Saturday, 13 February 2010

The Bees! What's Happening To The Bees? Anybody?!?



After the critical drubbing and behind the scenes controversy that had plagued Lady In The Water, I was keen for M Night Shyamalan to be seen to get back to top form (something I'd never felt he'd left in the first place, to be honest). The Happening sounded like the movie to do that; a horror, thriller with an A-list cast and important ecological message. Alas it was not to be as The Happening is a complete cluster fuck. Well, nearly.

It looks, plays, talks and feels like an M Night Shyamalan movie. Just less so. Visually the long takes are still in place...just less of them. There's less of the clever, inconspicuous compositions that inhabit his best work. The cinematography is strangely flat while James Newton Howard's score is his least effective of all the Shyamalan collaborations.

On a story level, you can see the cogs working, but it never achieves the subtlety of Unbreakable or The Village. Once again there's a story of faith, in this case of a society that's lost it's faith in science (thanks to it's own greed and arrogance) and of a couple that's lost faith in each other. There's some interesting subtext about communication, or lack of it, as presented in Zooey Deshenal's emotion suppressing girlfriend, the near mute little girl and the cottage rooms you can talk though via the connecting pipe. It's an interesting statement about how we can live together (man and woman / man and nature) if we're prepared to pay attention and communicate.

With so much at work under the surface, why doesn't it work? Well, there's a couple of reasons. It lacks momentum and tension...and both are faults of Shyamalan as writer and director. You never really feel like the cast are about to die. You never really believe in the 'cause' of threat (the wind or the trees) even though you're aware a threat exists. As a director, he never solves the problem of making the trees, the breeze and the grass menacing...or even when he does (like a rip in the roof of John Legozamo's ride) he doesn't milk the tension for all it's worth. Maybe it's studio interference, after all this is a Fox movie. Maybe they told him to dumb down the script and direction after the alleged pretentiousness of Lady In The Water.
Perhaps. But that doesn't really explain the next issue. The legendary issue.

Mark Whalberg is shit. Overwhelmingly awful. He's like an amateur who, never having an acting lesson in his life, can only project two emotions (concerned and confused)...and then only doing that extremely badly. It's like a car crash to watch, and on my initial viewing, couldn't quite comprehend what Whalberg was doing. His entire performance is delivered with a gasping, nasally, high pitched whine. Together with his furrowed brow... it's just embarrassingly uncomfortable to watch. But in moment's where he's required to be sincere (see the scene where he convinces the old lady he's not a thief) Whalberg hilariously descends into unintentional farce. He's really, really bad (which is unexpected after his scene stealing in The Departed)

If it was just Whalberg I'd pin the blame directly on him (he's bad in any leading man role anyway...see Planet of the Apes or The Italian Job). But Zooey Deschenal looks like she's giving Marky Mark a run for his money too. Her delivery is stilted and wooden...far from the likable, quirky actress we've come to know and love. It's like she knows her character is supposed to be bottled up emotionally, but has been on the piss the night before, and hasn't bothered to learn how to act that particular personality trait. Again, amateurish....but ugly and annoyingly so.

So if it's both of them, did Shyamalan direct them to act in such a misjudged way.? Was he just not into the whole affair, so gave up on his cast too?

At least he presents a few of knockout scenes in the early stages of the film as the 'attacks' take hold. The best of these, as construction workers plummet from a high rise building is 'classic' Shyamalan (long steady takes, building tension and the feeling of goosebumps as a character slowly realises the horror of what they're witnessing). But they're few and far between and often outweighed by misjudged scenes of attempted humour (Whalberg talking to a plastic house plant should be chucklesom but it backfires as the plant obviously has more acting credibility than the movie star).

A frustrating movie; you can see the intent and the signature storytelling devices in play, yet it frequently fails to work at all. As for Whalberg, he ought to stick to supporting roles. For all our sakes.

Snake Plissken Goes To Hollywood



Another month...another John Carpenter flick to rewatch. There's no way to talk about Escape From L.A. without talking about Carpenter's 1981 classic original Escape From New York. The sequel is practically a remake anyway, with the President's daughter standing in for the big man himself, Cuban freedom fighter Cuervo Jones replacing The Duke Of New York as the city ruler and an E.M.P aiming device now utilised as the reason for the urgent escape. Oh, and a manufactured virus replacing the explosive in the neck which forces anti-hero Snake Plissken to act on the government's behalf.

Given New York's limited budget, 15 years of technological advancement plus a much bigger budget should have made Escape From L.A. a bigger, more accomplished follow up, if not necessarily a better film. But it's not any of these things. In every possible way, the sequel is inferior to the superior original. Cinematographer Gary Kibbe's flat, insipid photography combined with Shirley Walker's misjudged score drains any of the atmosphere this film might have had. It's just a poorly strung together selection of wacky situations that Snake finds himself in. While they're all quite cool in their own way (Beverley Hills plastic surgery freaks/ the coliseum basketball game to-the-death/ surfing the tsunami through central L.A.) each scene is let down by shoddy acting (Cliff Robertson, Stacey Keach and George Corraface are poor substitutes for Lee Van Cleef, Donald Pleasence and Isaac Hayes), catatonic editing (will somebody wake me up after the motorcycle chase) and some of the worst effects in a recent mainstream film (the chopper and the nuclear sub look CGI...no attempts been made to make them appear, or move, realistically).

On the plus side...and it's a major plus...it has Kurt Russell returning as war hero/criminal Snake Plissken...one of the greatest characters ever to grace a movie screen. He might be channelling Eastwood, but who cares, because it's refreshing to see a character shoot first...and not give a shit (George Lucas, please take note).
Thanks to Russell we're able to navigate the choppy plot and arrive at the ballsy ending. A reworking of New York's downer twist, L.A. ups Snake's bluff to deliver catastophic global consequences. But the real beauty is...Snake still doesn't care!

Terribly flawed, predictably derivative and bordering on the amateurish Escape From L.A. isn't a Carpenter film to recommend. But the film contains enough barmy ideas, enough of Russell's legendary performance and a fraction of the style that is John Carpenter to make this a beer and popcorn, Friday night, escapist treat, once in a while.

Thursday, 11 February 2010

TV Round Up - February 2010



RETURNING SHOWS

BEING HUMAN

This continues to be the best written thing on television, picking up the the story where we left off at the end of the first season, as we follow the attempts of a werewolf, a vampire and a ghost (who co-habit), to lead a 'normal human' life. As before, the balance is beautifully maintained between humour, drama and horror. Story wise, writer Toby Whitehouse is exploring his mythology in much greater depth including the vampire society, the laws of the afterlife and the biology/psychology of werewolves. A must watch.

24



Kiefer Sutherland's long running, real-time, TV thriller hits it's 8th season with purpose, as it seems to have shaken off the bullshit factor of it's 5th and 6th year. The New York setting provides something fresh to look at, along with the swanky new C.T.U. headquarters (reminding me of the Hollywood police station in Last Action Hero). It's the same formula but it's still damn riveting. Hell, the formula is something to look forward to; who will be the traitor working inside C.T.U ? When will Jack go rogue? Which returning cast member will die brutally? At what point will the President's life be put at risk? Mint.

LOST



The mind fuck that is Lost has just returned for it's 6th and final season. Anyone expecting answers will find very few, but will instead be bombarded by a significant twist in the series storytelling format. After the cast detonated an atom bomb on the island (in the 5th season finale) in an attempt to reset 'time', and thus never go to the island in the first place, we're now faced with alternatives. Instead of having flashbacks (or flash forwards) to events off of the island, we now have two time lines; one is set on the island where the bomb didn't work. The flash forward replacement is an alternative reality where the Oceanic flight 831 doesn't crash on the island, showing what happened to our heroes if life had continued as normal.
Ahhhhh, my head!
Each season of Lost has a theme (The Others, The Hatch, Time Travel) and this season it seems to be the magical/ancient culture of the island. At least the question of what the smoke monster is has been answered. Now the question is 'who'. And 'why'.
Sob...

NEW SHOWS

HUMAN TARGET



These days most TV shows have adopted a serialised story-telling structure that plays out over a year, or several seasons. Also mainstream American TV has gained in integrity and intelligence causing many critics to dub the last decade as a 'golden age' of TV. But if you yearn for the self-enclosed plots and carefree dumbness of 80's television (The Fall Guy/ The A-Team) then you might want to check out Human Target. It's produced by McG, he of fun-but-fluff 'Chuck' and uber cinematic bullshit Charlies Angels. And it's damned good throwaway fun. Essentially Mark Valley (Fringe guest star) plays a bodyguard for hire. His business is run by the quippy Chi McBride and he's frequently helped out by shady underworld-type Jackie Earl Haley. Each episode is high concept, bringing a cute leading lady for the leading man to banter with.
Undemanding tosh with the comfort of a reset switch at the end of each episode. Now where did I but my 80's Knight Rider DVDs ?

ARCHER



A new animated comedy from MTV, Archer follows the misadventures of Sterling Archer, a James Bond wannabe; an overconfident, under-experienced stud with mother issues. It's essentially an office sitcom with espionage overtones. The flash-style animation looks good and the voice cast are excellent. It's not-gut bustingly funny but is, at least, mildly diverting humour.

SPARTACUS: BLOOD & SAND



Now this is more like it. Produced by Zena's Sam Raimi and Robert Tapart from their New Zealand stronghold (away from the Hollywood censor's prying eyes) comes a retelling of the classic Spartacus story. Imaging telling the Gladiator movie in the style of the 300 movie. Ok? Then make it 20 times more violent. Add in tons of swearing (cunt, cock, etc)...as much as you can cram in, in fact, and liberal amounts of shagging and titties. Sound good?
It is. The cast are a bit stoic, apart from slave owners John Hannah and Lucy Lawless, but frankly that's not why I'm watching this ludicrously over the top drama. Off with his head Centurion!

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

I Had The Shirt For It...But You F**ked It Up!



There's something special about Schwarzenegger's early back catalogue. From Commando through to Red Heat, that period brought a new, high concept, medium budgeted, no-brain action-fest from the Govinator every year, without fail. In the midst of this, Arnie gave us 1987's The Running Man, based on a short Stephen King story. A high concept science fiction tale set in a totalitarian police state, Ahnuld's cop is imprisoned for disobeying orders. When the lunk escapes, he's swiftly captured and forced to participate in the game show of the title; a televised gladiatorial event designed to empty the prisons of scum while keeping the increasingly unrestful population off the streets. Arnie, of course, gets mad.

On the downside, The Running Man, always looked and felt a bit 'basic'; bland cinematography, cheap, uninspired sets, and a director (in Starsky and Hutch's Paul Michael Glaser)lacking in imagination.

Fortunately it's nowhere near enough to scupper a fast moving story, great one liners, Haroild Faltermeyers great 80's score and some varied and superbly staged action sequences. It's the broad character stuff that really brings this to life whether it be Richard Dawson's charismatic but ruthless game show host, Maria Conchita Alonso's feisty latino sidekick or the array of 'stalkers' sent to hunt Arnie down (I wonder what Senator Jesse Ventura thinks of this now as his performance as the posturing, yet cowardly stalker, Captain Freedom, is a spot on comedy showcase for his talents).

There's a nice bit of social satire running through this about where future TV's morality might be heading (although in the case of fake TV show 'Climbing For Dollars', I swear the Japanese have already got there). It's a bit dated now, on virtually every level, from the cheesy 80's glam rock that adorns the end-titles to the baggy, late 80's fashions. But it's sooooo easy to watch and re-watch The Running Man that all criticisms are forgiven. Even the yellow spandex.

Infestation Not Causing Any Tremors



Infestation is a competently directed, adequately produced comedy horror that's obviously shot on the streets of Vancouver. As such it often has the feeling of a U.S. TV show...slick but not very cinematic. It stars Chris Marquette as a standard issue geek/slacker who hates his boring office job and has issues with his ex-military father, a cool Ray Wise. After arriving at work and immediately being sacked, he. and everybody else in the world fall unconscious...only to awake to find aggressive giant bugs over-running the cities.

This falls into the category of "nice try...but not good enough". It wants to be an all round comedy horror like Tremors or Eight Legged Freaks...movies that balanced the thrills with great characters and smart humor. But Infestation's thrills aren't big enough. The cast aren't memorable enough and the humour just doesn't quite hit the mark...although you can see it's trying really really hard. This gets points for being a competent, well meaning horror movie (with bonus points for Ray Wise, the legend that is). But it's a bit like eating a McDonalds; it might taste OK at the time...but it doesn't taste like meat, no matter how hard the scary Ronald McClown might be trying to convince you otherwise.

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

I Prophesize A Riot



With Legion, a tale of a war in heaven spilling over onto Earth, about to be unleashed on the world, I'd thought I'd check out a similar story in 1995's The Prophecy. Directed by Highlander writer/produced Gregory Widen, it has 'bad' angel Gabriel (Christopher Walken) seek out the most evil human soul on Earth, to tip the scales in his favor, in a millennia old war that rages in heaven. Fortunately, 'good' angel hides the recently departed soul in a child and then it's up to priest-turned-cop Elias Koteas and school teacher Virgina Madsen to keep the child from Walken's clutches.

While I have fond memories of The Prophecy, I had a recollection that it was a little unimaginative and dull in comparison with Widen's original Highlander movie. Not so in actuality, as it's a strongly directed supernatural hide and seek movie with a well constructed mythology and serious tone. The cast are strong, but Walken is tremendous as the driven archangel, jealous that God has turned away from angel-kind to favor His human creations. There's a nice line in humour provided by the unfortunate sidekicks that Walken manipulated into driving him around and Viggo Mortensen pops up as Satan, determined to have an influence on the heavenly conflict.

Simple in story but weighty in themes and myth, small in scale but epic in imagination, it's a shame that Widen never directed anything else as the guy definitely had a flair for it.

Monday, 1 February 2010

Vernon Wells: 80's Fashion Icon



Forget Tango & Cash and Passenger 57. They may seem like the ultimate in Bullshit Action Movies, but they're not. After Rambo II pretty much invented the plotles, one man army destroctofest, it was up to Schwarzenegger's 1985 extravaganza Commando to bullshit it up. And, by golly, does it dumb it down in such a dizzyingly entertaining manner that it's easy to maintain this is still king of the hill. Here's a few reasons why:-

1/ The pre-title assassination montage.
2/ The title sequence including parent/child bonding, chopping trees and eating questionable sandwiches.
3/ Major General Franklin Kirby, doing the Richard Crenna role of bigging Arnie up, just in case we never got what a bad-ass he is.
4/ Arnie smelling the baddies coming...downwind.
5/ Vernon Well's memorable bad guy, Bennett.
6/ Arnie's digital watch...counting the seconds down in mega-loud "24"-style bleeping.
7/ Rae Dawn Chong's exasperated Kate Capshaw impression. Plus some great one-liner reaction shots.
8/ Vernon Well's camp, leather trousers.
9/ "Don't disturb my friend. He's DEAD tired".
10/ Vernon Well's camp moustache.
11/ The classic blooper...the yellow Porche is written off on the drivers side...yet appears unscratched moments later!
12/ Little Alyssa Milano, she to be in TV's Charmed as an adult actress, as Chenny (er, Jenny).
13/ Vernon Well's pot belly.
14/ "You fuckin' whore".
15/ James Horner's definitive action score (see 48 Hrs, Gorky Park, Red Heat for inferior derivatives).
16/ "Fuck you asshole"...."No, fuck YOU asshole!"
17/ Vernon Well's weedy arms.
18/ John F Leonetti's reliably, gritty photography.
19/ "Attention all units, emergency on theater level, suspect six foot two, brown hair. He's one gigantic motherfucker".
20/ Vernon Well's camp, string vest.
21/ Wow! It's been so long since I've seen this that there's actually scenes of character development, as Arnie explains his crap history as a father for Chenny, to a bewildered Rae Dawn Chong.
22/ The tool shed massacre in the directors cut, with glorious extra gore. 56 additional seconds are in the original cinema release (and the Aussie DVD).
23/ Hey, isn't that Bill Paxton in a small role as a navel radio operator!
24/ "Let off some steam Bennett".