This Means Whore

After proving to the world that he could do a serious science fiction drama containing action sequences with wight and consequence, director McG returns to his shallow, vacuous roots with spy / rom com This Means War. The plot is predictably simple; best friends and fellow spies, the roguish and impulsive Chris Pine and mild mannered Brit Tom Hardy both fall for ‘girl next door’ Reece Witherspoon. Conveniently dumping common sense, the boys fight over the pointy chinned one using all the espionage resources at their disposal while the perky Miss Witherspoon, egged on by the lewd but humorous Chelsea Handler, seeks to bed them both.

More romantic comedy than action spy flick, This Means War is the lightest, fluffiest blockbuster you’re likely to see all year. McG return to his Charlie’s Angels style with a movie that’s cutting edge slick, visually sumptuous and stuffed with cool, popular tune-age. The shallowness is only heightened by the production design which seems to be set in the same fictional universe as Last Action Hero complete with a cathedral sized spy headquarters dipped in neon and gleaming gun-metal architecture.

The outcome of the plot can be anticipated from the moment all the characters are in play, the action is loud, forgettable and consequence free and the script severely lacking in the joke department. What the movie possesses in bucket loads is star appeal. Everybody earns their pay check delivering textbook example of what movie star charm can do to improve any movie, good or bad. Pine is Pine…charming, charismatic and cocky, Hardy is tough, mannered and sweet while Witherspoon is cute, bubbly and down to earth appealing.

This Means War is forgettable movie making by committee enlivened by three great movie stars.