Best Films of 2012

 

 

Here again I present my favourite films of the year. As usual it's important to remember that this isn't the BEST films of the year, rather the movies that I've found the most entertaining; not necessarily the best crafted, most awards worthy, or most powerful dramatically, as a professional film critic might see them. Personally I'm looking for a re-watchablity factor in all these films (do I want to purchase it on Bluray for future multiple viewings?) There's a longevity factor to consider as well; I might love the film now but will I still love it in a year from now, or ten years time? Finally there's that highly subjective personal factor that means a film might have a look, or theme, or a story, or characters that talk to my tastes as an individual, more than it might to others who have viewed these films.

25/  Battleship
I have debated for the whole year whether the pure big-budget bullshit of the U.S. Navy verses Aliens was worthy of inclusion in this prestigious top twenty five ranking. And then I remembered just how ridiculously fun it is. A Transformers or Pirates sequel this most definitely is not. There’s a funny script, an urgent, fast paced story and it’s a ton of fun; that’s something Dark Of The Moon doesn’t have.

24/ The Tall Man
Pascal Laugier’s follow up to to Martyrs showed that the director had an agenda when it came to thought provoking, intelligent cinema as well as conceiving plots which constantly shift and turn direction beneath an audiences feet. Atmospheric and smart with a great central performance from Jessica Biel.

23/ Snow White & The Huntsman
Although the story was somewhat derivative, the execution of this fairytale was superb. Rupert Saunder’s direction was confident, his vision was realistic, gritty and foreboding and his cast excellent. But it’s Charlize Theron’s terrifying Evil Queen which pushes this into the excellent category.

22/ The Artist
A brilliant tribute to silent cinema that combines a stong story with great performances and inventive direction.

21/ Life Of Pi
Ang Lee takes this ‘impossible to adapt’ story of a boy’s struggle to survive a shipwreck with only a dangerous Bengal Tiger to keep him company and makes it look easy. A beautiful tale of the power of faith, stories and imagination.

20/ Chronicle
The inevitable found footage reworking of the superhero myth is surprisingly excellent thanks to a sphincter tight script and excellent casting.



19/ The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
David Fincher returns to familiar, serial killer territory with a slick, stylish and hard-hitting adaptation of the Swedish bestseller. Rooney Mara makes for a great Lisbeth.



18/ Cloud Atlas
The Wachowski Siblings team up with Tom Twyker to direct a the hour epic spanning 6 stories over many centuries, continents and characters. Exploring the inter-connectedness of humanity it’s deep, riveting and one of the most ambitious film of the year.



17/ Detention
Joseph Khan’s devisive apocalyptic fantasy, horror, science fiction, action- thriller, body swapping, time-traveling teen romantic comedy was undoubtedly one of the years most inventive and original movies directed with considerable flair and containing big laughs.



16/ Beasts Of The Southern Wild
A haunting coming of age tale set in the Louisiana swamplands as climate change causes the sea waters to rise. A life affirming story about finding one’s place in the universe with a gorgeous score and photography.



15/ Ted
Seth MacFarlane does the impossible in his feature directing debut and makes Mark Wahlberg funny in his shit your pants funny story of a child’s teddy bear that’s come to life.



14/ Brave
Pixar hit the bullseye once again with their moving, funny and exciting medieval fantasy which plays with the Pixar template of unconventional buddy movies. Beautifully made too.



13/ We Bought A Zoo
Matt Damon buys a zoo in Cameron Crowes sentimental dramady. While it's sentimentalily might be off-putting to some, you only have to look at E.T., Field Of Dreams and Jerry Maguire to know that this is the right kind of sentimentality.



12/ The Raid
Not the greatest action movie ever, but the greatest action, in a movie, at least since The Matrix, and maybe even since Hard Boiled. A tight script plus clean but brutal combat sequences take the breath away.



11/ The Grey
Joe Carnahan’s arty Alaskan survival tale with a standout performance from Liam Neeson. The wolf-centric, stalk and slash story is solid but it’s the spiritual subtext and superlative ending where the movie excels.

 

10/ Argo
Ben Affleck’s 1970’s, Iranian set thriller deftly balance a tense espionage story with a bonkers comedy caper. An eclectic cast compliment the bizarre story while Affleck makes it look easy.



9/ John Carter
Disney’s massive box office bomb was an under-rated masterpiece of escapist cinema. Although lacking originality due to the source material and directed in an unapologetically old fashioned way, John Carter is fun, romantic and exciting with great characters, stunning effects and makes you nostalgic for the golden age of 30’s science fiction serials like Flash Gordon.



8/ The Hunger Games
Not the tweeny Twilight rip-off one expected but a magnificently mature science fiction thriller. Director Gary Ross cleverly chooses an ultra-real tone which adds to the dramatic tension and adds integrity to the layers of socially relevant subtext. Oh and the incredible Jennifer Lawrence in the lead cements her as an A-list talent that’s here to stay.



7/ Looper
Rian Johnson’s smart, futuristic, action thriller is a expert lesson in world building, character building and style. Joseph Gorden-Levitt, Emily Blunt and a better than usual Bruce Willis star in this imaginative, exciting, moving and thought provoking slice of premiere science fiction.



6/ Prometheus
Although hampered by a script full of dumb characters and plot holes, Ridley Scott’s Prometheus remains endlessly rewatchable (hence its controversial placing in this list). Immaculately designed with an ambitious, multi-layered script and directed, acted and executed within an inch of it’s life, the film is a welcome return to unashamedly hard, sci-fi thrillers of the past.



5/ Dredd
Although stuck with a plot identical to The Raid, a reputation tarnished by the 1995 Stallone adaptation and a budget a fraction of that movie, Dredd was a joy from start to finish. It treated the character and concept with respect (Karl Urban is excellent), it’s produced with an indie vide from it’s unique photography to its electro-synth score while embracing its ultra-violent, exploitation roots.

 

4/ Skyfall
The best scripted Bond movie ever was directed with elegance by Oscar winner Sam Mendes. Layered with subtext (the first for the Bond series) with the focus smarty on its trio of central characters, brilliantly played by Daniel Craig, Judi Dench and Javier Bardem, it’s a class of movie this franchise has never seen before.

 

3/ Cabin In The Woods
The best script of 2013 is to horror movies what The Matrix is to science fiction. Working on a variety of different levels the film deconstructs and celebrates the horror genre while offering insight into socialism, storytelling and the movie going experience itself. Plus its constantly amusing, extremely fun, has a ton of gore and comes from the twisted brains of Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon.




2/ The Dark Knight Rises
While I still slightly prefer the unpredictability of 2008’s The Dark Knight, the follow up demonstrated a quality of storytelling in cinema that was beyond the reach of his peers. Once again, Christopher & Jonathan Nolan’s script is thematically layered putting the emphasis on Christian Bale’s Bruce Wayne as he and his co-characters struggle with the burden of lying for the common good and the consequences of those lies. Impeccably filmed with a great supporting cast including the imposing Tom Hardy and the conflicted Anne Hathaway there’s not an element of this which feels wrong footed. And for me there’s a dreamlike feel to Christopher Nolan’s work which makes it so cinematically attuned to my own sensibilities, it’s hard not to stare at The Dark Knight Rises in awe.



1/ Marvel’s The Avengers
The movie that finally put the talent of writer/director Joss Whedon on the mainstream map after residing as a cult geek God following his work on TV favourites Firefly and Buffy. Avengers showed the rest of the world what we already knew; an impeccably efficient and imaginative script, a magnificently cast ensemble, a remarkable understanding of mixing dramatic tones, an obvious love of genre material, and some of the wittiest and funniest banter committed to film. While not the most visually cinematic of directors out there, his focus on telling the best possible story in the best possible way makes Avengers an utter classic.




Bubbling under = ParaNorman, Lincoln, REC 3, Flight, The Hobbit Part 1, John Dies At The End, Pitch Perfect, The Descendents, 21 Jump Street, The Amazing Spider-Man, Moonrise Kingdom.

Worst Movies Of 2012

 

10/ Happy Feet 2
Fuck off, happy fucking dancing fucking penguins. The only thing saving this wretched sequel were the sporadic adventures of planktons Matt Damon and Brad Pitt.

9/ Piranha 3DD
An exploitation movie that didn’t have the nuts to be an exploitation movie until the final reel. And wasting Gary Busey’s talent like that? Unforgivable.

8/ Storage 24
Unlikable people trapped in a dull warehouse with a shit monster does not make for a good movie. Only Laura Haddock’s blond, plumy Angelina impression stops this from sinking lower.

7/ The Raven
Criminally dull period murder mystery wasting John Cusack’s time and mine too.

6/ The Darkest Hour
Produced by the guy who directed Wanted, this alien invasion flick should have given us something to marvel at other than the unlikability of its lead characters. Muddled and confused on arrival.

5/ Airborne
It was Gemma Atkinson’s boobs that convinced me to watch this glossy but stupid supernatural hijack thriller. Instead, all I got was fatty Mark Hamill chewing the scenery. Thanks a lot boobies.

4/ Universal Soldier Day Of Reckoning
A sequel so boring I tried to cut my wrists but fell asleep before I could think of a way to achieve it.

3/ Botched
When co-workers enthuse about a liitte heard of, British comedy horror that you must, MUST see…ignore them. They are mistaken and the results will psychologically scar you.

2/ Puss In Boots
An animated spin off from the cunting Shrek movies that is practically inviting you to hate every fucking celluloid frame in its being. If depression could be wanked over an audience, this would be the movie to do it.

1/ Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1
Not since the excruciating New Moon has a Twilight movie been so shite. In the 2 hour run time, nothing fucking happens except an awkward wedding, an awkward house move and abusive, awkward sex. Plus Kristen Stewart’s Bella demonstrates, once and for all, she is THE worst role model that a young girl could ever have. When Bella is continually warned that she’ll die without treatment you’re kind of glad she refuses the help. And then she dies. Hoorah! And then she wakes from the dead. Fuck.

Twilight Cycles from Brandon Routh

Best TV of 2012

10/ Spartacus - Vengeance
Now in it’s third season, Spartacus is still a great period drama that is enormously enhanced by its boundry pushing language, sex and extreme bloody violence. Yey.

9/ Castle
Each season has surpassed the previous one in terms of the memorable, high concept episodes produced. Plus you’ve got ‘World’s Best Actor’ in Nathan Fillion and the divine Stana Katic. What else does a grown man need?

8/ Sherlock
Classy direction, sublime scripting and the perfect casting of Cumberbatch in the lead role. Fuck off Johnny Lee Miller, this is how to do a contemporary Sherlock Holmes series.

7/ Fringe
Great characters, great sci-fi concepts and an urgent, much welcome change of pace for the final season. Fringe; you will be missed.

6/ Family Guy
Still braver and funnier than the other Seth MacFarlane shows out there, Peter Griffin still has the best animated show on the air.

5/ Community
While The Big Bang Theory is prepared to portray geeks as social outcasts, Community thankfully portrays geeks as they truly are. Multi-layered, intelligent, post-modern and meta, with an endearingly loveable cast and a massive volume of in-jokes that makes consistent watching rewarding like no other show can offer. Classic Episode = Modern Warfare

4/ Doctor Who
  Only 6 episodes this year but we had three classic Steven Moffatt episodes, so who’s complaining. Celebrating the complexity of time travel, intricate, emotional stories, all served up like a science fiction fairytale. Classic Episode = Asylum Of The Daleks



3/ Game Of Thrones
  It still awes me that there is a big budget, fantasy series on TV and that it takes itself seriously. But Game Of Thrones proved that season one was no accident and climaxed in one of the most epic episodes of television ever in the amazing Blackwater. Plus it has dragons. And zombies. Oh, and evil vagina demons. Classic Episode = Blackwater



2/ The Newsroom
  Any new series from The West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin was bound to be good, but The Newsroom is stunning. Jeff Daniels makes for one great anti-hero while it being set 2 years ago allows for real life politics and media coverage to be mocked and critiqued. And the shows opening monologue sums up everything wrong with America making it worth the ranking of this series alone.
 Classic Episode = The 112th Congress



1/ The Walking Dead
  The Walking Dead producers seemed to take the criticism that the first half of the last season was a little slow, so for season three they promised a faster pace. That promise is more than fulfilled in one of the most intense half seasons of TV I’ve ever experienced. Unforgivingly brutal with shocks, unpredictable characters, imaginative situations and a willingness to play by no rules. Edge of your sphincter stuff. Classic Episode = Killer Within




Bubbling under = Red Dwarf X, Real Time with Bill Maher, The Daily Show, 30 Rock, Robot Chicken, Being Human, The Thick Of It

PART SIX

 

 

Oops! Nearly forgot this little lot were being released as well…


53/ After Earth

Will Smith & son Jaden team with M Night Shyamalan in this survival tale set on a post apocalyptic Earth, 8,000 years in the future.

54/ GI Joe - Retaliation

The bullshit is back with Channing ‘dead eyes’ Tatum relegated to cameo duty leaving Dwayne Johnson and Bruce Willis to battle the forces of Cobra.

55/ Bullet To The Head

Producer Joel Silver & director Walter Hill re-team for a buddy cop movie starring Sylvester Stallone.

56/ Much Ado About Nothing

 

In 2012 Joss Whedon could do no wrong. In 2013 he adapts the bard into a contemporary, political vision. Plus his regulars Nathon Fillion, Amy Acker, Fran Kranz, Alexis Denisof & Sean Maher
are onboard too.

57/ Upside Down

Romantic fantasy starring Kirsten Dunst and Jim Stugess.

58/ Hansel & Gretel - Witch Hunters

The Brothers Grimm tale goes to big budget exploitation town in this bloody and silly fantasy adventure starring Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner.

59/ Snitch

Action bullshit undercover cop thriller starring Dwayne Johnson and Susan Sarandon.

60/ Parker

Revenge thriller directed by Taylor Hackford and starring Jason ‘The Stath’ Statham and Jennifer Lopez.

61/ Oldboy

 

Remake of the classic Korean thriller directed by Spike Lee and starring Josh Brolin in the lead role.

62/ The Heat

Comedy buddy cop movie from the director of Bridesmaids starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy.

63/ Percy Jackson - Sea Of Monsters

 

More Greek mythology in the sequel to The Lightning Thief this time directed by the guy who brought you Diary Of A Wimpy Kid.

64/ I, Frankenstein

 

 

Aaron Eckhart and Bill Nighy star in this futuristic/fantasy comic book adaptation directed by Stuart Beattie.


On top of that you’ve got Martin Scorcese and Leonardo DiCaprio collaboration The Wolf Of Wall Street, Tom Hanks and Paul Greengrass team up for biopic Captain Phillips, there’s magician comedy with Steve Carell and Jim Carrey in The Incredible Burt Wondersone. Ridley Scott is back with Michael Fassbender in The Counsellor, Michael Bay drops the big budget for Pain and Gain with Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson, Pixar return with the sequel Monsters University, Ben Stiller stars and directs the remake of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and there’s Scary Movie 5 too. Plus Stephen Sommers reigns in the excess with the low budget Odd Thomas, Denzel Washington is pitted against Mark Wahlberg in thriller 2 Guns plus there are sequels to Sinister and Paranormal Activity.

PART ONE

Here's a look at some of the great movies on release next year, one for every week of 2013. Of course, some will end up being a bit shit and a few gems are bound to sneak in under the radar. But it's looking good peeps, it's looking good...

1/ Star Trek Into Darkness

I’m a Star Trek fan. Here is a new Star Trek movie. Of course I’m excited. A sequel to the brilliant 2009 reboot, this has JJ Abrams returning to direct and a sinister Bennedict Cumberbatch on villain duties. The first 10 minutes currently previewing in IMAX theatres is enormous fun suggesting this is the one to beat in 2013.

2/ Man Of Steel

After a Bryan Singer’s 2006 Superman reboot was perceived to be lumbering and old fashioned, the can-do-no-wrong (in my eyes) Zack Snyder comes alone to give Supes a cutting edge kick in the Kryptonite. With Christopher Nolan producing and a fresh take by superhero mystro David Goyer on scripting duties, this might just be Snyders best work to date.

3/ Pacific Rim

Giant fucking monsters and giant fucking robots fucking fighting each other!!! How mint is that!?! While on the surface that might sound like Cloverfield vs. Transformers, this has the assured hand of monster-maestro Guillermo Del Toro behind the lens so expect a mindboggling reinvention of the Godzilla-style monster movie.

4/ The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug

 

While I wasn’t completely blown away with An Unexpected Journey, I’d be a fool for writing Peter Jackson off. With the story and characters set up in Part One, the pace and intensity should pick up for a rollercoaster Part Two. Plus the ace up it’s sleeve; the Dragon itself!

5/ Sin City: A Dame To Kill For

 

It might have taken 8 years for co-directors Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller to get this sequel made but if it’s anything like the stylish, ultra-cool 2005 original, it’ll be worth the wait. Jessica Alba, Micky Rourke, Clive Owen and Rosario Dawson all return while we waited with baited breath to see who will be playing the Dame of the title.

6/ Django Unchained

Tarantino. Nuff said. The film’s been getting rave reviews, it’s ending up in the end of year awards nomination categories, the cast is superb and it’s a genre QT hasn’t played with before. But let’s face it, even if this was a single room tele-play with 2 characters, this would still be a must watch.

7/ Gravity

Children Of Men’s Alfonso Cuaron directs this contemporary science fiction drama of an astronaut (Sandra Bullock) trapped in a Space Station plummeting to earth while George Clooney at mission control tries to help. It’s using cutting edge animation technique to shoot the whole film in just a handful of takes, this might be the sleeper of the year.,

8/ The World's End

 

Reuniting Sion Pegg, Nick Frost and director Edgar Wright in the third of the much anticipated Cornetto Trilogy, it has our heroes embark on an epic pub crawl only for the apocalypse to happen along the way. Following Scott Pilgrim, Wright has proven himself a genius.

9/ Elysium

 

A future set, apocalyptic story from the director of District 9 which stars Matt Damon.

10/ Cloud Atlas

An ambitious epic of interweaving, inter-related stories spanning centuries from directors Tom Twyker and the Wachowski siblings.

PART TWO

 

 

 

11/ Iron Man 3

Robert Downey is back in his signature role guided by superstar writer/director Shane Black of Lethal Weapon, The Last Boy Scout and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang fame.

12/ Oblivion

Another far future, apocalyptic epic, this time from Tron Legacy director Joseph Kosinski and starring Tom Cruise and Morgan Freeman.

13/ Riddick

 

Despite the critical backlash against 2004’s The Chronicles of Riddick, the anti-hero is back in a darker, smaller scale story akin to Pitch Black.

14/ A Good Day To Die Hard

Despite being terribly handicapped by the king of bland, director John Moore, a new Die Hard film is difficult to not get excited about. This one’s set in Moscow with Bruce Willis’ John McClane teaming up with his son.

15/ The Wolverine

 

Hugh Jackman returns to his signature X-Men role in a stand-alone story based on Frank Miller’s graphic novel.

16/ Mad Max: Fury Road

 

Twenty eight years after Beyond Thunderdome, director George Miller returns with a sequel starring Tom Hardy as the recast Max as well as Charlize Theron.

17/ Jack The Giant Slayer

X-Men’s Bryan Singer can’t make a bad film as far as I’m concerned and here he turns his attention to a fairy tale adventure reworking of Jack & The Beanstalk.
18/ World War Z

Brad Pitt stars in something that’s never been done before; a zombie apocalypse EPIC!. A mega-budget means zombies comin’ at ya at a million undead a minute!

19/ Oz - The Great & Powerful

The imaginative Sam Raimi directs this Wizard Of Oz prequel starring Mila Kunis, Michelle Williams and Rachel Weitz as three witches. As long as hero James Franco isn’t shit, this should rock.

20/ Anchorman 2

The comedy sequel we’ve all been waiting for. Will Ferrell and company return as The Channel Four news team.

PART THREE

 

 

21/ The Lone Ranger

Bruckheimer, Verbinski and Johnny Depp reunite for this supernatural tinged western reboot. As long as it’s more Rango than Dead Man’s Chest, we’re onto a winner.

22/ Thor 2

 

Game Of Thrones Alan Taylor sits in the directors chair for Marvel’s sequel which reunited Hemsworth Portman and Hiddleston.

23/ 300 - Rise Of An Empire

 

The long-delayed prequel to 300 starring Eva Green follows events from the Persian invades perspective, although director Noam Murro is an untested commodity.

24/ Machete Kills

 

Robert Rodriguez and Danny Trejo return for more Mexploitation craziness which co-stars Amber Heard, Zoe Saldana, Jessica Alba, Vanessa Hudgens and Mel Gibson as the bad guy!

25/ Jack Ryan

 

Tom Clancy’s nerd-spy returns with Chris Pine taking over from Ben Affleck, Harrison Ford and Alec Baldwin. Kenneth Brannagh directs.

26/ The Hunger Games - Catching Fire

 

I Am Legend’s Francis Lawrence directs this adaptation of the sequel to this years brilliant original.

27/ R.I.P.D

 

Ryan Reynold and Jeff Bridges team up as undead cops for the Rest In Peace Department in an offbeat comic adaptation.

28/ The Evil Dead

The Sam Raimi produced remake of his 1981 orginal promises fewer laughs and greater scares.

29/ Trance

 

A genre bending thriller from Oscar winner Danny Boyle starring James McAvoy and Rosario Dawson.

30/ Zero Dark Thirty

Director Kathryn Bigelow returns to the world of contemporary military combat with this account of the hunt for Osama Bin Laden.

PART FOUR

 

 

31/ Lincoln

Steven Spielberg ‘s long gestating biopic of the American President finally reaches us starring Daniel Day Lewis.

32/ White House Down

 

Die Hard in The White House, version 1. Directed by Roland Emmerich and starring Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx as the President.

33/ Olympus Has Fallen

 

Die Hard in The White House, version 2. Directed by Antoine Fuqua and starring Gerard Butler and Aaron ckhart as the President.

34/ The Last Stand

Arnold Schwarznegger’s first starring role since exiting the world of U.S. Politics sees his aging Border Sheriff and rag tag deputies take on a dangerous, fleeing drug kingpin.

35/ The Tomb

Arnie re-teams with Stallone in a prison set action drama.

36/ Lords Of Salem

Auteur Rob Zombie returns behind the camera for an arty, Rosemary’s Baby-esque tale featuring a middle-American witches coven.

37/ Enders Game

 

An adaptation of Orson Scott Card’s future set, alien invasion epic starring Harrison Ford and Asa Butterfield.

38/ Red 2

 

Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren and Mary Louise Parker return for the action comedy sequel.

39/ Kick Ass 2

 

Jeff Wadlow directs the sequel to Matthew Vaughan’s brilliant original with added Jim Carrey.

40/ Warm Bodies

Nicholas Hoult and Teresa Palmer star in this quirky zombie rom-com from the director of 50/50 and All The Boys Love Mandy Lane.

PART FIVE

 

41/ Despicable Me 2

Sequel to the sleeper animation hit of 2010 with Steve Carell and his minions returning.

42/ The Last Exorcism, Part 2

 

This sequel to the brilliant 2010 movie has Ashley Bell’s previously possessed victim trying to settle down for a normal life.

43/ Gangster Squad


An L.A. set, big budget reworking of The Untouchables with Nick Nolte, Ryan Gosling, Josh Brolin and Sean Penn plus Emma Stone.

44/ Flight

Robert Zemekis returns to live action film making after fannying around with creepy mo-cap animation for a true life story starring Denzel Washington.

45/ Mama

Oscar darling, Jessica Chastain, stars in this creepy horror yarn from the production house of Guillermo Del Torto.

46/ Carrie

Boys Don’t Cry’s Kimberly Peirce directs this remake of Stephen King’s classic starring Chloe Moretz in the title role.

47/ The Great Gatsby

Visionary Baz Luhrman directs this sumptuous adaptation of the American literary classic starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Carey Mulligan.

48/ Fast & Furious 6

 

Vin Diesel and walking plank Paul Walker return for more high speed hijinks.

49/ Now You See Me

Ruffalo, Eisenberg, Freeman, Harrelson and Caine star as a team of illusionists who pull off bank heists. Directed by Louis Letterier.

50/ Rush

 

Ron Howard’s biopic of legendary F1 driver James Hunt with Chris Hemsworth in the lead role.

51/ 47 Ronin

 

Keanu Reeves returns in this 18th century set, samurai revenge epic.

52/ Attack Of The Clones & Revenge Of The Sith 3D!!!

Star Wars. Back in cinemas. Has to be seen. And in added 3D!

The Top Twenty Films EVER Made

Here's my top 20 films of all time. The top ten is pretty much set in stone (including the order), the bottom ten not so much. There's also a heap of movies that I'd like to include (Blade Runner / Gladiator etc...sorry Ridley Scott) but haven't the space. You may agree or you may disagree, either way bugger off and do your own list.

20/ Predator 19/ Mission Impossible 18/ The Blues Brothers 17/ Inception 16/ Alien 15/ Star Wars 14/ First Blood 13/ Lethal Weapon 12/ The Thing 11/ Jaws 10/ Aliens 9/ The Fellowship Of The Ring 8/ Field Of Dreams 7/ Star Trek II - The Wrath Of Khan 6/ Back To The Future 5/ The Empire Strikes Back 4/ Raiders Of The Lost Ark 3/ The Matrix 2/ The Shawshank Redemption 1/ Die Hard

(Air)borne To Be Bad

Towards the end of Airborne, buxom ex-Hollyoaks cutie Gemma Atkinson places a gun in her gob and blows the back of her head off, the inferance being that she has been possessed by a particularly nasty demon. In reality, one suspects she takes her own life upon the realisation that there may never be a worse film in 2012 than the film she is currently staring in. Airborne is a gigantic pile of shit.


Let's put it simply; director Dominic Burns (Cockneys vs Zombies / Strippers vs Werewolves) is the new Dr Uwe Boll. His work is slick, glossy and professional looking but has the narrative coherance of a stew, cooked by a brain damaged jigsaw puzzle designer. Very little makes sense, there's no attempt at focusing the story on likable or interesting characters...let along create a charcter arc of any kind and it's one of the worst example of stupid characters doing remarkably stupid things for totally unapparant reasons. All the time.


Aside from the lovely Ms Atkinsons boobs, Airborne has quite the starry, and utterly underused, cast including Alan Ford, Craig Conway and Julian Glover who are all fine. However, the supporting cast are a mixed bunch with the very worst (and wooden) of them taking their lead from old and fat Mark Hamill who is utterly embarressing as the air traffic contoller cheif who's on his last shift at work before retirement (yep, he's way too old for this shit). The mix of mystery thriller, crime caper story, airplane disaster flick and horror movie doesn't gel...thanks to a staggeringly under-written script and some terrible direction choices while the effects are clearly ripped directly from Harrison Ford's Air Force One film.

A great contender for worst film of the year.

Consider My Dark Knight Risen!

It comes as no great surprise that after a stunning track record of great movies, including his two previous Batman films, that Christopher Nolan once again delivers the good (and then some) with the conclusion of his Batman trilogy, The Dark Knight Rises. While many will miss Heath Ledger’s turn as the Joker, some will find the pace too deliberate in the first couple of acts and the tone far gloomier than might be their preference, but there’s no doubt that the film delivers the goods in the emotion and spectacle departments.

As with Nolan’s other films there’s an awful lot going on during the film, working on multiple character arcs, various story strands and exploring many different themes throughout the duration and it’s a huge pleasure that the man doesn’t treat his audience like idiots. While many of the film’s detractors have savaged the film for various reasons, let’s remember this is no Revenge Of The Fallen or Batman & Robin; this is intelligent, art-house film-making on an unprecedented blockbuster scale and the rarity and joy of that fact should not get lost because certain expectations were not met.

The story of The Dark Knight Rises brings the trilogy full circle with a return to The League Of Shadows who dominated Batman Begins. It feels like a proper sequel to both Batman Begins (Bruce Wayne’s story arc is constantly referenced back to the 2005 origin film) and it continues the story of 2008’s The Dark Knight by examining in detail the consequences of the death of Gotham District Attorney Harvey Dent, and the decision that was made to pin the blame on the Batman. In look, Rises like a midway point between Begins and Knight having the more comic book feel of Begins while retaining the more realistic location shooting of Knight. In terms of tone, Rises is by far the least positive of the three, being far darker, more intense, less humorous (although there is traces of dark wit) with the stakes far, far bigger than ever before. Grim, serious and epic don’t begin to cover it.

Technically the film is a marvel being the most beautifully shot, the most impressively designed and the most impressive stunt work of the three. Cinematographer Wally Pfister is a genius and should be referred to as such in all future reviews, the sets are epic and even Bondian in nature from the gigantic prison where Wayne is confined to in the second act and the network of huge underground locations from the nuclear laboratory, the new Batcave, Bane’s lair as well as the vast array of tunnel systems that are hidden beneath Gotham. Stunt wise the opening hijack sequence (pretty much the best Bond pre-title set-piece never shot) takes some beating but an epic car chase an hour in as well as a brutal convoy chase near the climax ensures that bone-crunching, non-CGI action remains at the forefront of the series reputation for bruising, realistic set-pieces. The action is also the most superior of the three films, with the camera content to stand back and let the bruising fights play out in all their glory, rather than the frenzied, fast cutting close ups of Batman Begins.

The returning cast have never been better. Christian Bale in the dual role of Bruce Wayne and Batman returns to the fore of the story after sharing the plot with Harvey Dent and the Joker last time around, and demonstrating like never before why he was the absolute perfect actor to take on the lead character in Nolan’s Bat-franchise. He’s on superb, award winning form as he ably portrays Wayne journey from physically and mentally scarred recluse to reinvigorated badass Batman. Anne Hathaway is excellent as Selina Kyle, aka Catwoman, in role that requires extreme subtlety and depth, while Joseph Gordon-Levitt mirrors his Inception role with a performance that’s equally stoic and heroic. Tom Hardy makes a brilliant villain as the masked brute Bane. He might be less complex and quirky than Heath Ledger’s Joker but he makes up for it with the sheer raw presence of his physicality and vocal dominance. And yes, you can hear what he’s saying through the mask. Come Oscar time though, I think it will be Michael Caine’s moving performance as Alfred that will get the Academy’s attention. He show an, as yet, unseen side to Alfred that’s very moving and a powerful contributor to the success of the telling of Bruce Wayne’s journey.

With this being the concluding chapter of this trilogy the story doesn’t have quite the original edge that it’s predecessor had, but that’s just fine since the story they are telling is toweringly mythic. Structurally Rises reminds me of a lot of existing plots covering lots of different forms of storytelling. In terms of comics, Rises lifts elements directly from Batman stories Knightfall (the introduction of Bane) and No Man’s Land (Gotham is cut off from the rest of the world). Nolan himself has confirmed that A Tale Of Two Cities is heavily referenced throughout Rises it being a similar story about a man sacrificing himself for another (of sorts) so that they can find peace, in the face of violent revolution. And oddly, it also reminds me of a few completely unrelated films. There’s a Die Hard With A Vengeance vibe to Rises which is down to a Stock Exchange-centric caper that masks the true intentions of the bad guys who are holding the city hostage while a lone hero tries to foil their plan. And now the Dark Knight franchise has reached a third entry, it’s also reminiscent of The Matrix trilogy where the three films were about birth, life and death respectively. Sam Raimi’s Spider-man 2 is a similar comic-book movie in which all elements of the hero’s life are gradually striped away from him whether it’s love, money or health. And with America’s largest metropolis cut off, isolated and controlled by murderous criminals it has a distinct Escape From New York feel, right down to the bassy, electronic score by Hans Zimmer.

Perhaps most bizarrely, the Rocky films feel like they’re familiar stable mates too! From Rocky III there’s the parallel that the hero has two face to face fights with his nemesis; losing the first and winning the second. It has a Rocky IV feel as the hero’s opponent is seemingly superhuman and invincible. It echoes Rocky Balboa as the hero is now a fighter way past his prime, gets to fight a superior adversary which ends in him both winning and losing. And finally there’s Rocky V, in which there hero goes bankrupt, is confirmed to have brain damage (due to his earlier bouts) and goes onto have a brutal street fight in the finale! Who knew Christopher Nolan was such a big Stallone fan!

As with all Christopher Nolan films, the scripts are epic, emotionally rich and character-centric yet structurally tight as a tiger. Every scene is essentially and attempts to have multiple purposes to move the complex story along as simply, as richly and as swiftly as possible. Take the party at Wayne Manor at the beginning of the film. Apart from Bane and Blake, it sets in motion ALL of the character arcs of the film as well as the more initial, subtle strands of the League Of Shadows plot to take down Wayne/Batman and Gotham. Key elements are reused for different purposes to make the story as lean as possible. Take the concept and use of orphans. It’s used to create a common connection between Wayne and Blake, so they can be used as workers for Bane’s master plan, so they can be used to put Blake in a moral dilema at the film’s climax, to highlight the economic woes facing the poor and needy in Gotham, to highlight the idea of ‘Batman as Legend’ and if the mythic figure will be returning. And it also allows us to see the events in Gotham through the eyes of a normal citizen.
Rises also has a literal’ ticking bomb’ plot which adds tension once the true nature of Bane’s plan becomes clear.



Thematically, there’s a lot going on.

1/ Rises. The fact that the word ‘rises’ is in the title is no mistake as the central idea of ’upward mobility’ is key to what is happening on a micro and macroscopic scale. This can either mean literally as Wayne seeks to climb out of the Prison where’s he’s been sent to rot or socially as Selina Kyle hopes to acquire wealth and riches to move up the class system.

2/ Socialism vs. Capitalism. Much of the political subtext of Rises seems to be a warning of the dangers of socialist populism when taken to the extreme. In Rises case, a society in Gotham is created where everybody appears to be equal. Except, as is always the case as history has taught us, it is co-opted by a totalitarian regime for its own uses. We’re also shown the flipside of this through corporate big shot Taggert, who isn’t interested in investments that are for the betterment of mankind (the clean fusion reactor) but those which selfishly line his own pocket. If socialism is about the good of people as a group and capitalism is about the good of the individual then perhaps Rises is suggesting that both are true. In the endgame Gotham comes together and rises against the tyranny, and within that collective it is individuals that make change happen. It’s a familiar tale that Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and many others have used over the years that we can come together to defeat evil and that the individual can make a difference. Batman can be anyone, we’re told, as can the masked Bane, the mysterious

Ra's al Ghul (and his offspring) as well as the unknown triggerman to the apocalyptic neutron bomb. We can all be game changers.

3/ Politics. There’s a lot of political references to past and present events that informs Rises back story. The Harvey Dent Act which has allowed the streets of Gotham to be cleaned of organised crime is both a reference to the freedom impingements of the Patriot Act as well as the current US policies to detain terror suspects indefinitely at Guantanamo Prison. It’s a vision of America in which an uprising, of the like which has swept across the Middle East in Egypt, Tunisia and Libya, takes hold and what that might be like. It reflects our current Wikileaks culture where defenders of government transparency expose major lies which have been keeping the people in check as Bane exposes Commissioner Gordon’s lie regarding Harvey Dent’s squeaky clean image. Terrorism once again gets a look in as Bane is the ultimate suicide bomber, not one with a strip of dynamite strapped to his chest, but one with a nuclear fusion device. The Occupy / 99% movement is reflected in the anti-capitalist stance that Bane and his buddies take, but one that’s mixed with a more edgy, dangerous and radical feel of the Tea Party movement from a few years back if the gun loving, God fearing extremists had their way.

4/ Mythology. Batman, as the story is played out here is a reworking of the hero myth, or “Jesus allegory Batman” to put it simply. By the end of the first act, Bruce Wayne has lost his entire wealth; he’s a man of the people. His quest to fulfil his life leads him into a cave (thanks to the misdirection of a trickster) where he must face his greatest fear from which he will eventually be reborn. He gives his life for the betterment of all, ascends to a place of self-contentment with the promise that he could return from death in a second coming to save us all. Afterward, his image and his symbol inspire hope in others as well as inspiring others to do good deeds as he once did. That sounds pretty biblical to me.

 

5/ Redemption. A lot of the characters in Rises are looking for a way out and for some kind of redemption. In Bruce Wayne’s case his way out was represented in The Dark Knight by Rachel who was then killed in that film. Now, although he doesn’t realise it, he doesn’t resist dying as a way out until he realises that his life is something worth fighting for. Selina Kyle craves a new start as well although she is constantly torn about which is the most moral way to achieve this. Commissioner Gordon is looking for a way out from the guilt regarding his and Batman’s lie about the true nature of Harvey Dent. John Blake needs a way out from the shackles of a justice system which keeps his ‘hot-headed’ nature in check. Even Alfred, frustrated and desperate, needs a way out in order to try to save his beloved Master Wayne. All these characters are alone in life. Wayne and Alfred leave each other, Gordon’s family have left him, Blake is an orphan and Selina pushes everyone away or betrays them. Even Talia’s parents are murdered and Bane is hinted at having an unrequited love of the girl he has selflessly dedicated himself to protect.

6/ Equals & Opposites. In many ways Bane and Talia are shown to be the counterparts to Bruce Wayne and Batman. Bane is Batman’s opposite; trained also by the League Of Shadows and he dwells underground in a lair with a waterfall, yet he has more bat mobiles than Batman and is significantly stronger. Talia is Bruce Wayne’s counterpart; both have murdered parents, both have sworn revenge and allegiance to an ideology and both are considerably rich business-persons, although with completely opposing goals for the fusion reactor project.

7/ Fire & Ice. The ice motif becomes a recurring aspect throughout the story. It perhaps describes the mental state of Bruce Wayne who has remained socially and professionally ‘frozen’ over the last 8 years. The precarious nature of ice reflects the shrinking, unstable situation Selina finds herself in as her chances of a fresh start crumble beneath her feet which is represented literally as Gotham’s undesirables are forcibly ‘exiled’ across the crumbling frozen river. And the snow represents the winter that has both literally and metaphorically fallen over Gotham during Bane’s five month reign.

In contrast, fire represents change. Bane constantly refers to the rising fire…referencing the looming revolution, Batman uses it to signal his return and the uprising that follows. And Batman himself is engulfed in the ultimate explosion of fire, perhaps transitioning from life to heroic death (depending on how you read the end of the film).

7/ Hope & Truth. Perhaps the most prominent thread that runs through the film is the relationship between the truth and how that impacts hope. In The Dark Knight several characters decide not to tell the truth so that it may inspire hope in others. Gordon and Batman lie about Harvey Dent’s murderous nature so that the Dent Act can be passes, bringing peace and hope to a criminally overrun city. Alfred denies Bruce Wayne the truth about Rachel’s true feeling about him so that Bruce would continue in his hope that he would someday, post Batman, be together with her. The script explores the consequences of those lies as they burden each of the characters as well as how hope can be used as a weapon by denying it when its promise seems so close. Bane keeps Wayne in a prison where he can build up his hope before killing him. He also does the same on a larger scale with Gotham, giving them the hope of equality before blowing them to atoms.

It also shows the positives of creating hope from lies in the finale as Blake is put in a position where he chooses to lie to the school bus full of orphans about their survival chances to create hope in what he believes will be their final moments.

One of the best things about Nolan movies is that he has often strived for the films to actually become what they are about thematically. For instance, Inception was about the perception of reality. It’s final shot left us thinking about whether we had perceived Inception itself as ‘reality’ or whether the whole thing was just a dream of the main character. And Memento’s story was about a man who could only remember the last ten minutes, therefore it was edited in ten minute chunks so that we experienced it as the main character did. At the end of Rises, a film about hope in all its different forms, we have a scene which Alfred sees Bruce Wayne alive and well. Rather cunningly, Nolan doesn’t tell us whether this is the truth (he’s alive) or a lie (it’s part of Alfred’s imagination as set up in the first half an hour). Are we being given hope or is it a false hope? That, it would seem, is always the question.

The Dark Knight Rises

is a belter of a film emotionally, significantly more so than its two predecessor which had their moments too. With this being the final chapter of the Nolan Bat-universe and with the very presence of Bane (known from the comics as the man who broke the bat’s back) the stakes are considerably raised this time out. The focus is back on Christian Bale again (for the better) and the character arc he has to travel, from broken recluse to resurrected saviour, is much more satisfying emotionally than ever before.

You get to see the end of a great saga with Bruce Wayne’s idea ultimately paying off; Anne Hathaway’s Selina Kyle, Matthew Modine’s shallow cop and Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Blake are all inspired by the Batman, just as he was intended to, and that’s a damn fine thing to witness after seven years of investment in these films. And that final scene, with Blake (his real name now revealed) rising triumphantly out of shot, now that my friends is one hell of a way to end a movie.

How Do You Like Dem Apples?

Good Will Hunting doesn’t fit the ‘feel good’ movie mold as snuggly as The Shawshank Redemption and Field Of Dreams, but it’s still a wonderfully grounded drama that makes you feel ten times better on the way out then you did on the way in. Featuring an amazing Oscar winning script by stars Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, it follows young Boston lad Will who has a basic cleaning job in Harvard University, hangs around in bars a lot with his mates (Casey and Ben Affleck and Cole Hauser) and is constantly in trouble for getting into fights. He’s also a mathematical genius with a stellar IQ and a photographic memory. Then three people enter his life who provide him with the support to change; Stellan Skarsgard’s needy mathematician, Minnie Driver’s love interest and Robin Williams’ psychologist.

This is an air tight, beautifully structure drama that hit’s the ground running and doesn’t stop until its powerful but understated final shot. The performances are all fantastic. As Will, Matt Damon has never been better as the hot headed, opinionated kid who hides a vulnerability that he doesn’t want to deal with. Ben Affleck is suburb too as his down to earth, frankly honest and loyal best friend, Minnie Driver proves that Grosse Point Blank wasn’t a fluke with a bubbly, infectious and outright adorable performance and Robin Williams is deserving of his supporting Oscar win as the quiet, unorthodox Doctor who barely contains his inner turmoil.

It’s an inspirational and cathartic story about overcoming guilt and fear to embrace life and all handled with a light, naturalistic touch by Gus Van Sant. Like the also uplifting Shawshank, Good Will Hunting also has a clever framing device as Will’s arc is highlighted in a repeat scene where Affleck goes to pick him up for work. And the dialogue is sharp too with the ‘How do you like them apples?’ scene becoming part of mainstream culture although there are plenty more such as Robin Williams’ experience verses knowledge speech practically winning him the Acadamy Award.

Wonderful stuff. Now that Affleck is direct, I wonder if we can see an acting, writing, directing team up of the Boston twosome anytime in our future.