Transfomers - Dark Side Of Uranus

After the major disappointment of the first Transformers sequel Revenge Of The Fallen two years ago I was somewhat hoping director Michael Bay had listened to his critics and made a better film with the latest installment, Transformers - Dark Of The Moon. In order to succeed Bay had to scale back on the childish humour (usually involving Shia LeBeuf's parents or Section 7 Agent Simmonds), reintroduce the sense of magic and surprise that the first Transformers movie possessed and then simply have the plot make some kind of sense.

While Dark Of The Moon is better than Revenge Of The Fallen, it still falls way short of the entertainment value of that first movie. It's a film of two distinct halves. The first half, dealing with a conspiracy which leads to a large alien invasion is utter garbage. Although Bay has wisely minimised the appearances of John Turturro, Kevin Dunn and Julie White, he then stupidly casts John Malkovich, Frances McDormand (both actors I love) and Ken Jeong in roles that eclipse the franchise regulars in terms of annoyingness. It's the same with the irritating robots; Bay ditches racist robot's Skids and Mudflaps from the last movie and replaces them with much smaller, but just as stupid, mini-clones. Bay also disposes the stunning looks and non-acting ability of Megan Fox and replaces her with the stunning looks and non-acting ability of Rosie Huntingdon-Whitley (actually I don't think she's awful awful...she'd be right at home in Hollyoaks or Eastenders...but she's a posh Brit uncomfortable acting in a dumb American movie).

Even the regulars are short changed. Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson have no character development scenes of any kind while poor Shia is turned into an insecure, whiny, unlikable bitch for the first half of the film, fretting about his girlfriend's boss, his lack of funds, his lack of job and the general lack of respect from everyone and everybody. Problem is when he's this much of a selfish twat, I don't care about him either...a bit of a problem when he's your lead in a $200 million blockbuster.

And then there's the plot. Bay said that the terrible story in Revenge Of The Fallen was down to the fact they shot a rushed first draft script completed just before the writers strike kicked in back in 2008. Dark Of The Moon had no such industrial action inhibiting it's script but the narrative is just as convoluted, just as dumb, just as badly structured and just as confusing as the last sequel. I'm a guy who's proud to say they can follow the plot of Sucker Punch and Inception but an hour into Transformers 3, I just gave up. As usual there's a MacGuffin both the Autobots and the Decepticons want and whoever gets it first rules the world....so I just switched off and waited for the robots to hit each other.

That's where the good news begins. When the action starts...and there isn't much in the first half...so does the movie. This is the best 3D I've seen since Avatar. The extra dimension actually helps you distinguish the mass of pixels from one another, making sure the robots and the backgrounds don't blend into one another as in Transformers 2. Since the 3D has meant Bay has had to slow down the pace of his editing (apparently it takes the eye 3 seconds to process a complex 3D image)the action is much better than in most Michael Bay movies. Characters are easier to distinguish, the geography of the action is much easier to follow and the fact that there's more attention to the quality of the image as opposed to the sheer quantity of edits means the action is much more exciting. And since there's more of Bay's trademark slow-motion on display, the number of ultra-cool slo-mo shots has increased tenfold. Whether it's the burning wreckage of assault helicopters plummeting past parachuting combat troops or a suddenly vehicle less passenger freewheeling through the air above a still occurring freeway pile-up, Bay has managed to turn the restrictions of the 3D technology into a major victory.

The effects are staggering, up there in scale, quality and detail with Roland Emmerich's 2012. The whole skyscraper based action scenes in particular, with our heroes climbing over, through and under a collapsing megastructure is mindboggling and it's stuff like this that Bay proves that he's a master craftsman. Like the first Transformers movie, the objective of the action is made more clear, making the stakes seem higher and the drama more urgent. Setting the carnage in the middle of a western city, rather than the middle of the desert, also helps to engage the audience as the setting is more relatable.

Never have I seen a film so divided within itself. The lack of comprehensible story, universally unlikable (or completely blank) characters, the lack of any major action and the over-the-top, misguided attempts at humour made me want to murder, maim and torture the projectionist to encourage them to make the film stop. And then, a bit later on, I watched with mouth agape, giggling like a 7 year old on Christmas Morning, at the stunning action and imagery I was witnessing.

While I liked large chunks of what I saw in this sequel I'm just glad this is Bay's last Transformers movie.

Murder, Insanity & The American Dream

American Psycho was a controversial movie even before it's release. One because it was deemed unadaptable to a film format, it's sick ultra-violence and dense, descriptive passages were thought to be too much for a conventional film. And it was also expected to be Leonardo DiCaprio's follow up film to his break out success in Titanic. Fortunately not only did director Mary Harron manage to to give us a faithful and rich adaptation, but the part of Patrick Bateman, the psycho of the title, went to upcoming A-lister Christian Bale.

Bale is stunning, still his best work in my mind despite winning turns in The Fighter, The Mechanic, Public Enemies and The Prestige. It's quite a broad performance at times, but it perfectly fits the black comedic tone that director Harron is going for. Bale captures the persona of a man who strives for wealth, status and acceptance and superiority in society, as well as the shallow, moral-free man whose psyche is crumbling beneath the precisely groomed exterior.

Like the book, the film is a critique and parody of the American Dream, exaggerated to the extreme. Greed, consumerism and social and class status are targeted with Harron revealing the underlying madness that awaits us if society continues on this path. At the end Bateman's murder spree is in doubt along with his sanity and even his identity. But it's a commentary on all of us; if we define ourselves by our belongings and our looks, then perhaps we lose our own identity to those superficial personas. Darkly funny, smart and compelling.

Red Dawn Over Oz

Ever since Twilight came out to huge box office and generated an obsessive teen fanbase, Hollywood has attempted to capture lightning in a bottle once again. But no matter how many I Am Number Fours, Red Riding Hoods or Beastlys that they make, they've not been able to recapture the success of that film series (even if they are mind-numbingly boring). It's cool to report that the Australians have been Hollywood to it with Tomorrow - When The War Began, based on the series of teen adventure novels by John Marsden.

The plot is simple...that of 80's action movie Red Dawn. Oz is invaded by an unnamed Asian military menace and a group of teens, camping away from their smalltown Australian community, have to grow up fast and fight back. Considering this is written and directed by the dudious talents of Stuart Beattie, writer of GI:Joe and the first Pirates Of The Caribbean, it's the script that really makes this film special. In virtually every American teen movie I've seen recently the gang of youths have been largly unlikable, prompting me to wish them a swift annd brutal death. But in Tomorrow, the kids are all distinctive, likable, and most importantly humorous. The way they talk and interact with each other is both realistic and fun. They're conflicted and multi-layered and you actually want to spend time with the rag tag group...both before the invasion and after. It even wisely keeps the romantic elements to a minimum, although they are there.

It's shot in an old fashioned kind of way, steadily paced without many irritating modern movie making techniques, and has a couple of well staged action sequences in amoungst the drama. It's not a big scale production by any means, but it's premise is strong enough, it's direction is cinematic enough, and it's great cast of morally questioning characters is riviting enough to make me yearn to see the soon-to-shoot sequel.

Mars Need Moms, Disney Needs Hits

It isn't often these days that you see a major blockbuster flop. If a studio has invested upwards of $150 million in a broadly appealing family adventure, you can rely on the Hollywood marketing machine to work it's magic and dupe an audience into checking it out, whether the film is any good or not. But Disney Animation's Mars Needs Moms bucked the trend and crashed big time. No one was interested. No one came. The tale of a kid who mounts a rescue mission when his Mom is abducted by Martians was ignored.

While it certainly doesn't deserve to be a big hit, it doesn't deserve to be shunned either. It comes from Robert Zemekis' production stable so it has to it's credit that family adventure/Amblin Entertainment feel to it...although not as good as the Amblin classics OR Zemekis's own Monster House production. It looks good, moves at a brisk pace and has a spirited central (mo-capped) performance from Seth Green as the kid.

On the downside it's an all too familiar tale (a kids version of Avatar), it's way too sentimental, Dan Fogler's manchild 'Gribble' is an annoying c*@#, and the performance capture stuff is as creepy as anything in The Polar Express. So while this is one of the biggest flops in recent Disney history, it's not that bad...certainly not in the same league of awfulness as Pirates Of The Caribbean 4.
Go Disney!

July Pick N Mix

Here's an 80's animated He-Man spoof with Irish TV Presenter Terry Wogan...



All the swearing in Pulp Fiction in one concise Supercut...



A not-as-funny-as-it-thinks-it-is but facinating geek discussion on Batman's effectiveness in Gothan City...

Why Batman Is Secretly Terrible for Gotham -- powered by Cracked.com

A trailer for the comedy-buddy version of Game Of Thrones...



And finally, a mash up of Tron Legacy and computer game Angry Birds...

First Class By Name, First Class By Nature

When I saw the new superhero sequel X-Men First Class, I found the question wasn't 'Is the film any good?' but instead, 'How does it compare with X2?' The question of quality is answered pretty quickly with a story that's amongst the very best comic book adaptations yet made for the bigscreen, but it's the nagging thought that the new film is better than Bryan Singer's 2003 X-Men sequel which saw superheros be taken much more seriously than before, balancing character with action with intelligence.

Comparing the two, side by side, it's easy to see Singer's trademark slow editing and the way he directs actors to much more restrained performances than Kick Ass's Matthew Vaughan does, as well as giving his first two X-Men movies a more slow burn, adult thriller tone. And in some scenes Vaughan emulates Singer's style, keeping things mature in tone and grounded with respect to the performances. But he also allows himself to deviate from the established tone to deliver a film broader, not only in narrative scope, but in tone as well.

1/ The film is fun, and much funnier than previous X-Men movies. James McAvoy's Xaviour is far removed from Patrick Stewart's regal portrayal, making him a cocky, lover of the ladies who likes a few drinks down the boozer, and he ensures much of the film doesn't take itself too seriously. The recruitment scene is laced with humour while the naming sequence, as the young recruits choose their superhero names, is almost cartoon like in it's staging.

2/ There's some powerful, iconic or memorable sequences, some dark (Erik's Marathon Man style persuasion of a Swiss Banker), some emotional (Erik's training breakthrough), some dangerous (the outstanding Argentinian revenge sequence), some touching (the Raven/Hank relationship), and some uplifting (Banshee's first flight). And then there's the gobsmacking...Magneto using his newly unlocked powers to raise a submarine from the ocean. In fact, the climax to First Class is one long parade of thrilling moments as the team triumphantly conquer their fears and master their powers.

3/ With the exception of the Wolverine vs Deathstrike fight from X2, the action is much more exciting and more varied than what's come before. Whether it's Erik's attack on villain Sebastian Shaw's yacht, the Hellfire Club's invasion of the Men In Black CIA facility, the Russian mansion raid or the action stuffed finale...the set pieces are dramatic, involving and original.

4/ The cast is superb from top to bottom with Michael Fassbender perfectly complementing McAvoy in a performance that's just as charismatic as his counterpart, but with a determined intensity rather than a posh superiority. In fact, this is the film that finally makes Fassbender deservedly A-list, and the one which clearly dictates that he's the front runner to the James Bond crown when Daniel Craig finally hangs up his hat in a few years.

5/ There's some great cameos from the coolest Hollywood character actors around like James Remar, Michael Ironside and Ray Wise. Plus Rebecca Romjin shows her face for a neat appearance while a certain adamantium touched mutant appears to beautifully deliver the one 'F' bomb you're allowed in a PG-13 release.

6/ The entire cast are wonderful. Jennifer Lawrence exudes a confident sexuality and a hidden vulnerability as a young Mystique, Nicholas Hoult balances his outward geekyness with a simmering frustration of his condition and Kevin Bacon has fun with his playboy super-mutant. January Jones, the ever-gorgeous Rose Byrne and Jason Flemyng get short changed in the running time, but this is really a Professor X and Magneto movie, so their lack of meaty dialogue is understandable.

7/ Style wise this is a very cool movie. The early 60's globetrotting evokes the Connery Bond era, which is echoed in Fassbender's ruthless, Bondian performance. Weaving the plot with the real life events of the Cuban Missile Crisis is inspired. Not only does it add an air of authenticity to proceedings but those events are gripping by themselves...adding a mutant superhero plot just heightens the drama further. The 60's trappings are downplayed for the most part, so it retains a contemporary vibe, much like the Men In Black film series.

8/ The effects work is mostly excellent, especially those provided for the Missile Crisis climax by Peter Jackson's WETA outfit. Others are a little underwhelming, perhaps down to the rushed production schedule, but none as bad as Wolverine's wobbly claws in the disgraceful X-Men Origins feature. There's some retro tunes thrown into the soundtrack, particularly Gnarl's Barkley's hit 'Run' and Henry Jackson's Hans Zimmer-esque score is one of the few recent blockbusters with strong recognisable themes and music cues that work as independent tracks, separate from the film.

Overall this is a fantastic summer blockbuster that has it all; smart, fun, amusing, cool, exciting, thought provoking and touching. It's what summer movies should be all about. For me it ranks alongside X2 as the best X-Men movie (I love the original but X2 trumps it in every way). Singer's film is tonally too different to give it a fair comparison, but as a piece of entertainment it's equally as gripping as X-Men First Class.

Finally, at long last, it's great to be able to say that Twentieth Century Fox have released a great movie. It's their best since Peter Weir's Master & Commander in 2003 (although I Robot, Die Hard 4.0, Borat and of course Avatar, and that's to be commended. Is this the turn to quality we've been hoping for? Possibly. Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes looks pretty darned cool and they've got Cameron Crowe's WE Bought A Zoo, James Mangold's Wolverine and Ridley Scott's Prometheus on the horizon. Only time will tell. But one has to remember this is the same studio that's pinning it's hopes on a third Chipmunks sequel this Christmas. We're not out of the woods yet.

Monolithic Sequel

2010, Peter Hyams 1984 sequel to Stanley Kubrick's classic 2001 A Space Odessey, is either a dumbed down, cynical cash in of the original movie, or a clever sequel and intelligent science fiction thriller in it's own right. Being a fan of Hyams work (Capricorn One, Outland, Timecop) I fall into the latter camp.

It's a far more accessable tale than the more art house and profound Kubrick take on author Arthur C Clarke's material, which has as much to do with it's eccectic cast as Hyams assured direction. Roy Scheider might be playing a top scientist but he's been one of the most charismatic and likable leading men in movies (why the hell wasn't he a bigger star?) He's got great support from a cast of character actors as diverse as John Lithgow, Bob Balaban and Helen Mirren as the Russian Cosmonaut Captain.

Although it's a little dated in terms of look (did computer screens really look that huge?) and story (it's has a familar Cold War plotline mimicing the Cuban Missile Crisis) it's an involving narrative that weaves the enigmatic purpose of the Monolith, the mystery concerning the killer natutre of the HAL 9000 computer and the conflicted nature of human society.

As with a Peter Hyams movies it looks a million dollars thanks to some glourious photography by Hyams himself, some realistic yet futuristic set designs and some career best stuff from Richard Edlund's effects house. Yes it might not leave as much of the subtext to the imagination as Kubrick did, but it's still a facintating exploration of the solar system, the nature of God and mankind's place in the universe.