How Can The Same Shit Meet The Same Pants Twice!?!

Let's get the obvious out of the way right away. Not everybody likes the current trend in hand-held, found-footage movies. Whether it's Cloverfield, The Blair Witch Project, Diary Of The Dead or last year's breakout hit Paranormal Activity... audiences either love 'em or hate 'em. The same will apply to this year's sequel Paranormal Activity 2 which tells the story of a similar family, in a similar house, in a similar way. In short, if you didn't like the first one then there's nothing to see hear.

If, on the other hand, you though the original was a lesson in sustained tension, shock scares...all based on our primal fears of darkness and things that go bump in the night...the follow up is a corker. On a sheer technical level it matches the original for atmosphere, buttock clenching set-pieces and jump-out-of-your seat shock moments (there's one particular moment when the audience I saw it with collectively soiled themselves...me included). And on a story level too, it succeeds. It does exactly what a good sequel should; give you enough of the original in story and structure...but provide enough new situations, information, settings and characters for it to feel fresh. Focusing on the (mentioned but not seen) sister of Katie Featherston's heroine from the original, the writers skillfully expand the mythology of this movie franchise while carefully entwining it with the narrative of the first film (much like Saw 2 or Back To The Future 2 did).

The result is an effective horror experience that has you gripping your seat waiting for the next scare. If there's a criticism then it's the husband character who has CCTV camers all over his house but refuses to look at them (but, to be fair, this plot point is paid off later). A great film then...but I think they should stop here before getting into Saw territory and destroying all good will these films have.

30 Days Of Direct To DVD Dark Days

I was quite sad when the comic book adaptation 30 Days Of Night didn't make much cash at the box office, despite it being a bloody good vampire movie. I love the series of graphic novels created by Steve Niles and Ben Templesmith, and had hope that the sequel stories would be filmed as well. Well, lack of income didn't stop them as the second story, Dark Days, has been produced and released. Only, this time, it's on a much reduced budget and dumped straight on to DVD.

That smaller spend has meant that Melissa George, soul survivor of the first movie, isn't affordable to this effort. Putting in a decent turn as her replacement is A Perfect Getaway actress Kiele Sanchez who plays the long suffering Stella, out for vengeance on the streets of L.A. Lacking the high concept plot, the ghoulish ferocity and the slow burn atmospherics of the original, Dark Days is a disposable vampire thriller for the ZoneHorror TV channel. The cast are fine and the production is adequate but it's connection to the first film is the only reason to watch this auto-pilot directed scarefest. take away that connection and I'm not sure you'd take this off the shelf at Blockbuster.

Breaking News: The Wit Of Willis Captured On Film

RED, the new comedy thriller starring Bruce Willis, is the forth movie this year to feature a disgraced mercenary unit out to clear their name (following The A-Team, The Expendables and The Losers). While it might not be that original...it is pretty good fun. You know it's fun 'cause Bruce Willis is having fun. And not that Cop Out or The Whole None Yards kind of (phoning it in) fun. No Bruce is charming, quirky, inspired and comically charismatic in RED, and that's always worth watching.

The cast, including Morgan Freeman are all solid, but thankfully for us there's some surprises. John Malkovich steals the show as a paranoid ex-CIA operative that was force-fed too much LSD, Mary Louise-Parker is engagingly scatty as the group's outsider, Karl Urban kicks arse as the bloke hunting them down while Richard Dreyfus, Ernest Borgnine (yes, he's still working!), Brian Cox and James Remar have cool cameos.

Director Robert (Flightplan) Schwentke instils an offbeat Oceans Eleven vibe that provides some smirksome humour...plus it has a John Landis sensibility on occasion with some subtle, well timed gags in amongst the mayhem. Less an action movie, more a comedy, wrapped in thriller's clothing...RED is to be recommended. The penultimate act is a little slow and serious and the tone isn't as consistent as Soderberg's caper trilogy, but it's a step up in terms of wit and intelligence from The A-Team movie.

Carry On Al-Qaeda

Comedian/ director Chris Morris carries on his tradition of controversial political and social satire, this time on the big screen, with Four Lions. This follows a group of British Muslim extremist wannabes as they pursue their goals to become suicide bombers.
It's played dead straight, allowing the absurdities of the characters and their decision supply the laughs. There a few guffaws to be had from the groups attempts to work with various explosive devices, with fellow trainees and innocent animals getting the brunt of it (there's nothing quite like the laugh you get from an exploding animal.) The satire isn't just directed at the extremist wannabes either, with the media and police getting some stick too (the "wookie" gag is a standout).

As expected, Morris doesn't shy away from the darker side of terrorism showing the lads implementing their plan and taking casualties in the process...even if it isn't quite what they had in mind. The group themselves are a misguided bunch who want to be suicide bombers for various reasons; one because he's anti-establishment and egotistical, another because he hasn't thought through the illogical morality of his dream, another because it's 'cool' and another because he's too lazy to think for himself, letting his brother 'tell' him what to do.

Not a shocking film, but sad. Sad that our society has idiots like this in it. Well, at least we can laugh at them.

"Ferris Bueller, You're My Hero"

It takes a lot for a comedy movie to impress me. I don't go and see comedy movies at the cinema much anymore, preferring to wait until a home video release or TV broadcast. And then the poor thing's gotta stand the test of time. For example, although they're quite similar in their subject matter, Kevin Smith movies age well...Judd Apatow movies do not. So those comedies that have stayed with me for decades are worthy of lifetime achievement awards just for enduring and staying fresh and funny.

One of those few comedies is John Hughes' classic Ferris Bueller's Day Off. It stars a youthful Matthew Brodrick (before years of marriage to Horseface have taken their toll) who plays the title character; a high school teen who bunks off school with his best chum and girlfriend. Of course, like The Shawshank Redemption, the film's not really about the main guy, but rather his close friend who looks upon his mate in awe; in this case it's Alan Ruck's (who plays Cameron) story. Ferris doesn't really have a character arc. Rather he's the life and soul of the party that affects change in those around him; primarily Cameron and his spiteful sister Jennifer Grey.

It's the sharply defined character's attitudes, the wicked comic timing, the well observed send up of school life and the often surreal humorous interludes which interupt the story which makes this such a joy. The film's many demands are juggled expertly by Hughes...keeping it sweet and serious for more dramatic moments, large and epic for others (the carnival rendition of Twist and Shout is life affirming) while the comedy is often played like a Warner Brothers cartoon...bulging eyes accompanied with a shrieking orchestra. Moments that still shine today include the most boring teacher on Earth, Charlie Sheen's cameo, the nurse-o-gram, Ferris's keyboard samples and frantic race to get home first.

Stealing the show is Jeffery Jones, a gifted and subtle comedy actor, playing the headmaster, Principal Ed Rooney. Every scene he's in, whether it's with his secretary and comedy sidekick Grace (Edie McClurg) or facing an enraged rottweiler, Joneses animated face and sublime comic sensibilities rule. I watched Ferris with my teen nephew and he loved it...well who at that age wouldn't. Cherish those classic comedies people. Cherish them because there aren't that many of them around; never were, never will be....unless you love Meet The Spartans, in which case every comedy movie is a classic comedy movie...

Rose Will Blow You (Away)

God bless Robert Rodriguez. There aren't many A-list directors that are as dedicate to pulp, schlock entertainment like he is. From Dusk Til Dawn, Machete, Desperado and Sin City...if there's over-the-top, logic suspending, Mexploitation action bullshit to be had, Rodriguez won't be far away. Planet Terror formed the first segment of the failed box office experiment Grindhouse, but it's much like the director's other efforts in many ways.

There's the large ensemble of talented character actors (or has beens) playing larger than life weirdos (Bruce Willis, Naveen Andrews, Michael Biehn, Jeff Fahey, Josh Brolin...oh and of course Quentin), there's your striking leading lady, Rose McGowen(sassy, old school Hollywood brawn and beauty), and your Latino anti-hero, Freddy Rodriguez. There's the convoluted plot woven around a straightforward premise, the self styled score, the mature (adults only) off-kilter dialogue. And the memorable moments that litter the movie that stay with you forever; the fate of Marley Shelton's son, exploding heads, Quentin's toxic dick, the missing reel, Naveen's eyeball collection and, the icing on the cake, Rose's machine gun leg. Pure genius.

Just like Machete this year, there isn't a big market for z-list, dumb action movies like this as the box office results will testify. But as long as Rodriguez can keep pumping them out on the necessary low budgets with the high volumes of unrestrained fun that Planet Terror has, then we're looking at A-list entertainment for many years to come. I just wish he'd stop making those bloody kids films...

I Tawt I Taw A Putty Tat

OK, here's a really, really stupid premise. A young woman and her young brother are trapped inside their house with a tiger. Yep, you read that right, a freakin' tiger. That's the plot of direct to DVD thriller Burning Bright starring Briana (Step Up 2) Evigan. Of course the script writers could just leave it like that so they added some ingredients to spice things up and to help make that ridiculous premise make sense. So we get an evil stepfather (to place the hungry critter in the house), a hurricane outside (giving an excuse for the house to be boarded up), and an autistic brother for our heroine (so they can keep getting into needless encounters with the large kitty.)

Despite such a daft set up, it's executed with an understanding of dramatic tension and the leads do well to convey terror when confronted with an actual, living and breathing wild cat (instead of a shit CGI one). Ignore the bollocks family theatrics and just sit back and enjoy the game of cat and mouse (sorry that's cat and autistic kid). It's not terrible and it holds your attention, and sometimes, that's all you want from a direct to DVD feature film.

More Human, Than Human

BluRay has give me the excuse of revisiting some favorite movies of mine, one that happen to be established classics too. Ridley Scott's Blade Runner is one of those movies, beautifully restored in high definition a few years ago. The version I watched, The Final Cut, is basically the early 90's Directors Cut with a few special effects replaces or reinstated with a subtle re-edit and sound mix to spruce things up a bit. And a good job Sir Ridley did as this is the best incarnation of the science fiction classic there's ever been.

There's two main things that I take away with me on seeing Blade Runner this time round. Firstly, it's an extraordinary visual experience. The impeccably designed cityscapes, apartment interiors, vehicles, costumes, hairstyles and make-up, weapons and other props are a unique post modern mish-mash of retro and futuristic design. I'd forgotten what a major, major influence this film has had on me as an artist; the bleak, oppressive cityscapes, the litter strewn streets, the constantly raining, misty exteriors and the neon, lens flares and spotlights that pierce the gloom. Then there's the cynical side of me that love's the dystopian vision that Scott has created; where corporations dominate the cities, living like Gods in pyramid like buildings and where elitism rules with the poor and sick living on Earth like second class citizens.

Then there's the story, very different from the Philip K. Dick novel "Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?" on which it's based. On the surface it's a simple tale of a cop hunting down and killing for androids. But it's so much deeper and multi-layer than that. Questions of what is it to really be human, are raised. Other issues too; Is it experiences or memories that define a person? Where do you draw the line between right and wrong? Issues of faith, mortality, morality, slavery, sociology, love, death, and life are all tackled..and all with minimal dialogue (thanks to the removal of that grating voice over from the theatrical cut.)

Add to that great performances (Sean Young is beguiling/Rutger Hauer mesmerizing), Vangelis's unique score mixing electronic ambiance and haunting jazz, Douglass Trumball's detailed, awe inspiring effects and Ridley Scott's assured direction which is borderline art house. Still as good as it ever was; perhaps even better now. As the world slowly spirals to it's doom with corporations crushing the 'little people' and climate change makes human population expansion more of a drain on the environment, Blade Runner stands there and proclaims, "Told you so."

October Pick 'N' Mix

Eva Mendes proudly shows off her new Sex Tape...

Eva Mendes Sex Tape from Eva Mendes

A nice sitcom twist on classic Battlestar...



The great Emma Stone tells us about her favorite iPhone apps...

iPhone Murder Apps from Emma Stone

A brilliant Star Wars / Snatch mashup featuring the voice of Bricktop...



Inexplicably for the kids who would never have seen it, Sesame Street does a True Blood spoof...



And finally, Bad Boys II actress Gabrielle Union does a photoshoot where all doesn't go to plan...

Gabrielle Union's Sexy Lingerie Photoshoot from Gabrielle Union

The Future Is Perfect

If you asked me over the last 15 to 20 years what my definition of a perfect movie might be I'd have always given you the same answer. If you know what my favorite, top 5 films of all time are (a few are in this blog) you might be surprised that none of them are my 'perfect film' (although they might have a more personal connection elevating them further in my opinion). That perfect film is Robert Zemekis's 1985 classic, Back To The Future. Universal Studios, whose film it is, have been commendably restoring and theatrically re-releasing their back catalogue over the last couple of years, and I was fortunate enough to catch BTTF again in a digitally projected, surround sound cinema auditorium recently. And it's even more perfect now than it ever was.

The most astonishing thing is how streamlined and economical the story is, especially considering the large variety of separate plot elements it has to juggle.
Back To The Future is:-
1/ a science fiction, time travel movie (complete with potential paradoxes)
2/ a love story (between Marty's parents, Lorraine and George)
3/ a morality tale about self believe and confidence (Marty wanting to play the
school concert and George wanting to ask Lorraine out)
4/ a fish out of water/ culture clash comedy as 50's and 80's lifestyles clash.
5/ a high school drama, including the school bully, the prom dance, the strict
hallway monitor and the tale of the geeky kid getting the popular girl.
6/ a family sitcom with the close-knit but dysfunctional family unit.
7/ a terrorist thriller about stolen plutonium and their violent methods in
retrieving it.

I've seen the film a million times, but this was the first that I had realised that it contains two of my favorite movie genres;-
8/ it's an uplifting Capraesque fable, like A Christmas Carol or It's A Wonderful Life, that puts life into perspective when seen from a different viewpoint.
9/ it's a caper movie, with an impossible mission to be planned and executed by the
film's climax, during which the plan will almost fail.

All these plots are woven together in such a flawless way that each element blends seamlessly with the others, each one complimenting the other into a perfectly formed whole. The script is stunningly economic too with each scene adding something to the story, but more importantly, there are no unnecessary scenes that waste time. At the beginning, the opening sequence in Doc's workshop (done in one continuous take), you can see plot points furiously being set up; the fact Doc's an inventor, that Doc's stolen plutonium, that the film is about time, that he has a dog, that Marty plays guitar and has a skateboard, that he's late for school. Even the Harold Lloyd ornament which foreshadows Doc hanging from the clock tower...the entire movie is a water tight example of set up and pay off.

Zemekis's expert direction just strengthens this economy further with multiple story elements occupying each shot such as Marty's conversation with Jennifer at the movie's beginning. In one scene their relationship is fully established, the history and location of the clock tower (behind them) is set up and the clock tower flyer is introduced, Marty's insecurity about his guitaring talents are revealed, and finally, the 1985 Mayor election campaign is shown. All this in the space of a few minutes as two loved-up teens discuss their plans for the weekend (which fore-shadows the end of the movie). All of these story elements are cleverly woven around human drama, rather than scientific problem solving, which makes the movie easier to connect with emotionally. Even the boffin brainstorming to get Marty 'back to the future' is built around Marty's desire to get back to his girlfriend and family as well as the drama of Doc's future death, which may be preventable.

The story structure is impressive in other ways. The film has three tense action sequences equally spaced throughout at the beginning (the terrorist attack), middle (Marty evades Biff on a skateboard) and end (the climactic Clock tower set-piece). The final action scene, all relentlessly counting down to the moment that the lightning will hit the clock tower is undoubtedly one of the greatest action sequences committed to film. I'm fond of scenes within movies that have a beginning, middle and an end in their own right (see Sneakers or Inglorious Basterds) which is how this sequence plays out; the objective is stated and the characters put in motion, then everything goes wrong, and finally events are dramatically resolved.

Then there's the four major climaxes which resolves the major plot points; George knocking out Biff (defeating the adversary), George kissing Lorraine (finally gaining his confidence and saving Marty and his future siblings), Johnny B Goode (which has Marty achieve his ambition of playing the high school dance..he's still too loud of course). The Johnny B Goode sequence also serves as a light-hearted celebration of life; an emotional release after the tension of the previous two scenes. And then there's aforementioned Clocktower sequence.

Let's not forget the casting either. A thought occurred when watching it this time that Back To The Future might just well be the best Pixar movie Pixar never made. The leading animation studio are well known for making buddy movies, whether it's Cars, Toy Story, Monsters Inc. or Finding Nemo. Here we have the flawless teaming of Michael J Fox as Marty and Christopher Lloyd as Doc Brown. Both performers walk the delicate line of delivering characters that are both broadly comic and dramatically grounded. They're both extremely talented comedy actors with an unnerving sense of comic timing. A confused stare from Fox or a bewildered glance from Lloyd is all it takes to raise a laugh. Together they're remarkable.

The entire supporting cast are suburb too. Lea Thompson bounces back and forth between naive and seductress effortlessly, and Crispin Glover (barely containable on set, apparently) is a brilliant dweeb as George. I could go on, but I must mention Claudia Wells as Marty's girl friend Jennifer who is much more effective in the role, and is much more beautiful, than her sequels replacement Elizabeth Shue. Sorry Liz.

All the technical aspects are perfect too. Dean Cundy's photography, is sharp and colourful while Lawrence G Paull's production design is simple, unfussy and iconic.
ILM deliver some vintage effects that deliver a punch, the choice of songs (The Power Of Love, Earth Angel, etc) compliment the scenes perfectly and composer Alan (Predator) Silvestri delivers a classic, career best score.

Director Robert Zemekis has total control over the entire piece. Like fellow director Rob Reiner, he's a master of lots of different genres and is able to use an almost invisible, unshowy directing style which focuses in putting storytelling first. Zemekis interprets great script moments into classic visual moments that otherwise might not exist without his presence (like Strickland's and Marty's noses touching following a school confrontation, or the shocked look of Marty peering over Biff's shoulder). This being a comedy-centric adventure, Zemekis demonstrates his understanding of verbal and physical comedy. Like comedy maestro director John Landis, he's confident enough to pull back the camera and let the actors deliver their hilarious line deliveries or excellently timed pratfalls, without intrusive editing or camera movement ruining the moment.

So to summarise, a perfect movie going experience, one made all the better by a superb restoration and a great digital cinema presentation. If you haven't seen Back To The Future, please do so. If you haven't seen it in a while, check it out again. If you have kids, get them to see it. They'll love it. They don't make 'em like this anymore, but then again, they never did.

Not As Hexed As You've Been Led To Believe

Some films squander their potential so much that when they're finally released into cinemas they're torn apart by critics and ignored at the box office. These films might not necessarily be outright awful...but given the resources and talent involved there was much greater expectation for a higher quality movie. Before the film's release there is usually talk of firings, script re-writes on set, re-shoots and studio interference. Some of those movies that spring to mind are Alexander, Hudson Hawk, Howard The Duck, Cutthroat Island, LXG, Pluto Nash, etc. These films are big budget, fairly unsual in their premises (mostly) and frequently some of the biggest flops of all time.

Well Jonah Hex is another. It has a solid production pedigree being directed by Kung Fu Panda's Jimmy Taylor, written by Crank's Neveldine & Taylor and scored by metal band Mastodon. On the acting front it's even more impressive with Josh Brolin in the lead role, smouldering Megan Fox as his female lead, Malkovich as the big bad, a charming Fassbender as his henchman, and solid turns from Will Arnett and Aiden Quinn. It looks good (on a $50 million budget), the effects do a decent enough job and the story zips along with incident in a comprehensible manner (think The Crow meets Wild Wild West starring an undead Clint.) And the critics savaged it with one star reviews and audiences stayed away in droves (just $10 million in worldwide receipts.)

But Jonah Hex is fast, fun, supernatural, action-adventure western. And that's a fact! Hayward does a solid job (it's in no way Roger Christian / Battlefield Eath bad), the script might be shallow and dumb (but would you expect any different from the Crank boys) and the cast largely great (apart from Wes Bentley who can be relied upon to be shit, always.) The sizzling Megan Fox, although shoehorned into the story, shows she may indeed have the acting chops to succeed in the acting business (perhaps maturing from eyecandy into serious actress the way the similarly gorgeous Jennifer Connolly did years ago....or maybe not.)

Don't get me wrong, this is no masterpiece. But it's definetely a Friday night beer and popcorn movie that you won't be bitching about afterwards. Critics! Just who do they think they are...

This Will Be A Day Long Remembered...

Being a movie fan I can remember clearly the days I went to see landmark movies. I can remember when our family got our first video recorder (a Betamax!), my first VHS player, my first widescreen VHS movie, my first DVD player, etc. And now another landmark day has arrived; I no longer have a VHS player in the house...and in it's place a Blu Ray player has arrived!

And very nice it is too. To all those naysayers who claim they can't tell the difference in quality I laugh at them, belly clutched, with disbelief and dismay. The difference between regular DVD and Blue Ray is astonishing...especially if you watch the right movie.

With modern movies (say the last 5 to 10 years) they nearly always look fantastic in high definition, unless they've deliberately shot on a low grade or grainy film stock. With older movies it depends on whether the film has been restored and to the level of quality of that digital restoration. If no maintenance work has been done on the print the film can look little better than it's low definition DVD version (T2 is a good HD example). If the restoration has been misjudged then the images can have a distracting stillness to them (the grain is frozen in time), the contrast can be too extreme (with bright lights and extreme shadows enveloping too many details that were there originally. And digital noise reduction techniques can cause actors skin to look unnaturally smooth and waxy (see Star Trek V.)

On the flip side are old movies that look like they were filmed yesterday thanks to their stunning transfers to Blu Ray. Star Trek - The Motion Picture, 2001 - A Space Odyssey, Blade Runner and The Thing all look astonishing in the new format. In fact when I watched them it was like watching a brand new movie. Or it's like a short sighted person finally being given spectacles for the very first time...the image no longer looks ambiguous and fuzzy, but instead sharp and detailed. The Motion Picture I always felt was a dull, grey, grubby movie. In it's cleaned up state it's actually sharp as a razor and amazingly colourful...it's just that home technology up until now has been inadequate to capture the varied and subtle colour pallet the film used.

So count me happy as Larry. All I gotta do now is bu a bigger TV. Or maybe a projector...

2010 TV Season - The New Pilots

September and October traditionally is the start of the new TV season in the good ol' U.S. of A, and 2010 is no different. Since many shows have finished their runs last season (24, Lost, FlashForward, Dollhouse) the American networks have produced a selection of new dramas and comedies that they hope will catch on and become the next best thing. No wanting to miss out on the next Lost or 24, I have tried a few of these new pilot episodes. As an indicator of success I've added a rating out of five next to each review. The higher the rating the greater chance I'll stick with the new series, with a '3' being a pass grade:-

1/ Undercovers - A new spy series written and directed by Alias/Lost creator JJ Abrams. Basically it's a spy version of Hart to Hart. The scale is huge and the stars are attractive (especially Gugu Mbatha-Raw, a graceful Brit beauty doing a flawless Yank accent)but it's as boring as hell. Charming, fluffy and forgettable, this is a new series with a very high pedigree but the least promise. 1/5

2/ Shit My Dad Says! - A new family sitcom starring the legend that is William Shatner. The Shat is on top grumpy, curmudgeonly form and the supporting cast have energy too. It's directed by the chap that oversaw most of the Friends episodes so it has a similar sitcom tone and sence of comic timing. Quite amusing too if I must say. 3/5

3/ Boardwalk Empire - A period gangster epic written by the guy who created The Sopranos (generally considered one of the best TV series ever made) and produced by Martin Scorsese (generally considered one of the best American directors ever). This is worthy, high calibre stuff with a big budget, mature tone, rich look and classy performances. It's all a touch flat for my tastes though . 2/5

4/ Nikita - A remake/sequel to the established story of La Femme Nikita. Sophisticated and Lethal Maggie Q is fine in the lead role with strong support from the feisty and cute Lyndsy Fonseca, frowning Shane West, sleazy Xander Berkeley, manipulative Melinda Clarke and the irritating Aaron Stanford. As a premise it's very generic, recalling Alias, but the characters have potential. 3.5/5

5/ Outsourced - A new sitcom based in an Indian call centre. Take an unfunny script and combine it with a group of actors that are either miscast or not trying and you have a series that should be avoided at all costs. It's a shame as it's very difficult to get Americans to watch series that don't take place in the homeland. 0/5



6/ No Ordinary Family - Basically The Incredibles in a live action, serialized TV drama. It's light and fluffy and made for all the family, and in that respect it's just dandy. Obviously Brad Bird's movie did it first and far better and it's a little too predictable for it's own good. But the whole cast, including Michael Chiklis and Julie Benz, are fun and likable. 2.5/5

7/ Hawaii Five O - A reimagining of the classic 70's show. Bullshit. Utter bullshit. The pilot is directed with brainless verve by Len Wiseman, written with brainless zeal by 24's Peter M Lenkov and developed with brainless enthusiasm by Transformer's Orci and Kurtzman. A shallow, flash and charmless action show. The team are a varied bunch; Alex O'Loughlin is a arsy lunk in the lead, Danial Dae Kim is dull, Grace Park is dull but very purty, while only Scott Caan, reprising his argumentative sidekick role from the Ocean's trilogy comes off with any credit at all. 1.5/5

8/ Modern Family - Now in it's second season this is a faux-documentary sitcom showing the lives of three interconnected families. Despite it winning the comedy series Emmy this year, it's not half as witty as it thinks it is. Similar in style to 30 Rock, but lacking that classic's irreverant, surreal charm. 1.5/5

9/ Eastbound and Down - Produced by Adam McKay and Will Ferrell and created by Observe and Report's Jody Hill, this stars Pineapple Express' Danny McBride, as a fallen sports hero forced to seek work as a P.E. teacher in his childhood town. The main character is a big headed, arrogant cock but McBride makes him the right side of likable (only just though.) And this being a cable show there's tons of swearing. Amusing. 3/5

10/ The Event - Either this years Lost or this years FlashForward. A worldwide set drama with an eclectic (but dull) ensemble that slowly unravels a science fiction/fantasy plot over the course of the series. Story wise this has got off to an intriguing start. But it will have to maintain the excitement regarding the mystery and make the characters more appealing if I'm to continue watching it. 3.5/5



Most of the returning shows from last season have got off to strong starts (Castle, Stargate Universe, The Cleveland Show, Fringe, 30 Rock) resolving their cliffhangers from last year. There's a few shows that will be returning in the new year like V and Spartacus while Caprica and Human Target will be commencing in the next few weeks.

However it AMC's adaptation of the comic book The Walking Dead that has the most potential. If you'd have said Frank Darabont were directing a TV show, I'd watch it. Yes, even if it were Glee. But he's written and directed this zombie series which debuts at Halloween. None of this years pilots has knocked my socks off but here's hoping that Darabont and his zombie horde deliver the goods.

Air Bent

I used to get excited about M Night Shyamalan movies. But then I experienced The Happening and all that changed. The appalling artistic disaster of that movie is down to one of two things; either Shyamalan had completely lost his mojo (in a Carpenter/Landis manner) or Twentieth Century Fox (by far the worst Hollywood studio) had meddled with the production to a fatal point.

Judging by Shyamalan's latest movie The Last Airbender (produced by Paramount Pictures) it turns out it was a little of both. This adaptation of Nickelodeon's Manga animated fantasy series Avatar: The Last Airbender isn't quite the return to form I was hoping for, but it's still a considerable improvement from his last film. Of course Airbender has been fashionably ripped to shreds by critics but, on balance, they're being far to harsh on what is an acceptably entertaining orient-styled fantasy.

The critic have focused on two areas; the script and the acting. To be honest I think the performances are mostly pretty solid. If your familiar with M Night's other stuff, you'll still expect that restrained acting style...but there's little of that stilted blankness that consumed Whalberg and Dechenal. Daily Show comedian Aasif Mandvi has also received poor grades for overacting, but that's inaccurate too. His performance is certainly more energetic than his more reserved co-stars, but it's no played for laughs and is quite convincing in the role. The only performance that suck is Noah Ringer as Aang, the Airbender himself. When he keeps his mouth shut he's perfect, vulnerable yet determined, innocent yet wise, and I can see in his expressive big, brown eyes why he was cast. But when the poor lad open his mouth he's nearly as wooded as Jake 'Mannequin Skywalker' Lloyd...but not quite.

As for the script this is Airbender's main failing. The dialogue is atrocious with the actors struggling to make it sound natural and coherent. The storytelling is lazy with large sections being devoted to exposition when a flashback or a dramatically engaging, visual realisation would have worked better. This is often a manga storytelling technique the film too often falls back on (despite its manga roots). And finally, this is obviously being set up as a trilogy (with Aang only mastering two of the four elements) and so the movies feels incomplete as a self-contained narrative.

But there's much to enjoy. There's some great effects from ILM which top their work on Iron Man 2 (although ILM work has an unmistakable CGI sheen to them, that competitors WETA have largely eliminated). Shyamalan's trademark long-duration cuts are a revelation in action sequences; fights are beautifully choreographed and framed. The long takes mean the audience always understands the geography of the action, allows us to savor the stunt work and effects and helps draw the viewer in (as quick cuts can be distracting). The oriental location work gives a fresh, distinctive look to a summer blockbuster and the photography is rich and lush (it's Shyamalan's biggest budget film and it shows as well).

So a mixed bag then resulting in a middling movie experience. But when compared to other middling 2010 blockbusters (Robin Hood, Prince Of Persia, The A-Team) at least Airbender is trying to do something a bit different (even if it's not doing it quite as well as the competition).

Finally, for British audiences, there's an issue that was highlighted when the trailer ran in theatres. The word bender. Yes, that word which is a derogatory slur meaning 'homosexual' forms part of the title and is frequently used in the film to describe individuals who can telepathically manipulate earth, water, fire and air.
But if you're British, be prepared to giggle when characters stoically proclaim themselves benders. Snigger!!! There...you see....