Destiny Incorporated

Directed by Bourne writer George Nolfi and based on the story by Blade Runner's Philip K Dick, The Adjustment Bureau centres on Matt Damon's Senator and Emily Blunt's Ballerina as two souls destined NOT to be with each other. The mysterious agency of the title are empowered to ensure us humans, including the destined-for-great-things Damon and Blunt, stick to what fate has already determined will be our path by interfering as inconspicuously in our lives as they can. If you've ever lost your keys that makes you miss that important appointment...chances are it's the Adjustment Bureau.

Strip away the politics, spirituality, chase thriller and science fiction aspects from the film and what you have remaining is a straight-forward romance. Now, being a bit of a bloke I'm not one to watch romances very often and when I do it's usually because it's part of a comedy movie narrative like Zack and Miri, Clerks 2 or The 40 Year Old Virgin. Twilight would be a prime example of a romantic story played straight that I've seen recently but that's hampered by the fact that both the direction and the love lorn leads are as boring as hell's toilet seat. Bureau is so much part of the romance genre it even goes so far as to include the climactic run of the hero to win his lovers heart again...but fortunately it does so in a thrilling and unusual way.

Adjustment's romance works because of the compelling story and the star wattage of it's leads. Damon has already repeatedly demonstrated his ability as an A-list leading man, but it's Blunt who surprises here; she oozes charisma and sexuality (God I love posh totty accents), and it's her key romantic scenes with Damon, showing enormous chemistry together, that forms the sturdy foundation for the plot. If the audience doesn't root for Blunt and Damon to be together, then any obstacle placed in their way by the baddies or the screen writers would be rendered pointless... but root for them we certainly do.

It's refreshing to have a thriller that isn't overwhelmed with explosions and CGI; there's an old fashioned, unfussily staged direction to the film which enhances the drama, and there's a elegant simplicity to the look and design whether it's the Bureau's 60's Trilby hats or the timeless grandeur New York cityscape. The commendably lean script is layered with an exploration of fate versus free will and order versus chaos with the more religious aspects (God and Angels) given a more corporate reimagining. Finally, Thomas Newman, of Shawshank and American Beauty fame, delivers a haunting score which goes a long way to making the film exciting, mature in tone and emotionally absorbing.

A deceptively simple but great little movie.

A Blackhawk Down In District 9 On Independence Day

There's nothing remotely original about Battle Los Angeles. Most mainstream reviews have it pegged as a cross between Ridley Scott's Blackhawk Down (which is the film it most closely resembles) and Roland Emmerich's Independence Day, but there's elements of District 9, Skyline and, most prominently, the story structure of Aliens. So, like Jim Cameron's classic, we have a group of soldiers sent into a populated community that's been over run by hostile aliens with the mission of extracting the population and fighting the E.Ts. There's the small child, soldier and civilian woman that form a 'family unit', there's a green commanding officer who has to make the noble sacrificee for the group with a grenade, and the race to escape the township against the ticking clock before it gets blown to smithereens.

But despite the familiar story and directing style, the cardboard characters, abysmal dialogue, corny male bonding and patriotic flag waving Battle LA is bloody entertaining. It's a premise movie...a "men on a mission movie" with a simple objective...rescue the civilians in the next three hours before we flatten the crap out of the city. Add to that the intense hand held docu-camera style of Blackhawk and Private Ryan and you have a raw, pulse pounding combat movie that drags the audience into the centre of the action. We don't care much for the scantily written characters, but we can imagine ourselves trapped behind enemy lines with the awe struck grunts and try to work out how the hell we'd get out of that situation. And sometimes that's enough for an adrenaline rush at the flicks.

It's dumb, the drama scenes are embarrassing, the humour (what little of it there is) flat, and the cast mostly forgettable (apart from Eckhart and Rodriguez). But if you're willing to accept this as a pure entertainment, bullshit action movie white knuckle rollercoaster ride then you're in for a major treat. Michael Bay would be impressed.

Not Smarter Than The Average Movie

Yogi Bear sucks. That should be no surprise to anyone who's seen a talking animal movie over the last couple of years whether its Alvin & The Chipmunks or the night terrors inducing Furry Vengeance. Now Yogi isn't anywhere near as depressing than either of those two disasters, partly due to the nostalgic appeal of Yogi himself and his sidekick Boo Boo Bear, voiced uncannily similarly to the original vocal talent by Dan Ackroyd and Justin Timberlake. It's directed with energy and has some amusing comedic support from T.J. Jones as the inept Ranger Jones, Andrew Daly as the scheming Major and the perky Anna Faris who's criminally under used.

But this is a kids movie with no ambition to appeal to anybody over the age of six. The humour is ineffective, the special effects variable (I don't know whether it's residue from the 3D conversion process but Yogi often doesn't blend with his backgrounds) and the story a brain meltingly dull variation on the whole 'corporate bullys are taking our land and we've only one week to save it" kind of thing. Add to that lead actor Tom (Scrubs)Cavanagh who plays Ranger Smith is too subdued to carry the film.

Not offensively crap, but nearly.

Welcome To The Main Event

By a long, long way Event Horizon is the best film on much maligned director Paul W.S. Anderson's resume. Perhaps the nearest he gets is AvP, but that's far from perfect, and then you're left with a choice between Death Race, Resident Evils 1 & 4, Mortal Kombat and the mutant hellspawn that is Soldier. Event Horizon works for several reasons and I find it bizarre that Anderson's not been able to tap into that creativity when working on other projects.

He's got himself a really great cast here from top to bottom, recognising that for an ensemble to work ALL the pieces must be strong actors and relatable to an audience. How Anderson got the headline talent of Laurence Fishburne and Sam Neill is any ones guess, but add in posh totty Joely Richardson, quipping Richard T Jones, the intense Jason Isaacs, mumsy Kathleen Quinlan, rookie Jack Noseworthy and legend Sean Pertwee and you have a diverse and genuinely likable crew.

It's basically a haunted house movie in space. The scares are handled well with little of that frantic editing that's cursed Anderson's later work, the photography is well balanced between Tinseltown gloss and gritty reality (with sickly greens being used to induce unease), the Spaceship interior designs amazing (with the Event Horizon herself a blend of Gothic, cathedral architecture, coffin shaped corridors and religious iconography mixed into the mise en scene.

Although not as deep as one might hope in terms of exploring the impact of the 'haunted' ship on the characters it is an intelligent exploration of faith, where that's in God or in Hell, the scares are effective and the story atmospheric. Under-rated.

The Dangers Of Getting A Bigger Boat

Poseidon, the Wolfgang Peterson directed remake of 1972's The Poseidon Adventure, represents a lot of what's wrong with Hollywood today. It's a vast, mega budget action movie with a (mostly) B-list cast, zero characterisation with no originality in its bones whatsoever. Although it's a reimagining of the Irwin Allen produced disaster movie classic, it feels like a cynical cash-in on Titanic, then the biggest film of all time. And since that's directed to brilliant effect by the master James Cameron, Poseidon comes off as a less involving, but just as visually spectacular knock off instead.

Gene Hackman's commanding preacher is replaced by Kurt Russell's fireman come politician and Josh Lucas' loner. While I love Russell's work he's no match for Hackman's superior, more complex hero and let's just say I'm glad Hollywood stopped trying to make Josh Lucas a star. He has that youthful arrogance of a young Pierce Brosnan which makes him unappealing and cocky...something age will temper as it did in Brosnan's case. Kevin Dillon gets the antagonistic Ernest Borgnine role but gets killed off way too early to create any sustained tension...and the remainder of the cast, including the normally value-for-money Richard Dreyfuss, are forgettable disaster movie fodder.

Still, if you can rely on Wolfgang Peterson and Warner Bros' cheque book for one thing...the film sure do look good. It has a slick contemporary sheen, at least making it a different visual pallet from Titanic and some astoundingly detailed ILM effects (the Poseidon flyby of the main titles is gorgeous).

Poseidon is the Paris Hilton of blockbusters; pretty on the outside and eager to please, but with the make-up off it's very plain with absolutely nothing going on in it's tiny brain.

Drive Horny

With Patrick Lussier's Drive Angry it seems that Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez are no longer the only ones making Grindhouse movies. When your movie begin with the hero walking away from a fireball in slow motion while an electric guitar wails victoriously, you know exactly what type of film you're gonna get; dumb, profane violent, gory, sexy, trashy fun. Yep, it's Grindhouse pure and simple...tons of nudity, tons of swearing, limbs are cut off, people are tortured and there's a cool soundtrack to accompany it all. Just wonderful.

Cage is, surprisingly, on subdued mode...but has the quiet charisma we've come to expect to pull this ludicris stuff off. William Fichtner steals the show as 'The Accountant', a smartly dressed bounty hunter from hell who's take on life on Earth is expressed with a cool detachment and an superior amusement at the antics of the mortals around him. He's one for the bad guy hall of fame. But topping Fichtner is Amber Heard as Piper, armed with the shortest shorts, the longest legs, the fiercest attitude and the cutest face in cinema during 2011. If she manages to escape these meager scream queen beginnings, and retains her looks, acting ability and attitude, we may have another Angelina on the way. Of course she's recently outed herself as "bi" or lesbian, which means Hollywood prejudice might kick in and relegate her to TV land...but here's hoping.

If you liked Planet Terror, Machete and From Dusk Til Dawn, you should like this. It may lack the sparkle of Tarantino dialogue or the sheer inventiveness od Rodriguez's' direction...but there's still 10 times the amount of fun to be had than in a Bruckheimer production of the last decade.

March Pick N Mix

I don't know how long this'll be posted for but here's the opening for the 2011 Oscars (the best bit of the show by far)...



Here's what Zoe SAldana and Kate Bosworth get up to in their spare time...

Idiots with Zoe Saldana & Kate Bosworth from Zoe Saldana

And here's the first of two sketches that feature A-Listers, that were broadcast after the Oscars show...





Peter "RoboCop" Wellar explains exactly why Detroit should have a RoboCop stature erected...

RoboCop Speaks to Detroit from Peter Weller

An example ot what geeks can achieve with time, effort and some post production software on your home PC...



And despite this observation being made by everybody and their dog over the last 28 years, here's a brief but nifty Tarantino/Star Wars mash up...