Horror film, "Perkins 14", tells the tragic tale of the Hopper family. Tragic, but not because of the 14, PCP fueled, teenage zombies, that local nutjob Mr Perkins has had locked in his basement for a decade, have escaped, intent on eating the flesh from the residents of the small American town. No, it's tragic because The Hoppers are the dumbest bunch of fuckwits to ever grace a horror film.
Daddy Fuckwit discovers one of the feral zombie kids is his own, kidnapped 10 years earlier, and therefore won't kill him...even when he continues to devour his colleges, townsfolk and the ol' ball and chain. Then there's Hopper's fuckwit, French whore wife who asks stupid questions and wanders off to get devoured by the flesh eating hoard. Mummy and daddy fuckwit also have an airheaded, rebellious fuckwit daughter who'd rather open the locked prison cell she's hiding in AND give her cannibalistic older brother her shotgun than, er, live.
What a fuckwit.
It's deathly slow to get going, murky and migraine inducing when it does get gain momentum...but any positive the film may gain for it's disemboweling gore effects are smothered under the barmy story of The Fuckwit Family. Perhaps the film is trying to say dysfunctional families should disband rather than try to live together in perpetual misery. Given the retarded logic the Hoppers display...I'd tend to go along with that. However, I suspect that, just like The Fuckwit Family themselves, director Craig Singer hasn't got a logical, decent idea in his noggin either.
1 comment:
What a bunch of fuckwits!
This was deadly boring and filled with idiotic and unlikeable characters. Also, having the last two thirds of the film shot with constant flickering neon lights was MASSIVELY irritating. The only upside were the pretty good gore effects. Some nice Romeroesque gut munching and limb ripping going on. But that's not enough to save this shitbrick from being flushed down my movie loo.
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