What can I say. The Expendables is just what I expected. Indestructible blokes having fights and blowing shit up. Anyone disappointed by shallow plotting, credibility defying logic and one dimensional characterisation should only blame themselves for not embracing this nostalgic bullshit action movie. The story is simple. Stallone's Barney Ross and his team of (mostly) aging mercenaries take a job to topple an evil dictator on a small Gulf island. Easy. The simplistic script (essentially a Wild Bunch style western) adds a slight emotional arc for Sly, and co-star Jason Statham, and some quirks for the rest of the team but that's about it.
But frankly, that's all you need.
The Expendables has been touted as an ensemble but in reality it's more of a buddy movie. It works in layers. On the top tier you have Stallone and Statham, trading jibes and wrestling with girlfriend issues. On the next tier you have the love hate squabbling/scrapping of Lungren and Li...well matched as poor actors rather than in height. And on the bottom tier of the team Randy Couture and Terry Crews have one characteristic to define them and to separate them from random beefcakes. Not really an ensemble but a structure and dynamic that works well within the confines of the story. Eric Roberts and Steve Stone Cold Austin play slimy bad guy and henchman respectively while Micky Rourke gets the wordy emotional stuff in a couple of scenes as a retired Merc.
The infamous onscreen meeting of Arnie, Stallone and Willis is as under written as everything else in the movie and disappointingly brief. But it sure is bloody marvelous to behold. All three are playing to their strengths; Willis wisecracking and smirking, Stallone the understated underdog and Arnie awkward, lumbering and charismatic. It's such a shame it only last a few minutes.
With so little meat on it's bones The Expendables has to rely on the quality of it's action to support itself. And in this respect it doesn't disappoint. After an initial scuffle at the film's beginning there are three major set pieces spread throughout the runtime. The first, an extended hand to hand fight, car chase and aircraft sequence is the best of the bunch, being beautifully staged, paced and executed. The second, a city bound car chase followed by a frantic one-on-one is great too (although the editing is bordering on, but not succumbing to, epilepsy). And then finally you have the Rambo/Commando assault on the enemy's headquarters, with all the massive explosions, rescues, and face offs that you'd expect from that scenario.
It's not the smartest thing you'll see this year nor the slickest action movie either (The Losers is wittier and The A-Team is far bigger in scale) but it is the bone crunchingly exciting action movie that I always hoped it would be. Great banter, delivered by enduringly cool action stars...all while beating the living crap out of each other. War...it's fantastic.
