed over into the world of unabashedly manipulative, crowd-pleasing bullshit.

Cue Dolph Lundgren as an unbeatable, boxing, killing machine (poor Carl Weathers). Then Sly made Dolph's character a Ruskie (the ultimate evil in the Cold War mid-80's). And because a movie synopsis is rarely more perfectly simple than this, a darnfangled script was discarded in favor of a few brief dramatc scenes and a shit load of montages to display the passage of time. Rocky IV has FIVE of them!!! Now, they've always had at least two in this franchise (the training sequence and the 15 round fight sequence) but you can add a running sequence (instead of the steps of Philadelphia City Hall, Rocky runs up a bloody mountain) a flashback montage and even a James Brown, pre-fight montage!

But it works. It's rousing. It's exhilarating. And it's gripping. It works on the same level as dumb Jerry Bruckheimer movies when they're working well, like Top Gun or Armageddon. Your brain knows you're being manipulated and to cheer the good guys, but in your heart, you plainly don't give a monkeys. It's a shame Stallone didn't direct for another 20 years after this as he knows what he's doing.

The Baghdad Bourne Supremacy

Take the director and the star of the last two, excellent, Jason Bourne movies...and then reunite them for a Baghdad set, action thriller and you'll have a particular picture of the type of movie you're going to get. And with that collaboration, Green Zone, you'd be absolutely correct.

Like The Bourne Supremacy and Ultimatum, Green Zone is a thriller that starts off in top gear and then never lets up. It's relentless. And when Damon isn't chasing round dusty street corners in pursuit of intelligence leads, he's locked in tense stand offs with local bureaucrats or engaged in taut unauthorised missions of subterfuge.
Thats a pretty successful base on which to build any movie, but build it does. The search for Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD's), the White House's reluctance to release it's Iraq intelligence sources and the disbandment of the Iraq military form the icing on the cake to an already riveting thriller. Damon is excellent , as always, building his character while on the move (just like the Bourne movies).

The production is impressive with the recreation of a recently occupied Iraq looking as realistic as the news reports. I found this more rewarding than The Hurt Locker, but I still find Blackhawk Down and The Kingdom to be superior. But not by a lot.

I've Got A Brain Dead Wrestler & I'm Not Afraid To Use It!

The bullshit action movie is a genre unto itself. Like the gangster movie or the western, there's a certain set of expectation a genre film must deliver on to be a part of the gang. And WWE production The Marine delivers in spades. It has a basic 'bad guys took my wife and now they're gonna pay' plot. It has lots of huge, practical, slow-motion explosions every 20 minutes that are filmed over and over and over again from multiple angles. It has the hero stroll away from flames, drive through explosions and dive (twice!) out of an exploding building. Can you smell it?

But that's not all. Star, ex wrestler John Cena, is borderline wooden, with screen presence making up for lack of charisma. But in true genre fashion, Cena gets all the classic lines, that only exist in the minds of unsophisticated American screenwriters. And to balance the straight faced cliches, Robert Patrick and chums amusingly bicker, squabble and terrorise their way across the US. east coat wetlands.
The characters are enjoyable, the action ridiculous and the girls cute. For a low brow film this is great fun and far, far better than Cena's follow up movie, Renny Harlin's 12 Rounds.

Date Night Date Raped Me!

Oh, Steve Carrell, what a funny man you are. Your Anchorman performance is the stuff of legend. And Tina Fey, how your downtrodden loser routine has made me laugh while falling for your dorky, middle-aged awkwardness. But how you have fallen in to shit creek with your new movie Date Night, which has been brought to us by the "Shit Creek Canoe Company" aka, Twentieth Century Fox.

This is supposed to be make or break year for Fox's reputation as a studio. The company, as a supplier of quality entertainment, is a joke. An industry wide, Internet acknowledged joke. So in 2010, there were signs that Fox were starting to listen to their critic by hiring better actors, better writers and better directors.
The true test will come in the summer months when Predators, The A-Team and Knight & Day hit, but for now, the signs aren't too promising.

Date Night is an under-written 'comedy' with a dull, generic thriller plot imposed on it. The leads try their damnedest to create giggles (along with Mila Kunis and James Franco in wacky cameos), but it mainly fall flat due to the heavy handedness of Pink Panther director, Shawn Levy. Ladies and gentlemen...you have been full force Fox fucked. Be warned.

The Fantastic Secret Service Mr Fox

Vantage Point is a Rasomon style thriller which looks at a Presidential assassination attempt from the differing perspectives of those involved. There's aging but reliable Secret Service protector Dennis Quaid, News Producer Sigorney Weaver, tourist Forrest Whitaker, Edgar Ramirez's Spanish Cop, newbie Agent Matthew Fox and the President himself William Hurt. After an hour of seeing the same incident again and again from the differing points of view we begin to build up a picture of what's really going on. It then drops the gimmick for the remainder of the movie to follow a conventional catch-the-bad-guy thriller plot.

It's a solid, well acted piece that just about stays on the right side of engaging. But, even though we learn an extra dimension to the plot and characters every time the film resets itself to midday, there is the temptation to stop watching. And, that just not compelling enough really. A good effort, and it's great to see a good, old fashioned adult thriller trying to break format and do something a bit different. But a more gripping script is needed next time.

Two extra things. It's cool to see Zoe Saldana in an early role, before she became a break out star. And at one point (SPOILER ALERT) William Hurt's President gets replaced by a body double for an important speach. For a thriller which is realistically grounded throughout...this plot device sticks out like a sore, piss-covered thumb.

Robin Hood - Prince Of Mullets

There are three reasons why I watched Robin Hood - Prince of Thieves again recently. It was on television anyway. I hadn't seen it for an eternity. And my lasting impression is that it's ten times more entertaining than the recent Scott/Crowe collaboration depicting the legendary English hero. And while it's a long way from perfect, Prince of Thieves might very well be twenty times more superior to the 2010 effort.

There's several things that sets it above the new version of Robin Hood:-

1/ Most obviously, it's telling a much better, far more engrossing story. That's because it adheres to the established Robin Hood lore (which is compulsive viewing...there's a reason this same story's been retold countless times) and because it puts all of the character's (both good and bad) at the heart of the tale. Like many Costner movies, it's a story that takes its time in being told...gradually building character, back story and the plot foundations before Robin is forced on the run.

2/ Even if the characters are under-written in what is a straight-forward period adventure yarn, they all spring to vivid life because of the fantastic casting. Before star Kevin Costner took a liking playing morally questionable folk in the mid 90's, he was the go-to guy in Hollywood for the clean cut everyman (The Untouchables, No Way Out, Field Of Dreams). And whatever aspects of a 'petulant teenager becoming wise warrior' he might bring to his Robin, it's that quiet, centred morality he brings to the role that grounds the whole movie. Bring in an actor with less ability, or someone with more a more aggressive attitude, and the story begins to unravel.

His opposite in The Sheriff of Nottingham is infamously performed by the incredible Alan Rickman who bounds around in full-on pantomime mode. This is the stand-out, scene stealing, having-more-fun-than-criminally-allowed acting of the entire film. Everybody else excels too. Christian Slater's angry, mis-trusting Will Scarlett, Nick Brimble's tough, West Country bumpkin Little John, Michael Wincott's snarling Guy Of Gisburne, Geraldine McEwan's scheming, lunatic witch, Michael McShane's booming, drunkard Tuck, Morgan Freeman's noble, intellectual Azeem and finally, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio's fragile but feisty Marion. I've never thought of her as the most attractive actress in the world, but her pitch perfect English accent combined with a studied comic delivery makes her adorable. Even tiny characters like Fanny, Duncan, Wulf and Sarah have moments to shine...just showing how much thought went into the scripting and casting process.

3/ Then there's Michael Kamen's score...absolutely a career-best piece of work. Kamen came to prominence in the late 80's with a string of action scores for Joel Silver, that included Lethal Weapon, The Last Boy Scout, Hudson Hawk and Die Hard. This was his first, full blown, epic composition since Highlander that not only had a valid life separate from the silver screen, but was instrumental in the success of the film. Not having Kamen's score wouldn't have made it a bad movie in any respect...but it's addition lifts the whole enterprise to a completely higher level; raising that sense of high adventure, thrills and grandeur. It's still one of the most accomplished score of the 1990's along with John William's Jurassic Park score and the early works of Hans Zimmer.

Still, despite all the great stuff, there's a surprising amount that doesn't come off as well as it should.

1/ Costner's mullet. WTF!?!

2/ Costner and Slater's accents. While Mastrantonio is 100% convincing as a Brit, Kev and Slates barely make an effort. But their characters are so distinctive and the story has so much momentum...you just about forgive them.

3/ It looks cheap. The forest scenes are flawless, whether it's the impressive tree house sets, the magnificent waterfall locations, or the beautiful shafts of light that pierce the woodland canopy. But the sets, from the Nottingham marketplace to the Jerusalem courtyard, all look like plywood with a lick of paint. A studio set basically. The bland photography doesn't help to sell the realism during interior scenes and the exterior shots rarely come to life unless the sun is out to lend a hand to the film crew. It means the whole enterprise frequently has a thrifty sheen instead of the multi-million dollar gloss that you'd expect from a major blockbuster.

4/ Perhaps the greatest hindrance to the film's potential for greatness is the uneven tone which director Kevin Reynolds gives the film. Much of the acting is played over-the-top, most noticeably Rickman...which is in sharp contrast (sometimes jarringly so) to Costner's restrained heroics. In fact the thespians are split firmly into two camps as to which acting style they use, with Freeman, Mastrantonio and Slater joining Costner, while Brimble, McEwan and McShane join Rickman...with Wincott treading the narrow line in between. In the first Pirates movie, Depp is the only one chewing the scenery in an OTT manner....and so the whole weight of seriousness occupying the rest of the movie neatly balances him out. But with Prince of Thieves, that balance isn't quite there. It sometimes feels like a Gilliam movie or maybe a little Pythoneque...which is fine...until you get to the next scene of Robin wrestling with thoughts of revenge and rebellion. It doesn't quite mix. However, it's down to the dynamic and compelling telling of the story that these different styles can exist in the same movie...and still make it a fun roller coaster ride.

4/ Oh, and the Bryan Adams song is shite.

The film is way too much fun for it's flaws to overwhelm it. The action is ten times more imaginative than Ridley Scott's effort and far better shot with Kevin Reynolds constantly tracking, panning, spinning, zooming and dollying camerawork. This is the type of film Prince Of Persia wanted to be but Bruckheimer never had the balls to get a cast and crew as talented as this to make it. Just 'cause a film isn't perfect doesn't mean it's not good. And Prince Of Thieves is very, very good.

The Great St Trinians Photocopy Massacre

The first St Trinians movie (the 2007 remake, not the original 50's and 60's affairs) was a bit of a let down. For a movie built upon rebellious, anti-authoritarian characters...it's rule breaking antics all seamed a bit tame. And for a movie that was basically a comedy at heart, it was all a bit laughter -free. Considering it made little impact at the box office in addition to it's artistic failings, it's amazing that a sequel was ever deliberated...let alone produced.

Well, the follow up, St Trinians - The Legend Of Fritton's Gold is no better than the first. It fact, it's practically a photocopy of the first movie...with a few alterations of course. Russell Brand, Stephen Fry and Lena Heady are out. In come David Tennant, Girls Aloud's Sarah Harding and Ashes To Ashes Montserat Lombard. It's still not funny, the Mission Impossible capers are daft, and the only thing still going for it are the girls. And before the word 'perv' gets bandied around, I should point out that all the principle girlie cast members are all in their twenties (Arterton=23, Egerton & Temple=21, Riley=24, Lombard=27, Harding=28). So in terms of this weak effort having very little to offer it's audience, at least the lads and the lesbos can perv away.

I Think Therefore I'm Sam

Ever since 9/11, and the Bush administration's questionable over-reaction to that tragic event, fictional media has been examining morality when it comes to terrorism. From The Dark Knight to Watchmen to 24, the question that is constantly being raised is, "How immoral can a Government or a Lawman be, in order to protect the greater good?".

That question is again asked in Unthinkable, which takes a scenario right out of 24, and distills it down to a basic, three character, single location screenplay. The U.S Government receive a terrorist video claiming that three nuclear bombs will be detonated in separate major American cities by the end of the week, unless his demands are met. The U.S. born terrorist, Michael Sheen, is caught, and brought to a secret location for interrogation. The head of the F.B.I.'s Counter Terrorist Unit, Carrie Anne Moss, is brought in to locate the nukes, while mysterious torturer-for-hire, Samuel L Jackson, is drafted to forcefully extract the information from the extremist.

This is small scale stuff, that's perhaps best suited for TV, as it's essentially a stage play put to film. The direction is unremarkable, but it's obviously a powerful, topical script that's managed to draw, not only the three leads, but cool character actors like Stephen Root, Gil Bellows, Brandon Routh and Holmes Osbourne. And it's a good, tense yarn with a simple, ticking-bomb premise; will Sam get Michael to spill the beans before the bombs go off? And what are the Law Officers, Army, Politicians and Torturer prepared to do, in order to save the day (and they're willing to push it to the limits, that's for sure)?

An intriguing story with great performances that's a little too uncinematic to be classed as a great film...but still very worthy. And the sad thing is, this discussion obviously takes place, in Governments, around the world all the time.