Death In Three Dimensions

The Final Destination is the forth in the horror franchise and the second to be helmed by David R Ellis (who directed Part 2 and Snakes on a Plane). Rather like Part 3, this is the dictionary definition of horror franchise by numbers. There's no cleverness or variation in the script structure from previous installments. Nothing is added to the franchise mythology. Just teens surviving slaughter due to mysterious preminition...then brutal death in the order they should have died originally.

While the deaths aren't as playful or as drawn out as Part 2, my favorite of the series, they are gory, inventive and very very violent. Nobody in the cast can fill the lovliness vacated by The Winstead in Part 3. So you have Bobby Campo (doing a dull James Franco impression), the marvelously wooden Shantel VanSanten as his girlfriend and a Sean William Scott/Stiffler-esque performance from Nick Zano.

This does exactly what it says on the tin. It gains points for pushing the death scenes to the fore in glorious digital 3D...as well as the best opening title sequence of the year as we see slow motion, X-ray versions of the previous franchise deaths. Nice.

Chase Me, Tommy, Chase Me!

Catch Me If You Can is one of Steven Spielberg's lighter efforts from the early part of the decade. It's his first collaboration with Titanic megastar Leonardo DiCaprio (solid as usual) and a second partnership with Tom Hanks (having fun with a workahloic character piece). Its fast, fun , frothy and quite unlike anything else Spielberg had done at this point (although why he did The Terminal frustrates me, even now).

Spielberg's doing a bit of a Tarantinio with his casting here. On one hand he's given established actors a second shot; Martin Sheen and a career best performance from an amazing Christopher Walken. He's also cast a lot of up an coming youngsters; Amy Adams (Doubt), Jennifer Ganer (Alias), Sarah Lancaster (Chuck), Ellen Pompeo (Greys Anatomy), Amy Acker (Angel) and Elizabeth Banks (Zack & Miri).

A minor work from the master, but still accomplished and entertaining.

Mad Matt and the Ironclad Battleship of Doom

These days, no matter how good, some movies are not going to be that well received. In Sahara's case it might be the combination of putting Mad Matthew McConaughay as the lead in a big budget action role and of making it a CG-less, old fashioned action adventure. Sahara, adapted from the Clive Cussler novel featuring adventurer/research Dirk Pitt, is just that. But that's what makes it such a great movie.

McConaughay is teamed with Steve Zahn in an inspired teaming. It's this banter with each other and their colleagues which is the heart of the movie. There's an unspoke ease in their partnership as they plow headlong into unexpected situations, with cool heads and an almost telepathic understanding of each others way of thinking, unphased by danger. The actors and the characters seem to have fun with their way of life even if it is extremely dangerous, and it shines onscreen. A super-sexy Penelope Cruz, Rain Wilson, William H Macy and Delroy Lindo join in the fun (it has an ensemble feel rather than as a star vehicle for Mad Matt)while Lambert Wilson and Lennie James make adequete bad guys.

Breck Eisner directs with a steady hand, favoring a thriller-ish old fashioned approach rather than the avid-fart approach to most contemorary action films. The action sequences are old school stunts rather than CGI orgies and it pays off; The punch ups are refreshingly martial arts free, the river chase a class act and the climax suitably epic. The photography is lush (Lean and Spielberg influence me-thinks), the production design grounded and textured; the waste disposal factory is the nearest you'll get to a Bond-villain's lair outside of a Bond film.

Clint Mansell's score elevates the whole enterprise with it's Bond-like wailing brass and strong heroic theme; when most composers are trying to do the electro-Hans Zimmer thing, here comes a reinterpretation of an old style and it works a treat. There's some high energy retro rock thrown into the mix when things are getting too serious which helps lighten the mood.

The whole thing feel;s like a combination of Raiders and Bond. There's the fun, yet serious thrillerish tone. There's the modern treasure hunting aspect (but far more interesting than the National Treasure flicks), and the global threat represented by a topical eco-disaster caused by greedy corporations.

It was obvious from the film's ending scenes, and from the opening title billking Sahara as a "Clive Custler Dirk Pitt Adventure", that the studio wanted to make a franchise out of this. Unfortunately that won't happen. Real shame that.

I Took The Red Pill (And Got High On The Matrix!)

The Matrix, directed by the Wachowski Brothers is now an established classic. It frequently turns up in Best Films of All Time compilations and it's Joss Whedons favorite film. I totally agree with those that hold that opinion. So why do I think it's so good?

1/ It blends complex concepts in an easy to understand story. So many movies have tried this and it's got mind-bendinly confusing for mass audiences (Dark City, I'm talking to you). Up until the Matrix, no one had figured out how to talk about complex philosophical topics like 'what is real?' and put it in the context of a relatively-simple to follow narrative. The Matrix's strategy was to introduce you to the story concepts very gradually, while referencing familar stories that covered similar ground (like Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz). Once they got the concept of the dream world communicated, the rest follows easily.

What's staggering is how many philosophical concepts are layered into the story. There's examination of the systems of control, perception of reality, destiny vs freewill, faith vs doubt and ignorance vs enlightenment.

There's also commentary on religion, sociology, politics, history and psychology.

2/ It takes Asian cinema to next level. The Wachowski's obviously have a love of cinema from Asian countries and have integrated several techniques and styles in the movie. First off, it is taking John Woo's balletic, slow-motion, two-handed gunplay up several rungs. By including slow motion acrobatics with the gunplay and by heightening the movements with the revolutionary special-effect of 'bullet time', the film-makers changed shoot 'em ups forever.
Then there's the use of wire work, rarely used in western films up until The Matrix, to allow the characters to perform superhuman moves. Martial arts, rather than bar brawling, is used as the signature fighting style... and it defines the movie. Western cinema (and myself) was reeling after these two action revolutions.
Finally, The Wachowski's direction is still and understated; prefering a longer, clear quality shot than lots of messy shorter ones....a trademark of Asian cinema, especially the horror movies.
So having these beautifully choreographed fights, enhanced with wire-work and bullet-time effects, and shown in all its beauty with perfectly composed long takes delivers a style of action that was new to world cinema.

3/ Sucessfully adapts Manga. Manga comic often create massively complicated far-future worlds that has really only been atempted in western cinema with the original Star Wars trilogy. The Matrix was to illustrate a future Earth society that was dominated by an agressive machine foe. These weren't simple nuts 'n' bolt terminator baddies but complex Squiddies and impossible high skyscrapers of sleeping human batteries. No one since has quite had the vision to pull off something this unique visually in science fiction.

4/ Modern myth. The story has a certain power because it adopts the very familiar narrative threads that define a myth. There's the hero from an unexceptional background that is destined to save the world, with the help of a love interest and a wise man, and who will have to sacrafice his life (and be resurrected) to achieve that goal.

5/ Uses Techno/dance. The Matrix was one of the first of a handful of films to successfully integrate dance music into an action film. Prior to that action was general accompanied by a traditional music score or with guitar-ridden rock songs. Starting with Mortal Kombat and improved by Blade, dance music made the action relentless and the movie hip. The Matrix perfected this with great, perfectly integrated tracks from Rob Dougan ,The Propellerheads and The Prodigy.

On top of that you have a top notch cast. Keanu Reeves is finally directed in a way that makes him credible in a non-valley dude persona. But its the Hugo Weaving and Laurence Fishburne that run away with the awards. Fishburn is magnetic and larger-than-life as Morphius, the father figure to Reeve's Neo. Hugo Weaving is miraculous as Agent Smith; all precisely delivered sentences and quirky pauses. It might be theatrical but it works within the film's context.

The FX are top notch, the photography ground-breakingly bleak (everybody copied the near-monotone look after this) and the production design magnificent. The matrix set stuff is brilliant in it's simplicity while the future stuff is impossibly detailed.

The ultimate praise for an action and special effects movie of this magnitude is the story and how its told. You can take out ALL of the action and all of the special effects in the production and you would still have a unique, facinating and entertaining film. That's something 1999's other fantasy epic, The Phantom Menace couldn't boast. And the great thing is, it works on so many levels, it has great broad appeal. If your thick...or just feeling lazy, you can watch a fast fun action movie. If you feel like stretching your noggin you can contemplate phillosophical issues until the cows come home. In fact, it's one of those rare works of art that is so detailed that you can find something new on every viewing that you didn't see before.
Joss Whedons favorite film of all time? Clever man.

The Phantom Gooberfish

With all the fuss surrounding the trailer/footage for James Cameron's Avatar recently, it reminded me of the pre-release hype surrounding George Lucas' return to the Star Wars universe with 1999's Episode I: The Phantom Menace. After all, both are intent on introducing revolutionary CGI to create a massively detailed outer-space environment as well as convincing CGI characters. I haven't seen Episode I for a while so I was intested as to whether my opinion of the film had risen or fallen in the intervening years.

Two things hit home immediately; the effects and the acting. First off the environments are utterly top notch with ritchly detailed interiors, exterior model shots, epic planetary vistas, cityscapes and flawless integrated CG characters. Sure, there's a few areas where improvements in computer graphics could have enriched the universe further (Bos Nas / The climactic grass battle) but is all looks damned good. After being wrapped up in The Matrix sequels and the Lord of the Rings trilogy over the last decade, it's cool to go back and admire where the era of super-rich fantasy movies started.

On the negative side there's the acting (or perhaps the direction given to the actors); it's bloody dull. Neeson is restrained and terribly bland as the film's lead Qui Gon Jin. Natalie Portman, while enigmatic as the Queen of Naboo, is also unenergetic and lifeless as Padme. Her delivery comes across as uninspired pre-production, practice script-reading. Ewan MacGregor, in the Padawan leaner role, is subdued also, and plays it too 'eager-to-please'. This partly comes from a director who's unable to articulate his needs to his actors or a belief that he can 'fix' the acting in the editing suite. It's shot with a great deal of medium and long shots, further distancing the audiences from the characters. But the biggest problems are the characters, who are too wrapped up in the formality of their duties (Queens, Jedi, Senators) to interact with any sense of fun; they're too stiff and reserved. Jake Lloyd is too young and too poor an actor (he lives up to his Mannequin Skywalker moniker) to lift the movie with the lust for life that Anakin possesses.

So it's up to the voice cast of the CG creatures to lift the overall performance level of the cast. Ahmed Best is engaging as Jar Jar. Yes he's a twat but it fits the tone of the movie, before the darkness sets in and The Clone Wars begin. Andrew Seacombe is great as Wstto while the unmistakable Brian Blessed gets to unleash his vocal chords as Bos Nas.

Plot wise, Lucas toys with a lighter story, despite the political manuverings. From our knowledge of the original trilogy, you can see plot elements being nudged into position; Anakin's fear of leaving his Mom and joining the Jedi. Also, the whole point of the invasion of Naboo is to manipulate the Senate/Padme/Trade Federation into making Palpatine Chancellor.
It's less urgent than the other films in the saga as the stakes aren't quite so high at this early point. The relationships are too new and too overwhemed with formalities, so there's very little emotional depth or interpersonal drama. It's all set-up with no meat on the bones; just tantalising glimpes of what might be.

The first half lacks pace, with a diversion to Gunga City and shopping trips and yakking on Tattoine slowing the movie down. A lot of the smaller action set-pieces don't registar that well either, particularly the running of the Naboo blockade.

BUT, once the midpoint podrace kicks in, the movie doesn't let up. Indeed, the film is saved from some of the best action editing and direction of the decade..firstly in the beautifully structured pod race and in the multi-threaded climactic battles. All of the final action is top-notch action but the obvious stand-out scenes are the Darth Maul vs Jedi sword fight. It's exhilarating and gravely serious and undoubtedly the best lightsabre fight of the saga. Ray Park as Darth Maul makes a dangerously aggressive foe with an raw, untamed attitude that is showcased even further against the calm of Neeson and MacGregor. Williams score, while a little too whimsical and flourishy at times, is one of his best of the decade. The sword fight accompaniment of 'Duel of the Fates' proves that Williams is the best film theme writer ever.

It's still not improved with age but that doesn't matter 'cause I loved this film anyway. Despite the stiffness, it's still a Star Wars film. That means there's more imagination per second than any other movie series out there (apart from LOTR perhaps). And it's produced to such a staggeringly high standard that the film stills alone are worth gazing at for hours on end, let alone a 2 hour movie. So all the Jar Jar haters and Midichlorian moaners can sod off back to Transformers 2 cause I'm sticking with Phantom Menace.

Attack of the Squeaky Jedi

Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the clones is a film of halves. The middle of the film can be divided in two. Much like The Empire Strikes Back, the other middle trilogy entry, the established heroes Obi Wan (Ewan MacGregor) and Anakin & Padme (Hayden Christensen & Natalie Portman) split up with diffent goals. Unlike Empire, the two story paths are not as engaging as each other.

The Obi Wan plotline, as he unravels the mystery of Padme's attempted assasination and the creation of a clone army is brilliant...taking the lively MacGregor to interesting fantasy locations, cool encounters with Borgnine inspired cafe owners, greyskin prime ministers, dangerous asteroid belts, devious ex-Jedi and grumpy bounty hunters. The flipside is Anakin and Padme travelling to Naboo where they picnic, fall in love and have nightmares about Mom. Portman comes out of her shell more in this instalment, making Padme more human in the process. Christensen follows in Jake Llloyd's footsteps perfectly as he misjudges a teenage Anakin by making him a whiney, immature and moody teenager. Christensen naturaly talks with a deep voice in interviews, so why he decides squeak with a high-pitched girly drone is beyond me. The result is a stiff, chemistry free, unconvincing love story that's a little uncomfortable to watch as Anakin stalks the lovely Portman (the blokes in the audience are thinking' "Yeah mate, she is hot. But don't freak her out by being a moody, cocky twat")

In the second half of the film, things pick up, especially when the plot shifts to Tattoine for the young couple. There's some spark between the two as Anakin finally goes bugnuts after losing his Mum to Sand-people and Anakin's descent towards the Dark Side begins properly. The Anakin and Obi Wan threads are brought together for a relentless series of supurb, ever escalating action sequences on Geonosis as the heroes escape capture, the Jedi are ambushed, the Clone War begins and Dooku faces of with Yoda.

This is a vast improvement over Episode I. The actors are looser in their roles (apart from the squeaker Christensen) and the characters have bonded and are emotionally invested in each other. Anakin weds the mother of Luke and Leia and further highlights his fear of loss and his internal anger. The stakes are higher as Palpatine/Darth Sideous manipulates the galaxy into war, giving him, the chancellor, the political powers he needs to eventually single-handedly rule the galaxy.

Visually, the film is richer than Episode I as the advances in CG make the Star Wars universe even more textures and realistic. The art direction is much more powerful too, as the composition of shots is improved and the vehicles linger in frame longer (like the atmospheric opening Corasant landing sequence). The individual action set-pieces don't match the pod-race but are still imaginative and fun, like the car chase in the films first third. The Jedi battle in the Geonosis arena is a technically flawless adrenalised kick in the balls which has hardly been matched in subsequent blockbuster epics.

While still not perfect, Lucas showed he could listen and learn from his critics and produce better work. The only let down is the casting of Anakin, but that pays off down the road.

Sith Out Of Luck

Shrugging off virtually all the negative aspects of the previous 2 prequels, Star Wars Episiode III Revenge Of The Sith is by far the best of the new Star Wars trilogy. This has mostly to do with the extremely strong script that starts off with one of the most technically complicated action sequences of the saga (a 25 minute space battle and rescue) and builds it's tragic narrative to it's inevitable conclusion.

Only a couple of awkward, early scenes between Portman and Christensen, as they re-declare their love for each other, suck. Apart from that Christensen handles the downfall of Anakin Skywalker well, his demise not from a mystical evil but from the simple desire to save his wife...at any cost, even if it means lying, betraying his faith, and killing kids. It's gripping stuff and the cast are on top form here. Portman's matured and plays her limited scenes with a subtle complexity. MacGregor's at his best with something to get his teeth into, playing Obi with the cheekiness he brought to Episode II, and also with the added embodiment of Sir Alec Guiness, who plays the role in A New Hope. Ian McDiarmand is excellent as ever. The outstanding scene of Sith isn't an action sequence but the Opera scene, as Palatine skillfully seduces Anakin with the possibilities that the Dark Side hold.

Indeed it's these interactions that are the key to Sith's success. Take the moment before Padme confronts Anakin on Mustafar; silently she contemplates her future... or the execution of Order 66 across the galaxy, signalling the culling of the Jedi. Another beautiful, wordless sequence is when Padme and Anakin gaze across the vast city at each other, as Anakin reluctantly chooses his fate.

The action isn't shabby though, with the Grevious Vs Obi Wan confrontation providing a midpoint adrenaline rush. But it's that swordfight...the one we've been waiting for for 19 years that takes the prize. It might not be as well choreographed as Episode I's duel, but it's loaded with an emotional punch as two mates slug it out for the fate of the galaxy. It's compulsive, sad and when it gets to poor ol' Anakin clawing his flaming body up the side of the volcano, you know Lucas has delivered on the promise of the prequels. The brilliance of the birth of Vader juxtaposed with the death of Padme is sadly undermined by Vader's brief Frankenstein impression. Yes, he's very upset, but considering the lenghth of time fans have been wating for the return of THAT suit, another way to show his distress might have been in order.

Still, it can't ruin a supurb, five-star movie that ends on an nostalgically moving note with the setting of Tattoine's two suns on familiar homestead. It's a shame that Episodes I & II couldn't have been as powerful as this, but it's obvious that without their existence, we would not have had a third entry as powerful and satisfying as this.

Always Room For More Killing

Perhaps I'm a little too harsh on some glossy Hollywood horror directors. Take Jonathan Liebesman, the man behind Texas Chainsaw: The Beginning & Darkness Falls. Both of those were flashy and forgetable, Michael Bay wannabe, crap-fests. I may need to consider that these pop music directors get typecast in the horror genre and may wanna try something a little deeper...as demonstrated by Liebesman with The Killing Room, a nifty Saw-like thriller with some cool political undertones.

It's got a great cast from Timothy Hutton (so good in The Dark Half), Clea DuVall, Chloe Sevigny, Shea Whigham, Peter Stormare (the barking Ruskie's nearly perfected his Yank accent)and Nick Cannon. Four strangers willingly enter the killing room for a government experiment where they'll earn $250 for a days work. However, when Doctor Peter Stormore leaves the room, things go breast-up pretty quickly.

It's quite tense, although there's very little in the way of gore. It's also very insightful into Bush politics and what a government is willing to do to best its enemies. Through new recruit Sevigny, we get to see the killing room from the captors perspective and consider that we, as informed and educated citizens are complicit in our governments decisions, even if we don't always agree with them.

Smart stuff. Still, I can't see Michael Bay's Platuinum Dunes production company dropping horror remakes for intense thrillers on the Global Economic Crisis, just yet.

Return Of The Affleck

State of Play is the hollywood remake of the 2003 BBC mini-series of the same name. Touching The Void and Last King of Scotland director, Kevin McDonald relocates the action to Washington with Russell Crowe in the lead as a newspaper reporter, helping his buddie Senator, Ben Affleck, get over a sex scandel. But, this being a thriller set in the world of newspaper reporting, there's murder and corporate conspiricy to throw into the mix.

This is smart adult film-making like what they used to make, with tension building as the story expands. Can they make the deadline or will the newspaper's corporate owners shut them down? Will the corporate conspiritors assasinate them before the piece is written? Will police interference curb Crowe's efforts?

Crowe is great in an unflashy role. Rachel McAdams shows why she's one of the best young actresses in movies today. Helen Mirren does the Perry White role as only she (or Dame Judi) could. And Affleck delivers an understated career best performance. I'm not sure why Brad Pitt walked away from the Crowe role seeing as how his replacement completely nailed it, but I can comprehend why Edward Norton dumped the Affleck role as the senator isn't on screen too much. However it does give Affleck the opportunity to explore a complex character, and one in a position of authrity, something he's rarely performed.

There's also some strong character narratives woven into the mix along with the thrills. Great stuff.

Observed And Reported

Observe and Report starring Seth Rogan is the second film this year to feature the misadventures of a shopping mall security guard. Unlike the uber-frothy Kevin James vehicle Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Observe & Report is a much darker, stranger movie.
Rogan plays Ronnie, the Chief of Mall Security. He's on medication for psychological disorders. He likes guns a little tooo much. And he has an over inflated opinion of his own abilities, his own importance and is utterly deluded as to what others think of him...whether it be good or bad.

In Adam Sandler's hands this could be a hilarious romp. But director Jody Hill has other ideas, and he and Rogan turns Ronnie into an obnoxious tragic asshole. It's one of those movie thats both funny AND uncomfortable to watch, as Ronnie (always turned up to 11) tries to catch the mall pervert, enrole in the police and win the girl of his dreams, Anna Faris.

Rogan creates a monster, one you're not always rooting for. Despite coming from Warner Brothers, this is more of a quirky indie comedy than a mainstream laughter house. A curiosity.

If You Don't Like This, You're All A Bunch Of Basterds!

I love Quentin Tarantino movies. Mostly. Resevoir Dogs is his most grounded and intense work which is why I still think it's his best. Pulp Fiction brought some his best characters and dialogue kicking and screaming onto the silver screen. The two KIll Bills are a funny and thrilling delight, as are his scripts for True Romance and From Dusk Till Dawn. Death Proof was evidence of his stunning ability to deconstruct a movie genre and create something unique from its ashes. Only Jackie Brown, a movie I like but don't adore, fails to excite me.

For Inglourious Basterds Tarantino plays with the World War II mission movie, and in the process, has less action than any other behind-enemy-lines movie in memory. But, since this is motor-mouth Quentin were talking about, thats quite alright thank you. QT structures the movie into 5 acts, gradually introducing his characters, situations, motivations and objectives. Each act contains long, talky scenes (in English, French German and Italian) that consisely communicate the plot...much like a play. Each scene is expertly crafted to build suspence, while littering proceeding with memorable occurances and dialogue, which the cast interprete with style.

Melanie Laurent (a younger and french Uma Thurman clone) get the main storyline, as the vengeful Shosanna, and also the least dialogue of the main ensemble. Hers is a thoughtful, considered performance. Everybody elsae is living in Quentin's world and act accordingly. Pitt is charming and hilarious as the Basterds leader, Aldo Raine, all swagger and broad southern accent (his attempt to speak Italian nearly had me in tears). It's a broad characature but it fits in perfectly to the enhanced reality of QT's WWII. He's matched in a truly original turn by Christophe Waltz as the antagonist of the piece, Col. Hans Landa. It's both chilling, daft, animated and brutal...and Waltz makes it all seem grounded and part of the same complex character (do I hear Oscar buzz?) He comes across like a young Jerome Krabbe, times ten! Michael Fassbender as stiff, upper-class officer Archie Hicox is the other standout, coming across like a 40's movie star reincarnated...David Niven reborn if you like.

Thematically there's a lot going on in Basterds, and I suspect it will take multiple viewings (like Death Proof) to uncover the subtext. But it's obvious from the outset this is a celebration of the power of cinema; about it's power as a propaganda tool, to bring people together and it's explosive power to change (this happens almost literally as the cinema screen explodes with Shosanna's vengeful projection laughing manically). It's like a post-modern fairytale; extemely aware of it's own existence as a movie. It starts of with a "Once upon a time" chapter heading and even has a cinderella slipper moment.

There's also a lot going on about the need for a reputation amongst others. German sniper Zoller is a war hgero reveling in his new found status as movie star. The Basterds themselves actively seek to spread infamy throughout German ranks. Hammersmark wants to maintain her movie star image while Hicox is obviously proud of his ex-movie critic career, boasting at one point of his being in a famous movie. Landa relishes and promotes his Jew Hunter nickname as it stikes fear into his prey while, initially, Shosanna is the only player who seeks anonimity as she tries to hide her Jewish heritage. It's only at the climax as she deliberately projects her home-movie onto the cinema screen that she too wishes it to be known that she is responsible.

Basterds stands as QT's best photographed and designed movie to date. It's a testament to the structure and pacing of the movie that, after two and a half hours, you want to see more...but that happens with most QT movies. It's only in the third act, as an adult Shosanna is reintroduced that the pace slackens...but it's necessary and not for long as Waltz arrives to spice things up. I have a feeling that this may not go down too well in the States with it's revisionist history, talky chapers and heavy emphasis on subtitles. However, the international feel may boost it's overseas chances at the box office, especially in Europe, where the respect to that area's languages might pay off. Let's hope it does 'cause I'd like to see the half written prequel to this glourious baby.

Norwegian Nazi Zombie Massacre

Why can't all Norwegian horror movies be like Dead Snow? Well, maybe they are 'cause I haven't seen any other Norwegian horror movies. But on the basis of this fun, blood splattered affair, an entire industry could be set up in the mountains producing this stuff.

It's the usual horror thing of young people vacationing in a cabin...not in the woods, but on a snowbound mountain. The phones are out of range of civilization immediately and a bloke turns up fairly early on to provide the backstory to the approaching brutality. From then on it's Nazi Massacre central.

It takes itself more seriously than I anticipated, with the lunacy injected natrurally into procedings. The gore is inventive and plentiful (although it never goes tp the extremes of Braindead or Evil Dead II, the two films it's clearly influenced by). The movie goes out of it's way, Alien style, to keep you guessing as to who the main character will be; can it be dashing Martin, hapless Herzog or Hanna, the Eva Green clone?

Well, given that the cool Zombie Nazi's are so entertaining (and plentiful) it's none of the above. Great fun and a great final shot too.

The Jewish Fanny Fart Show

Most American TV comedy is safe, studio pap. Every now and again, someone with balls comes along and pushes the boundries (Family Guy's Seth McFarlane) but it mainly consists of How I Met Your Mother, etc. Thankfully there's Comedy Central and HBO to find new ways to amuse and offend in equal measure...who several years ago produced The Sarah Silverman Program, a surreal half hour weekly comedy, from the Jew that gave you "I'm f~~king Matt Damon".

Sarah plays herself, a rude, selfish, naive and very childlike 30-something. Being this rude selfish and childlike, Sarah gets into a bit of trouble each week, and it's up to her sister, sister's cop boyfriend and two gay next door neighbours to help her out. Politically correct this is not. Yey!

Ron Perlman Gives Me The Chills

Poor M Night Shyamalan. With his last effort, The Happening, he obviously wanted to combine a scary supernatural thriller with a eco-drama about the Earth turning on humans. History shows that didn't turn out too well for him. Perhaps he should of taken note of Larry Fessenden's The Last Winter. It tells of an Antarctic oil-company base run by a brilliantly grouchy Ron Pearlman. James LeGros plays Hoffman, an oil company hired eco-scientist who suspects the environment is reacting to their presense.

It's a very still, slow burn drama that trades on atmosphere and slowly building tension than cheap shocks or lazy cgi. As the story progresses the sanity and the safety of the base's staff is called into question. Perlman is a great as the leader of the group and the cause of most of the friction in his team; he's gruff but we like him anyways. This is perhaps too quiet and restrained for it's own good, but it is a strong example of how to slowly build dread and anticipation without the need for CGI. Are you listening Mr Shyamalan?

Crash...And Slightly Burnt

Is Paul Haggis's 2004 Best Picture Oscar Winner "Crash";-

a/ A thought provoking, multiple character study of racism, in all it's different forms, as it exists in contemporary America?

b/ A bunch of very unlikable people, being unlikable...and perhaps learning something about themselves and each other in the process.

Brilliantly written and solidly directed by Paul Haggis. But why this got the best picture nod over Munich, Good Night & Good Luck and Brokeback Mountain is beyond me.
Worthy, but hard to like.

Cut The Red Wire, Under Fire

Kathryn Bigelow hasn't had a very prolific career but at least she's had a strong one. For every ambitious, but not entirely sucessful movie she's directed (like K-19: The Widowmaker or Blue Steel) she's knocked out a corker )like Near Dark, Strange Days or Point Break). She can add another success to the last list with The Hurt Locker, which follows a bomb squad in their final few weeks of duty in Iraq.

A bit like Darabont's The Mist, Bigelow drops her regular style and adopts a more hand-held documentary style of film-making. The result is a raw, authentic, in-your face experience which puts the audience right in the centrew of the action. Structurally the movie comprises of a series of missions as the trio of Bomb Disposal experts deal with the wildly varying callouts, all of which are incredibly tense viewing experiences.

The movie chooses not to take a stance on the Iraq occupation, instead allowing the three central characters to come to terms with doing the most dangerous job, in a very dangerous war. All three characters reflect a different viewpoint; thery're all trying to factor in what could be their impending deaths with living a normal life.

This is great stuff, with its up-close-an-personal account of life on the Iraqi streets and non stop set-pieces. The ambush sequence at the midpoint is a stand-out.
If there's a weakness there isn't much of a plot to speak of. However, since this is more of a multiple character study and a cinematic recreation of a distant war, it works extremely well.

Too Many Secrets

Everybody has their movie which, for some reason, they have a special connection with but other people approach with indifference or no knowledge. For me that film is Phil Alden Robinson's 1992 flick Sneakers starring Robert Redford. After his 1989 hit Field of Dreams, Robinson was in the A list. So many people were surprised, and even dismissive, of this light, comic thiller about a bunch of freelance, misfit espionaige types.

The script is utter perfection, with each and every scene pushing the plot, multiple characters and action onwards. The humor is never forced, emerging naturally from a brilliant ensemble including Dan Aykroyd, River Phoenix, Sidney Poitier, Mary McDonnell and Ben Kingsley. James Horner's score is amongst his best and most original while Robinsons direction is subtle and unflashy. He's reminicent of Robert Zemekis in many ways, ensuring the camera is best placed to best communicate the emotion, ideas, or story in each shot.

One of the reasons I love this is it's a caper movie with the team embarking on many missions impossible in their cause. Indeed it's not the action but the thrill of seeing Redford and his team solve unsolvable puzzles or figuring out unrevealed truths. It's down to this that the movie contains what is perhaps my favorite movie scene ever. The 'Too Many Secrets' scenes has the cast playing scrabble while David Strathairn fiddles with a mysterious device the team has just aquired. As the scene plays out, the peril inherant in the story is fully revealed and the macguffin is explained. it's a beautifully structured sequence that has a beginning (the puzzle is unravelled), a middle (what the little black box actually does) and an end (the consequences of the discovery. In 8 minutes it takes us on a journey of the excitement of discovery, the exhilaration of the wonders of technology, and finally the staggering danger to society if allowed to fall into the wrong hands. It's edited, scored and acted to perfection and stands as an advertisment to all why film-making is an art form to be admired.

Fortunately, the rest of the movie is nearly this great.

Team America - The Rise Of Cobra

Sometimes I 'get' Stephen Sommers movies and sometimes I don't. Mainly I don't. I like the dumb, trashy monster movie Deep Rising. I don't like The Mummy at all...it's well made but I find it boring, with no incentive to continue watching once started. The Mummy Returns is so busy and action packed that there's no time to be bored; this one I like. Van Helsing however is a major misfire, crapping on the Univeral icons of Dracula and The Wolfman. The dark horror look jars with the daft tone and cartoony effects. Apart from one good sequence the whole movie's a write-off.

I wasn't going to see G.I.Joe - The Rise Of Cobra because of that last disasterous encounter with director Sommers work. However, my need to get a fix of big budget action overwhelmed logic and watch it, I did. And I'm very glad too because GI Joe's huge fun.

It's a guilty pleasure movie; a movie that is very clearly flawed, even to the point of being undefendable, but is undeniably enjoyable anyway. It feels like a live action version of an 80's cartoon; there's very little character stuff, the baddies plans are continuously spewed forth in a rather arch way and the whole thing has a larger-than-life, pantomime feel. It kind of reminded me of The Humanoid or Battle Beyond The Stars in the late 70's where the inadequecies of the production were inconsequential compared with the sheer fun of the story and action. And that is GI Joe; a $175 million B-movie.

Channing Tatum inherits the title of "The Plank" from a redeemed Josh Hartnett, as the most souless leading man since Keanu in Dracula. The mouth flaps, the eyes are open, but there's nothing behind those lifeless peepers. Marlon Wayons teeters on the right side of annoying & Dennis Quaid is the new John Vernon, spouting all-American corniness, bordering on parody. Christopher Eccleston has a surprisingly dodgy Scots accent but is out-hammed, off the screen by Joseph Gordon-Levett's Cobra Commander. A silent Ray Park is ace as Snake Eyes, GI Joe's unequivable icon.
Rachel Nichols redefines the meaning of cute, while the stupendously hot, full-bodied woman award goes to Sienna Miller as The Baroness. Miller is surprisingly good, not only in a rare turn as a brunette (it suits her) but stretching her acting chops for the most rounded character of the movie. (I love the way she struts like a model, despite the snow, gunfire, explosions, etc).

As always with a Sommers movie the effects come in for scrutiny (and critisism). The CGI is a mixed bag with some being particularly awful (why was Destro's mouth really large and moving round his face?) or really good (the 'Iron-Man' suits in Paris...mostly). But, as always, the environments looked like something generated out of a video game and the characters moved with the occasional disregard to physics, despite their enhanced abilities. Fortunately, the fun B-movie tone ultimately makes the sub-standard effects redundent.

The movie's well paced for a 2 hour flick and the action sequence's well handled. The action is well structured and the characters geography is communicated clearly and their objectives obvious (which is essential, but often lacking in blockbuster actioners these days). The Team America inspired, terrorist attack on Paris is the movie's stand-out set-piece with genuine excitment being created by the threat, and the tension produced by the endevour to stop the attack. The action's inter-spaced by a handfull of alarmingly grounded character moments as we learn about Snake Eyes youth and Duke and The Baroness' previous relationship.

As expected, the film is epic and completely off it's boobies. The GI Joe's base, The Pit, is massive beyond belief, having their airport (with all the heavy vehicles on the runway) being built on the floor above the water staging area...looks good but makes no sense. When Destro's base is crushed it's done so by the sinking, crumbling ice-pack (that was floating rather well in its combined form!) Also, for so many 100's of GI Joe's working at this complex, they always seem to send the same 5 man team out on missions. The performance's are barking too; everytime Quaid refers to his team as 'Joe's', I had to snigger. Also, when Gordon-Levitt takes over as main villain, hissing manically "Call me Commander!", the film almost begins to crumble under the weight of it's own lunacy.

Fortunately the movie takes a step away from the edge and recovers. The climax is straight out of Return of the Jedi having an assualt on the villains base, a simultanious swordfight, escaping an explosion through a tunnel and the goodies fleet backing of when the evil lair is destroyed. It makes you think this is where the Pierce Brosnan Bond films might have ended up if they'd escalated the CGI wackiness of Die Another Day into subsequent adventures.

If your willing to overlook poor effects and common sense to experience a fun bit of escapism, I'd recommend GI Joe. But it might leave you scarred.

In Case Of Travolta, Pull Cord

The Taking Of Pelham 123 is forth collaboaration between director, Tony Scott, and star Denzel Washington after Crimson Tide, Man On Fire and Deja Vu. As such, this is EXACTELY the type and quality of movie you'd expect from another pairing of such talents. It's a flashy, exciting, well told thriller. Nuff said.

It's a remake of the Joseph Sargeant thriller of the same name which starred Walter Matthau in the authoritarian role and Robert Shaw as the hijacker. In comparison, the two new leads decide to do their own thing; Denzel does nobel as only Denzel can, althogh he's a little more down-troden than in recent movies. Travolta chooses the opposite path than Shaw's cool, calculating robber; his baddie Ryder, is much more unpredictable and animated. It's a typically enjoyable bad guy routine that Travolta does without breaking a sweat. It's a releif to see John Turturro actually acting after his epileptic gurning in the Transformers sequel, plus acknowledgment to The Guzman for just turning up.

The narrative's been updated to include 35 years of technological advances like laptops, webcams, google, cctv and cell phones. Plot wise it's has a Die Hard style update as the villains plan is more cunning than originally perceived and there's a tacked on chase sequence to allow Washington and Travolta to have that all important face off at the climax. Despite this modern movie convention, it's great to have a big action thriller which revolves around the two main characters sat down talking to each other for most of the movie.

Roll on Unstoppable which will mark Scott and Washington's fifth team-up.

Opposite Sex Elevate Hex

First, a brief history of British TV sci-fi. In the 70's and before, British fantasy TV was good. There was Doctor Who, Blake's Seven, Space 1999, The Survivors and The Avengers and all was good with the world. And then in the early 80's, the quality dipped; Doctor Who turned sour and Star Cops was crap. Only Red Dwarf weathered the storm. That storm evaporated in 2005 when the reinvented Doctor Who returned to our screens. Since then it has been (mostly) good with the likes of Primeval, Torchwood and Life On Mars. Even faliures like Merlin, Demons and Robin Hood were in no way as lifeless and dull as the BBC's 1998 mini-series Invasion: Earth, perhaps the low-point of the wasteland years.

One of the shows to appear during this wasteland period was Sky TV's Hex, a supernatural serial featuring teen-girls in a posh bording school.
The first episode, setting up the characters, backstory and main-storyline is perhap the least interesting and compelling TV pilot I've ever seen. And staying true to it's staus as a wasteland period series, the rest of the season one episodes aren't much better. The problem is the creators have a story that is interesting upto 90 minutes. But stretched to 3 times that length, there's very little reason to continue watching.

Well nearly. For a UK series, it's a handsome production and the young cast are watchable. Georgina Roper spices things up as a lesbian ghost and Zoe Tapper does her posh snob thing very well. But it's the gobsmackingly gorgeous Christina Cole as the lead, Cassie, that pulls one back to watch the next episode. All Tv and movies should be driven by great plot and great characters; first and foremost, no arguements. Casting attractive blonds should be considered extremely shallow. However, with a series as boring and as virtually unwatchable as Hex, it's a testament to shallow casting that I managed to watch the whole of the first season before giving in to common sence and turning it off. Producers, I salute you!

The Other Great World Trade Center Caper

Man On Wire is a great documentary recounting the attempt of high-wire walker, Phillipe Petit, to walk between the 2 towers of The World Trade Center in 1974. It was very dangerous (a quarter of a mile high) and very illegal, some calling it the 'artistic crime of the century'.

What you get here is a documentary caper movie as the principals, all very much alive, recall their history, their planning and ultimately the scheme itself to infiltrate both towers, in order to bring Phillipe's dream to life. The characters are facinating (Petit himself is enthusiastic and perhaps a little eccentric) and the story gripping; it's amazing that it was the subterfuge required to gain access to the roof of each building, rather than the high-wire act itself, that caused the greatest tension and difficulties.,

The movie also stands as a fitting tribute to The World Trade Center. It marvels it's design and construction, documents its inner workings and geography and presents it as a inspiring icon (even before it's construction) to those that dare to dream.

The Virtuality Remake Pilot

It's weird the way the TV industry works, especially the US TV networks. Take two pilots for science fiction shows with extremely similar premises. In Fox's Virtuality, a near-future spaceship containing 8-10 astronauts is launched on an exploration mission to a neighbouring star. In NBC's Defying Gravity, a near-future spaceship containing 8-10 astronauts is launched on an exploration mission to our neighbouring planets.

While Virtuality had a rich, multi-layed concept (it mixed virtual reality with reality TV with a save the world plot with a murder mystery)...Defying Gravity has mostly dull people in a spaceship together, with non of the depth or intelligence that it's competitor possessed. It has a touch of the Lost structure as it flashes between pre-mission training and the actual mission for it's running time. Only Laura Harris stands out while (Riddick's) Christina Cox tries hard, but slips into blandness.

This being American TV we're talking about it's Defying Gravity that made it to series while Virtuality was ignored. And that defies logic.

The Very Bad Things Remake Movie

If you're familiar with Peter Berg's 1998 movie Very Bad Things then you don't really need to see this year's The Hangover from Old School helmer Todd Phillips.
It's the same basic plot of mates going to Vegas for a Stag Party (that's Batchelor Party for the Yanks) and it all going horribly wrong.

Despite the similarities in premise, the tone of The Hangover's a lot lighter. Like Road Trip and Old School, it's played with a down-to-earth, natural quality that's punctuated by crazy characters, foul language and laugh-out-loud moments at frequent intervals. It's quite amusing and very likable but doesn't stick in the memory for long afterwards. Perhaps I shouldn't have seen Berg's 1998 classic before hand, but it's beyond me why this pleasent comedy is one of the biggest hits in the States this year.