Forget Tango & Cash and Passenger 57. They may seem like the ultimate in Bullshit Action Movies, but they're not. After Rambo II pretty much invented the plotles, one man army destroctofest, it was up to Schwarzenegger's 1985 extravaganza Commando to bullshit it up. And, by golly, does it dumb it down in such a dizzyingly entertaining manner that it's easy to maintain this is still king of the hill. Here's a few reasons why:-
1/ The pre-title assassination montage.
2/ The title sequence including parent/child bonding, chopping trees and eating questionable sandwiches.
3/ Major General Franklin Kirby, doing the Richard Crenna role of bigging Arnie up, just in case we never got what a bad-ass he is.
4/ Arnie smelling the baddies coming...downwind.
5/ Vernon Well's memorable bad guy, Bennett.
6/ Arnie's digital watch...counting the seconds down in mega-loud "24"-style bleeping.
7/ Rae Dawn Chong's exasperated Kate Capshaw impression. Plus some great one-liner reaction shots.
8/ Vernon Well's camp, leather trousers.
9/ "Don't disturb my friend. He's DEAD tired".
10/ Vernon Well's camp moustache.
11/ The classic blooper...the yellow Porche is written off on the drivers side...yet appears unscratched moments later!
12/ Little Alyssa Milano, she to be in TV's Charmed as an adult actress, as Chenny (er, Jenny).
13/ Vernon Well's pot belly.
14/ "You fuckin' whore".
15/ James Horner's definitive action score (see 48 Hrs, Gorky Park, Red Heat for inferior derivatives).
16/ "Fuck you asshole"...."No, fuck YOU asshole!"
17/ Vernon Well's weedy arms.
18/ John F Leonetti's reliably, gritty photography.
19/ "Attention all units, emergency on theater level, suspect six foot two, brown hair. He's one gigantic motherfucker".
20/ Vernon Well's camp, string vest.
21/ Wow! It's been so long since I've seen this that there's actually scenes of character development, as Arnie explains his crap history as a father for Chenny, to a bewildered Rae Dawn Chong.
22/ The tool shed massacre in the directors cut, with glorious extra gore. 56 additional seconds are in the original cinema release (and the Aussie DVD).
23/ Hey, isn't that Bill Paxton in a small role as a navel radio operator!
24/ "Let off some steam Bennett".
2 comments:
John Vernon?? I think you mean Vernon Wells. Dean Wormer ain't in this is he?
Commando's mint. Utter bollocks of the highest order but very very entertaining. Arnie delivers killer blows and killer one liners.
Thank you. One of those names I keep getting mixed up. Corrected now.
It's directed with zero flair and sophistication. But it's tons of fun and edited with an appreciation for comic timing.
All hail Vernon Wells!
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