Morgan Spurlock & The Temple Of Geek

Documentary film maker Morgan Spurlock steps behind the camera for his latest project, Comic Con Episode IV: A New Hope which takes us behind the scenes on the biggest annual, pop culture event on the planet. This is an affectionate documentary exploring the history, inner workings and appeal of the San Diego Comic Convention from the view points of aspiring comic artists, toy collectors, young geek lovers, cosplay enthusiasts and comic traders who have been there since the cons humble, mid-70’s beginnings.

It’s a fascinating peek into the Mecca of geek culture with insights from hardcore geek legends like Joss Whedon, Eli Roth, Kevin Smith and Stan Lee. This is warm and welcoming movie that’s perhaps aimed at the converted fan boy first and foremost but it’s infectious nature means it’s an open invitation for anybody who’s curious about crossing the nerd threshold.

Piranha: A Movie About Tits, Made By Tits

Being the director of the low-budget, trashy Feast franchise, director John Gulager seemed like the ideal choice to take of the rebooted Piranha series following the departure of the ace Alexandre Aja. Alas that was not the case as Piranha 3DD (as the title suggests there are lots more boobs) misses the point of exploitation films by having the sequel lack the necessary fun and silliness to qualify. The sequel feels smaller and less imaginative from the get go and is lumbered with a dire, tired script which never really gets going. Although a few exploitation moments are littered throughout the first hour (sex/severed penis/loads of titties) it lacks the self aware ridiculousness that makes real exploitation films irresistible.

It’s only in the last 15-20 minutes in a manic piranha strewn climax does the film finally kick into gear with a hilarious display of self parody, ultra-violence, outrageousness, bad taste and, most importantly, imagination. David Hasselhoff is brilliant sending himself up in a brief cameo while Ving Rhames kicks ass by stealing from Rose McGowen in Planet Terror.

Mostly boring that worth a view on DVD only so you can skip through to the final act.

The Delta Force - Terrorist Boogaloo

Cannon Films produced an awful lot of crap in the mid to late 80’s including Stallone’s Over The Top, Superman IV The Quest For Peace and Breakdance 2 Electric Boogaloo, but they did at least manage to deliver a few bullshit gems in their time as a production powerhouse. One of the best of these is The Delta Force, directed by Cannon’s very own Menachem Golan and served as a star vehicle for martial arts action star Chuck Norris.

The Delta Force is an extremely schizophrenic film, but at least both its halves are very good at what they’re doing (even if they don’t fuse together into a cohesive whole.)

The first half of the film is dominated by a solid airplane hostage drama that riffs on airplane disaster movies of the past (as signalled with the inclusion of Shelley Winters and George Kennedy in the group that are captured.) This section is often quite intense, serious in tone, has stong wrought performances and explores religious intolerance and fundamentalist politics along side the terrorism.

The other half of the film which takes over in the second hour is a bullshit action, military men-on-a-mission plot as Chuck and friends attempt to rescue the hostages. This is filled with Bond-like gadgets, deadpan one liners, unprompted heroic back-slapping and chuck portrayed as an indestructible and universally adored leader. And it’s great too; exciting, big scale gunfights, hand to hand combat and impressive, daring, done-for-real stunt work.

Add to that the great Lee Marvin, some gritty international locations and one of the best action scores on the planet courtesy of Alan Silvestri and you’ve got a mighty fine action movie. If only those two different halves were merged more effectively.

Deputy Dawg-O-Cop

By the time the third, ill-advised RoboCop feature was released in 1993, virtually everything that made Paul Verhoevan’s classic original so unique had evaporated. The tongue-in-cheek satire was pretty much gone, the ultra-violence had been distilled down to a kid-friendly PG-13 rating and the main cast had either jumped ship or were killed off.

Fred (Monster Squad) Dekker directs RoboCop 3 with a solid, but grubby, mid-80’s sensibility but can’t overcome a terrible, poorly constructed script. Characters disappear for long chunks of the narrative (Jill Hennessy’s robo-technician), some are cut off mid-story when no longer required (Nancy Allen’s embattled cop Lewis), some characters are great but pointless (Bradley Whitford’s asshole OCP rep) and RoboCop himself feels like a side character in his own movie. If there’s any narrative through line it’s the focus on Remy Ryan’s pre-teen hacker which truly drags the franchise irredeemably down to kiddie-flick level. The story lacks focus as it lops from a Magnificent Seven style uprising plot to a sub plot involving corporate takeover, all the wit, cleverness, hardcore action has gone and the special effects, particularly RoboCop on jetback, are staggeringly incompetent At least Basil Poledouris returns to compose the score.

The very worst thing about RoboCop 3 is RoboCop himself with Robert John Burke taking over from the absent Peter Weller. It takes over 15 minutes for the title character to appear in his own movie and when he does he speaks with the voice of 60’s animated character Deputy Dawg. It’s unintentionally hilarious and the main reason this film has remain unwatchable for nearly two decades.

When The Vampire (Genre) Rose From The Grave

Blade is an important movie for me as it was the moment in pop culture that I started liking vampires. Prior to that, the blood sucking undead were romantic figures, firmly locked in an , outdated gothic past or portrayed as a primitive unsophisticated underclass of society. Finally Blade came along and vampires felt like they finally could exist in the modern world; they went to raves, they owned real estate, they had a governing body and could now be killed with technologies like ultra-violent lamps, garlic-filled bullet firing automatic weapons and blood coagulant projectiles.

The look of the vampire film was thankfully updated too thanks to director Stephen Norrington who films the stark, contemporary steel and concrete production with a glossy, deep focus sheen. The score is moody, the techno score ear-opening amazing (the opening club scene is game-chantingly great), the editing restrained, the image compositions embrace negative space and it admirably has the atmosphere of a John Carpenter film. On top of this Wesley Snipes is cool and magnetic as the title character with Kris Kristopherson giving gruff, laid back support as his partner Whistler and Stephen Dorff bringing on the menace as the young upstart villain.

Blade is wonderful. Apart from a familiar plot and some appalling CGI at the climax, Blade rarely puts a step wrong.

Highschool Reunion Of The Dead

There are now hundreds of of cheap ass Zombie films doing the rounds thanks to the enthusiasm of amateur make-up effects enthusiasts and virgin film directors trying their hand at the horror genre. It’s a wonder there’s an original story left to tell. Fortunately DeadHeads has enough wit and heart to rise above the mediocre crowd to deliver a new take on zombie mythology. In it, a young love struck man attempts to journey cross-country to see his old school sweetheart where he plans to propose, all during a spreading zombie apocalypse. The big difference is that he, and his travelling companion, are zombies themselves although they still have their reasoning and humanity intact.

DeadHeads, while not as tight or constantly amusing as you might hope, is a funny, sweet love story with healthy amounts of low-budget gore, sparky characters, clever situations and likable performances. Worth a watch, it’s best moments belong to Benjamin Webster’s trigger happy red neck like his classic line “Fe Fi Fo Fuck, get in the back of my fucking truck!” Class.

Pumping Iron Giants

Arnold Schwarzenegger is a very impressive man have got to the highest level in three different walks of life. Recently in politics he was the two term Governor of California (the biggest state in the USA and the highest American office the non-USA born Arnie can hold.) In the early 1990’s he was the biggest movie star in the world with hits like Twins, Kindergarten Cop and Terminator 2. And before both those achievements he was a world class bodybuilder having won the elite Mr Olympia title seven times. The 1977 documentary Pumping Iron records the build up to both the amateur Mr Universe contest and the professional Mr Olympia contest giving an insight into the most narcissistic sport in the world.

It’s a fascinating exploration into the sport of bodybuilding and the focus, ambition, commitment and endurance needed to succeed at such a high level. We’re also introduced to the key players at each event and it’s interesting the range of characters the sport attracts. Most entertaining is the footage of Schwarzenegger at the top of his game; confident, relaxed, hard-working and most interestingly, intent on playing mind games with his fellow competitors…particularly the quiet Lou Ferrigno. Excellent stuff.