Wednesday, 27 January 2010

January Pick 'n' Mix - Part 2



With a rumoured Avatar sex scene to appear on the DVD, here's what it may play like...



James Cameron himself promotes his Avatar follow up, co-starring Sigourney Weaver...



Then there's this compilation of the 100 cheesiest lines of all time (there's actually some brilliant one-liners in this lot, including my favorite quip of all time from They Live)...



Anna Faris in Hollywood recession short film...



Wes Anderson's cool acceptance speach for Fantastic Mr Fox...



This amusing Vinnie Jones sketch...



And Adam West doing what West does best...



Monday, 25 January 2010

The Perm Metal Prom Massacre



There are times when watching an Oscar nominated movie seems too heavy going. There are times when watching one of your favorite blockbusters seems like deja vu...after all you might have watched it 500 times before tonight. And there are time when watching a new movie is too risky...after all, if it's boring then it's a waste of 90 minutes. That's where watching crap comes in. Guaranteed to entertain, especially if you haven't seen it in two decades, and never bore you.

Trick or Treat is THAT crap movie. Cut from the same comedy/horror cloth as the Elm Street sequels it has bullied, metalhead, loser 'Ragman' play the final demo of recently deceased, hair-metal legend Sammi Curr. The ghost of Curr initially allows Ragman to get revenge on those high school, jock bullies...but Sammi becomes corporeal again, whenever his music is played, and causes havoc.

God, this is dumb. Why the ghost of a deceased, Ozzy style, heavy metal singer would want to assist a twat like Ragman is beyond me. Surely he'd have better stuff to do?
It thinks it's funny (it's littered with cartoonish sight gags)... but it's not. It's not scary, gory or even remotely disturbing. But what it is, is a cheesy teenage heavy metal fantasy of the fabled institution of 'rock' kicking the popular kid's asses. And with the helps of some spectacularly dated, but amazingly still cool (in a cheesy, marooned forever in a land made of cheese kind of way) Fastway tunes, Trick or Treat made my night. Ozzy himself makes an amusing cameo as a preacher disgusted by suggestive Metal lyrics, while Gene Simmons turns up as a rock D.J.

A film to unintentionally laugh at, as well as watch in the conventional sense, I had a nostalgic ball watching this turkey again. Now if only I could find my copy of Wes Craven's Shocker...

Sunday, 24 January 2010

Precious 2: The Blind Sided Sequel



What is it with deprived-people-make-good, coming of age stories this awards season? There's the middle class Brit version in An Education and there's the abused kid from The Bronx version in Precious...all up for major film awards. Joining that group comes yet another variation on the theme in The Blind Side, starring Golden Globe winner Sandra Bullock. Newcomer Quinton Aaron plays Big Mike, a fat, practically homeless black kid who, with the help of a friends dad, gets into a posh, christian high school based on his athletic abilities. Bullock, feeling sorry for the lad, takes him in to her 2.4 family mansion and selflessly takes on the role of his mother. Sports opportunities soon follow in this true story (aren't they all).

While I've always liked Sandra Bullock I've never seen anything in her body of work to suggest she's capable of an Oscar worthy performance. But The Blind Side does indeed prove there's more to her than rom-coms. Her Leigh Anne Tuohy is an abrupt, no nonsense, plain speaking, stern, force of nature. But, unusually for such a ultra-privileged business woman, her confidence extends to doing what is right, even if it means walking into dangerous inner city neighbourhoods or falling out with her white, elitest, racist friends. It's a different side to Bullock we've rarely seen and, to her credit, she mostly disappears into the role. Hers is a role with an iron exterior, but gets to show the warmth and humor that lies beneath the gruffness.

Tonally this isn't anywhere near as dark as Precious, being a lighter studio friendly, star vehicle. It does, worryingly promote Christian values a little too much at times...but at least shows the darker side of those that would think of themselves as Christians, yet behave in a prejudiced, unhelpful and immoral way.
It doesn't get over sentimental either, staying just the right side of heart warming and uplifting.

The supporting cast, including country and western singer Tim McGraw, Kim Dickens (as yet another teacher who makes a difference) Kathy Bates and newcomer Quinton Aaron all turn in strong roles. But it's Bullock's show and she gets to remind everybody just why she's still on the Hollywood A-list. I'll be honest that I still prefer An Education's Carey Mulligan to run away with the best actress Oscar, but you'll now get no complaints from me if the bird from Speed gets it this year.

Come In Double 'O' Fourteen...Your Time Is Up



My reason for watching The Informant! was because it's directed by Steven Soderbergh and not because I'm trying to catch up with as many potential award winners before the Oscars in February. Strange then, that the overriding thought when viewing this adaptation of a true story is, "Why hasn't Matt Damon been recognised for his fine work with more award nominations?"

Informant is loosely based ("so there!" states a pre-credit disclaimer)on real life informer, Mark Whittaker, who after working with the FBI in the early 90's to bring down a corporate corn producing entity due to global illegal price fixing, decided to profit from his double dealings and make millions. Damon plays Whitaker as a flake. A dreamer. A man who thinks he's far cleverer than he actually is (given a wire taping device he thinks he's 0014...because he's double James Bond's 007) and a man who can never stop lying, no matter the sincerity of all those around him (his wife, colleagues, lawyers, FBI) to tell 100% the truth. Damon is both mesmerising and embarrassing to watch as you see him test the patience and intelligence of those he's both trying to help and trying to deceive.

Soderbergh directs with style, as always. Despite having a 90's setting, the film is shot and designed like a late 70's early 80's piece of cinema, aided by Marvin Hamlish's period style score. Script wise it's rather meandering and a bit repetitive as Damon gets more and more entwined in his own lies. As with most Soderbergh efforts the humor is of the dry and reserved variety...but not always as funny as it thinks it is. Still this is worth watching for Damon alone. He got a Golden Globe nomination for his supporting role in Eastwood's Invictus...but did practically bugger all to deserve it. Here, the man is a legend.

Goats Who Stare At Clooney



The third offering from Mr Clooney, this month, comes in the for of 'The Men Who Stare At Goats', directed by Mr C's long time producing partner Grant Heslov (who you may know better as the middle eastern-looking actor who plays sidekicks in True Lies and Scorpion King...yeah, him). As with Fantastic Mr Fox and Up In The Air it's an amusing, offbeat tale that is told with a straight face and dry humour.

It follows a newly separated reporter (Ewan MacGregor) who, looking for a way to impress and win back his ex-partner, starts investigating the U.S. Army's psychic research brigade. Run by hippy warrior Jeff Bridges, it has psychic soldiers, or 'Jedi' as they'd prefer to be known (including George as well as Kevin Spacey as his rival), developing their skills so that they can brainwash the enemy, locate anything on the planet or kill a man (using goats to practice on) using only the power of their mind.

It's a lightly told comedy drama that's all about finding purpose and belief in ones life. It zips along pleasantly and has a smattering of laugh out loud guffaws amongst the wit and subtle silliness. I especially like Spacey's attempts to develop subliminal DVD's for trainee soldiers, including the one that suggests "not to drive a tank in the desert if high on acid". Nice.

Thursday, 21 January 2010

Listen Bud, He's Got Radioactive Blood



If I'm going to watch one of the three Spider-man movies, it's usually going to be the second movie, as it's a perfect blend of character, action and plot. But with Columbia Pictures announcing that they're dumping Sam Raimi, who's shepherded all of the Spidey movies so far, in favor of a college set reboot, I'd thought I'd check out the first one again.

At the time I though this was THE best superhero adaptation I'd ever seen. As time wore on I felt it was a cliched rather plot that played the 'Universal Superhero Origin Playbook'...step by step. And for that I'm not sure whether that's a good or a bad thing. It being a David Koepp script, it's meticulously structured, condensing plot points and character development into seemingly simplistic scenes. But it's got a three act structure that's all too familiar; hero's background is established, he obtains superpowers and discovers how to apply them for good, then when the parallel story of the super villain comes to fruition...they fight to save the city/the world.

What I'd forgotten about the first movie was how much director Sam Raimi's signature is all over this movie. Raimi has two styles; the off-the-wall craziness of The Evil Dead and the restrained dramatist of A Simple Plan and I'd kind of remembered Spider-Man having a style that was more of the latter, than the former. But that's not so. The tone, while nearly always played seriously, has a heightened comic-book feel throughout. Be it Danny Elfman's Batman-ish score, the wild Spidey-eyed viewpoint as he swings through the city or the maniacal, Deadite inspired cackling of The Green Goblin, this is clearly Raimi's movie. Even more tellingly is the trademark way Raimi puts his lead actor/character through hell (making Peter Parker run for the bus/get bullied at school/pine for Mary Jane as his best mate dates her). This is reallly prominent in the wrestling sequence where poor Parker gets abused in and out of the ring...I love it where the poor guy even has to argue his name...originally The Human Spider! Raimi is the other kids on the bus. And he's the wrestling audience...laughing all the way at Parker's misfortune. Of course, with a character this beaten down, there's a great positive release for the audience when Peter gets to fight back using his new found powers.

I remembered Spider-Man as a pretty standard origin movie. But it isn't. It's better than that thanks to a director whose not afraid to let the disturbing voices in his head tell him what to do, every now and again. Even if that does mean picking on Toby MacGuire for entertainment value. At the time the reboot announcement was made, I felt it a big mistake to restart a franchise that was still at it's very peak of popularity (unlike the Joel Schulmacher butchered Batman franchise which required a Christopher Nolan resuscitation kit). Now they're replacing Raimi, it's highly unlikely we'll see a movie that comes close to Raimi's vision. But here's hoping...

Loom With A View (To A KIll)



I haven't watch Wanted since it's initial cinema release...although I can't fathom why as it's ultra-violent batshit fun from start to finish. It adapts prolific comic book scribe Mark Millar's tale of an everyday white collar office worker who discovers he has a destiny as an assassin employed by fate itself. It's the usual mythic structure of average guy with father issues who is pre-ordained to get trained up in the ways of killing people in cool ways...to fight evil.

The cast is amazing from the appropriately non-pretty boy looks of McAvoy (struggling with a yank accent, or is it just me?) to the elegant intensity of Jolie (in Tomb Raider action mode) to the devious classiness of Assassin boss, Morgan Freeman.

The real star, of course, is Russian import director Timur Bekmambetov, fresh off of the fantastic Daywatch and Nightwatch. Like Raimi, Jackson, Burton and Nevildine & Taylor...Bekmambetov is one of those rare breed that can think outside of the box; how he edits, where he places the camera...never being afraid to defy physics, reality and common sense in pursuit of a great shot. So gunmen can leap through a 50 storey window to the adjacent rooftop 100 feet away, can flip cars through 360 degrees whilst performing a gruesome hit and (in a truly astonishing sequence) trains can plunge thousands of feet down a near bottomless gorge...only to have the occupants still ready to scrap once more.

On the downside this has a touch of the "Hard Targets" about it. Like John Woo's debut there's a feeling that with a better understanding of the English language, a more sophisticated, less bullshity tone might have emerged (not the nutty Loom of Fate thing...more so the dialogue).
But it's only a minor gripe. Best of all is the "get a life" message that is the spine of the plot. How many of us end up in boring admin jobs when we want to be out there living the dream. Maybe a career in assassination isn't the answer but it sure looks pretty goddamn attractive as presented here.

The Slutty Life Of Dorian Gray - Aged 84 and 3/4



I was familiar enough with the premise to Oscar Wilde's novel " The Picture of Dorian Gray" but had never read it, or watched an adaptation that dealt with the story specifics of the 19th century narcissist. Handily, along comes Oliver Parker's cinematic version of the book, to give me my answers.

Basically, the plot is great (worth of it's illustrious status) while the film is distinctly average. I've put of writing this particular blog update because I couldn't think of much to enthuse or criticise about. The film is solid. Average. It does the business but little more. Well done. Nice job. Do better next time.

The cast are fine with (surprisingly) Colin Firth standing out as the bloke that initially puts Dorian on his immoral questionable path. Rebecca Hall is a down-to-earth presence that's welcomed in the film's final third while Ben Barnes looks the part as Mr Gray himself. His descent from the confidence-lacking teen to smarmy Lothario is convincing but struggles to show the inner moral conflict the Dorian endures. The film's period setting feels authentic thanks to some strong production design and unembarrassing CGI.

If you're unfamiliar with how this plays out, or are partial to a good Victorian supernatural fantasy, you could do worse than to check this out.

Sunday, 17 January 2010

Daybreak Of The (Un)dead



Now this is what I'm talking about. I was never a great fan of classic, romanticised vampire stories. They only became interesting when films and TV started exploring how vampires really would survive in a bustling, modern, contemporary world. Movies like Blade and television like Buffy and Ultraviolet either built the monsters into a contemporary setting, allowing the creatures to interact like normal, everyday people. Or, add a scientific perspective to vampire lore. Daybreakers, the new film written and directed by talented Ozzies The Sperig Brothers, does this too...taking the concept to the extreme.

Daybreakers presents a world where 95% of the population are now vampires. The remaining 5% of humans are hunted down for food...where they're inserted into mechanised farms to 'milk' every drop of blood from them. However, with humans now in short supply, vampires face a food crisis...or they face devolving into animalistic, bat-like bipeds. Vampire, human sympathiser, blood scientist Ethan Hawke searches for a blood substitute...until he encounters some human refugees who think they may have a cure.

I loved this film. It's a great premise for a science fiction film. The Sperig's explore their world in a cinematic way with minimal dialogue, showing how the world has adapted to a population that can't go out in sunlight and feeds on blood enriched foodtypes. The rules are slowly laid down; vampires still don't cast a reflection (even in the scientific world), they can exist is shadow...just not in direct sunlight, and vampirism is spread via the bite of the attacker.

It being science fiction, there's room for much social commentary and metaphor in the subtext. Oil and food is represented by blood in the Daybreakers universe...were running out of both fast and in the next decade we ourselves face a crisis unless we can find more sustainable substitutes. There's political references to Iraq along with a criticism of the Corporate world...not looking to solve the shortage of vital resources...but rather profit from it. After all, why make something free when someone is willing to pay for it. It's stuffed with little details like how the third world and lower classes suffer first, in such catastrophes. It's such a good premise, it's a wonder it hasn't been explored before.

Plot wise, it's a little by the numbers...but does contain enough attention to character, whether it's Hawke's with his bother, or vampire corporate baddie Sam Neill's relationship with his, still human, daughter Isabel Lucas. The film looks good with the steel and neon of the vampire's urban world contrasting nicely with the natural hues of the human's country life. There's some cool digital matt paintings to expand the vampire cities, helping to explain how their town works from day to day while the Sperig's themselves provide some gory makeup (gotta love it when Mr Neill meet his demise).

A great little movie, that's far more serious in tone than I'd expected (the Sperig's last movie was Undead, a Raimi-esque zombiefest), but with all the quality in writing direction and acting that I'd have hoped. Only thing is, where do you take the modern vampire film now?

Waste Of A Good Dolph



I feel cheated. I feel swindled. In order to watch Universal Soldier: Regeneration, the third movie starring Jean Claude Van Damme as Luc Devereaux, I thought I'd have to watch the second movie 'Return' to ensure I was up to speed. Three things have now come to light. That Universal Soldier: The Return is shit. That it in no way explained what happened to Devereuax in the intervening years since the first movie. And that Universal Soldier 3 has NOTHING to do with the second film, making that experience a waste of my life (except to warn you good people).

Regeneration has a second generation of Unisol, which is appropriately unstoppable, assist some Russian freedom fighters as they take control of the abandoned Chernobyl reactor and threaten to release a lethal radiation cloud. The Unisol program has been shut down, so the remaining first generation Unisols are sent in to take down the big bad (played by Andre 'The Pitball' Arlovski)...which they spectacularly fail to do. So they track down Van Damme's Devereaux, who is undergoing treatment to deprogram him from his killing ways, and make him a bad ass once more.

There's two sides to this film. On the positive side, it's a good thriller with a serious tone, solid direction (from son of Peter Hyams, John) and a strong central nuclear blackmail plot. As an action film it's less bullshitty and more adult...there aren't any electric guitars accompanying the fisticuffs on this one.

As a character story, it's a failure. Van Damme who was home, pretty much human and happy at the resolution of the first film is an unhappy, introverted, near catatonic zombie at the beginning of Regeneration...and that's BEFORE he gets converted back into an emotionless killing machine. Some emotional journey. Lungren makes a cameo as a cloned soldier designed to bodyguard the rogue Unisol scientist. It makes no sense why the scientist would recreate a soldier that had gone psycho...or why he's surprised when Dolph goes nuts again. It's just an excuse to have the boys come together for a scrap...and when it does it's completely anti-climatic.

Still it could be much much worse. Yes Universal Soldier The Return...that means you.

Matthew Modine Walks The Plank



Cutthroat Island, Renny Harlin's pirate movie from 1995, is the biggest box office flop of all time, according to the Guinness book of records. In the day it cost $115 million to produce and took in a mere $10 upon it's release. It sank it's production company (behind Total Recall and Terminator 2)and almost ruined star Geena Davis as a bankable star (it took a further collaboration with her then hubby, Harlin, to finish the job).

Even before production, the signs weren't good. Because of the unoriginal, humorless script which presented the male lead as a selfish, struggling-to-catch-up sidekick...Harlin couldn't attract a bankable A-list star to the project (Michael Douglas, for one, walked away). Meaning that along with his wife Harlin cast Matthew Modine, the nerdy star of Full Metal Jacket. At this time there hadn't been a hit Pirate movie in decades and female action stars didn't yet exist in mainstream cinema (it would take a few more years for the Buffy effect to kick in). Indeed the leads aren't up to carrying the massive adventure movie; Davis is ok, but wooden and awkward on occasion while Modine barely make an impact in what should be a sparky, fiery double act.

But...and it's a big but...Cutthroat Island is amazing on a technical level, giving the Pirates Of The Caribbean movies a run for their money in scale and scope. It's huge. Three full size tall ships. Two Jamaican towns...both blown to crap with canons and gunpowder. Storms. A carriage chase. Bar fights. The film looks incredible; gritty, lush photography, faultless effects miniatures and John Debney's sweeping score...still his best.

Like Jurassic Park two years before, the idea here was to revive an extinct genre using the techniques and style of modern cinema. So Harlin injects all the slow-motion and explosions he can muster (truly mixing the 90's bullshit action movie with a pirate blockbuster). With the added brilliance of Frank Langella's baddie Dawg, it's amazing in retrospect that this didn't make more money. In today's market, where Stephen Sommers can shit out an overblown action epic in his sleep, Cutthroat would easily earn back it's budget at the box office, if released this summer. Even with the curse of the Modine.

Saturday, 16 January 2010

Snoochie Boochie Noochies!



You either get Kevin Smith films or you don't. They're nearly always structured like a rom-com, feature seemingly random events with characters talking in a witty, pop culture-referencing, naturalistic, foul mouthed banter. Judd Apatow, the director of The 40 Year Old Virgin, seems to have nailed the style and made a huge commercial success out of it. But Smith's work, including Zack & Miri Make A Porno, Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is still the grand master.

Mallrats, his second feature, is still his funniest, if not his best (Clerks 2). It expands upon his debut, Clerks, by having slacker kids hang around a shopping mall causing mischief, discussing life and pondering the fate of their love lives. Smith has never had much flair with the camera (he admits as such), but the still camerawork allows the perfectly timed slapstick and profanity strewn speeches to work uninhibited.

Highlights include the quick-to-anger Jason Lee 'stink-palming' bad guy Michael Rooker, Jay and Silent Bob's attempt to defeat mall security guard LaFours, the Stan Lee pep talk, Ethan Suplee's frustrated loser, the topless fortune teller and the Blind Date style finale. Laugh out loud hilarious in an unconventional way...if you've never seen a Kevin Smith movie, you could do yourself a favor and watch Mallrats.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue...F**k You Whore!



(500) Days Of Summer which is concisely explained in it's movie poster tag line...Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn't. It stars likable, everyman Joseph Gorden-Levitt along with the kooky and cute Zooey Deschanel. When he meets her at work, Levitt is immediately drawn to Deschanel. However, not believing in the concept of love, she's content with simply friendship...even if that definition extends to all the things you'd expect in a relationship....including sex.

This could quite easily have become just another rom-com for Vince Vaughan or Reece Witherspoon to sleepwalk through, but thanks to an outstanding script and an inventive, first time director, 500 Days is a must-watch reinvention of a depressingly tired genre. For a start it's whimsically narrated, told in a non-linear fashion (flicking back and forth through the 500 days of the story...day 1 being the day he meets Deschanel's Summer) and littered with amusing, insightful inserts which punctuate the main narrative. Like Family Guy or Ally McBeal, these oddities make 500 Days unpredictable and energetic...not since Shaolin Soccer or Clerks 2 have I seen an impromptu dance sequence spring to life on screen. The dialogue is witty, benefiting from a more adult rating, while the story is tense with possibilities. Will Zooey see the light of day and embrace their love...after all it seems genuine enough? Or will Joseph see sense, and let her go...after all she's been honest and upfront with him about their relationship status. Deschanel has the harder job, as she could appear to be stringing poor Levitt along, but she gives Summer a straight-forwardness and radiance that's hard not to like.

There's a cool soundtrack, a classily photographed New York backdrop and colourful supporting characters, this feels a little like Swingers or Wedding Crashers; a rom com that blokes will enjoy.

The Cage Is Unlocked And The Cage Is Unleashed!



This blog is awash with opinions on Nicholas Cage. Love him or hate him, at least the man usually puts some effort in, even if the film's not up to much. Perhaps he was trying to make amends for Bangkok Dangerous, where Cage made no effort at all, but his performance in Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans is one of the most extreme he's ever delivered. If you are of a nervous disposition, have a weak heart, or simply hate it when Nicholas Cage overacts (Face/Off, Ghostrider, Snake Eyes)then avoid this at all costs.

For the rest of you, this Bad Lieutenant movie (not related at all to Abel Ferrera's original) is a slimy plotted police procedural about an investigation into a multiple murder. However, nuts director Werner Herzog, is more interested in the ups and downs of Cage's Terry McDonough. He gambles, he gets free drugs wherever he can get it...either by smuggling cocaine out of the precinct's evidence room, shaking down dealers on the street and taking their stash or arranging profitable protection deals with the local drug lord, Xzibit. He delights in breaking rules, letting blackmailing sluts shag him in the street, if it'll prevent their own arrest, and roughing up little old ladies for information. His dads in rehab, his step mother's an alcoholic and his girlfriend's a high class hooker (the sexy Eva Mendes).

It's a good cast with Mendes and Xzibit joined by Val Kilmer, Fairuza Balk, Brad Dourif and Jennifer Coolidge all peeping out from behind Cage's shadow. Director Herzog throws in some surreal, trippy sequences of Alligators and Iguana's that McDonough is drawn to...just to stop things getting to conventional.

Things eventually come crashing down for Terry...how could they not, but he also miraculously navigates to good times too. Well nearly. Depending on you point of view, someone needs to give Cage a lifetime achievement award...either at the Oscars or at the Razzies. Because, God knows, the man deserves one of them.

Skool Daze With Sally Sparrow



I mainly wanted to see "An Education" because of lead actress Carey Mulligan. Partly because of all the awards season buzz she's been getting off of this, but mainly due to her brilliant performance in the classic episode "Blink" in BBC's science fiction drama Doctor Who.

Having seen the movie now, I'm relieved that Blink wasn't a fluke. Mulligan stars as Jenny...in a film that has, essentially, the same coming of age structure as the movie Precious...except, rather than examining the bottom of society's barrel...it looks at the rigidity and boredom of well-to-do, middle class England in the 1960's. Jenny has loving parents and a bright future (she's studying successfully to get into Oxford). Then she's picked up by Peter Sarsgaard's David, who courts the sixth-former by showing her the sophisticated side of life; classical concerts, fine restaurants, Parisian cigarettes, champagne and designer clothes. As the friendship, and then romance progresses, she starts to question the need for an education...asking her parents and teachers what the life value of attending Oxford really is.

The tone is surprisingly quite lively with the cast contributing considerably to the lightness of the piece. Alfred Molina is great as Jenny's dad, proud and assertive...before becoming less certain and bumbling in the presence of an upper class person. Sarsgaard, a dull actor I've never much liked, does an impressive British accent, Emma Thompson does a cameo as the headmistress like she was born into the role, while Dollhouse's Olivia Williams impresses in the archetypal role of 'teacher that helps student, but doesn't have to'.

Mulligan is of course the star and doesn't disappoint. She's luminous, carrying every scene with presence and confidence. She can do it all. Funny, vulnerable, assertive, coy, angry and thoughtful...even with no dialogue you can see the brain working behind Jenny's eyes. Genuine female stars don't emerge very often. I'm talking Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, Ann Hathaway in Princess Diaries and Sandra Bullock in Speed...you may not like those movies but those girls displayed an authentic x-factor that ensured success, critical acclaim and longevity in the industry.

World...meet Carey Mulligan.

Precious - Based On The Novel Fat Bird By Me



Another awards season...another miserable drama with a 'heartwarming' ending. The long titled "Precious - Based On The Novel Push By Sapphire" is a gritty urban drama about a long suffering teenage, New York girl (Precious). She's over-weight, is physically and mentally abused by her mother, bullied by schoolmates, is friendless and is expecting her second child...impregnated by her own father. Things start looking up when a concerned teacher suggests she enrol at a special needs school.

It's dark stuff, but it is given energy from some glossy photography, some surreal fantasy sequences (which Precious retreats to when the physical abuse gets too much to bear...saving the audience from the brunt of it too) and a defiant performance from actress Gabourey Sidibe, in the title role. The other performances are strong too with both Lenny Kravitz and Mariah Carey delivering decent work (Carey in particular has an acting future if she continues to pursue 'character' roles like this.) Deja Vu and Mirrors, Paula Patton, is wonderful too...adding a balance of true class, sternness and a soft side as the teacher that picks up the pieces when things really start falling apart. The stand out is comedienne Monique, as Precious's Mum Mary. She's a monster. A lazy, selfish, abusive monster...and it's all credit to Monique for making us hate her...and for allowing us to glimpse inside to see how such a foul person got this fucked up.

It's one of those watch once movies. Incredibly worthy, extremely well made...but so grim in story and in tone that once is enough...thank you very much.

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Streetfighter Vs Black Dynamite



With the imminent release of a third Universal Soldier movie, this time reuniting stars Jean Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren, I thought I'd better check out the first sequel, Universal Soldier: The Return.

Oh dear. Unlike Roland Emmerich's first Universal Soldier, 'Return' has absolutely no aspirations to be an epic, A-list action movie. This is cheap, dumb (and not in that fun way, I so enjoy) and crap. JCVD's character Luc Deveraux now works as a chief consultant on a revived Unisol project. The super soldiers are now controlled by mega-computer S.E.T.H. But the oversized Mac goes all War Games, Devereaux (along with yet another female reporter) just has to hold on to the termination codes for 8 hours, in order to shut off the silicone bad boy. To make matters stupider, S.E.T.H. transfers his programming into the souped up frame of one Michael Jai White...just so we can get a big face off, at the end.

It's directed with all the flair of a dire '80's cop show and acted with a fraction of the talent behind an American daytime soap. Half the time is spent enclosed in a confined, Canadian warehouse...where they escape to a hospital (where all the orderlies look like wrestlers)...to then return to the cramp confines of the Canadian warehouse. The action is generic and accompanied by some cool metal tracks, which, unfortunately, just dumb the thing down even more.

It will now take all of my will power to watch the next installment. Or if I'm lucky, a Unisol might strike me down now...

Once Upon A Time There Lived A Phedo...



I wasn't quite sure what to expect from Peter Jackson's interpretation of Alice Sebold's novel, The Lovely Bones. The reviews have been mixed, to say the least, and it seemed that Jackson might have lost his touch in a dream project that had got out of hand. No so, as The Lovely Bones is a fantastic piece of film-making that can proudly stand alongside Jackson's other achievements (I'm talking Heavenly Creatures no Meet The Feebles).

The story follows Susie Salmon (like the fish, as she reminds us) who is murdered by the local nutter, on her way home from school. As her family struggle to cope with their grief, Susie looks on from her own, personal heaven, a limbo state she will eventually leave, once her life on earth is resolved.

The film's tone is somewhat surprising, given the subject of child murder, but it is very welcome and successful. Rather than a grim, kitchen sink approach to the subject matter, Jackson treats this fantastic tale as, well, a fantasy. It has the quality of a dark fable...a Brothers Grimm fairy tale. From the heroine's whispered voice over, Jackson's colour grading of the celluloid (adapted to the emotion of each scene), the 70's decoration and furnishings (as if setting it in another world, not just another time) to the obvious surrealism of Suzie's heavenly landscapes. This could have been just another traumatic family drama with lots of ranting, sobbing and misery, but Jackson elevates proceedings to an almost romanticised level, embedded the subtext from ground level, in the script, right up through to Brian Eno's hypnotically ambient score...all helping to capture a dream-like quality (or nightmarish, depending on the situation). So, it doesn't present a down and dirty, harsh view of the world. More, a heightened reality from where it explore it's themes.

More than once, The Lovely Bones seems to be concentrating on the wonder of 'life', and not depressing nature of death, as it's morbid plot might indicate. In an early sequence, we see Susie take her suffocating brother to hospital. It's not a moment of unrelenting hysteria and emotional high stakes, yet one of exhilaration; a dangerous yet upbeat moment that is part of life's roller coaster. Classic songs intersect the story, notably The Hollies "Long Tall Woman" which adds an energetic vibrancy to the film, even after Suzie's death.

And Susie's journey is one of fully embracing life..."to keep going until it's done", as her father tells her, which is embodied in her quest for that, elusive first kiss. I love the way, at the films climax, that we're led to believe (as the slimy git rolls the combination safe, containing her remains, towards a bottomless pit) that Susie's reason for remaining in afterlife limbo, is to see her murderer get caught. It isn't. To this, she's always been an observer, watching her father investigate or noticing how her killer operates. Where she's intervened in the living world, is through the plot device of Ruth Connors (by touching her hand, and finally, by possessing her) to achieve that celebration of life, the kiss, that had eluded her after her death. This theme is further represented in Susie's clothing, all bright yellows and blues, which again represents her lust for life, and not any negative outlook she may have.

If the film has a theme, it's one of 'letting go', a subject matter not too dissimilar to Spielberg's afterlife fantasy Always. The opening shot shows us a toy snowman in a snow globe who, as Susie's dad tells us, is perfectly happy in his little bubble. The rest of the main characters have their little bubbles too which
, initially, they're happy in. Jackson uses strong iconography (further strengthening the visual impact) of the film, to represent this. So Dad, Jack Salmon, has the bubble of his self-driven murder investigation, represented by the ships in bottles, that he makes. Creepy Mr Harvey has the bubble of the murder of women, represented by a house (his own green property, the house on Susie's stolen bracelet, and the dollhouses/bird hides/children's dens that he constructs). Susie's Mother's bubble is everything outside of Susie's room, since she's unable to confront the loss of her daughter (so the room itself represents her world). And Suzie herself has the abstract depiction of 'heaven', itself focusing on the safe confines of a bandstand.

All of these characters are initially content within these confines until unhappiness descends as they're unable to break away...to let go of their needs or obsessions. For her parents, the key to letting go is by embracing life, and each other; to recognise that the remaining family members are still the key to happiness. For Mr Harvey, even in his final moments he's trapped in his bubble, when fate...or is it a spiritually foretold (the icicle is a strong, recurring motif) moment of intervention (is it Susie?) ends his life (funny the way he's almost literaly become the snowman in the snowglobe, with the heavy snowfall, except his bubble has become the death of him). Even Susie's grandmother has a bubble, that of retaining her youth and staying drunk but she seems to be the only one who's happy to stay that way.

The film is full of motifs which resonate throughout the film. The safe is her makeshift coffin, and the symbol of Mr Harvey's secret...locked away. The heavenly tree represents life, which Susie must go beyond, if she is to let go of her personal purgatory, and be at spiritual rest. Then there's the rose, which too becomes to mean innocent life, which Harvey thinks he wants to care for, but ultimately wants to let die. These symbols also materialise in the dream world, intruding in Susie's consciousness so that she's alerted to earthly events (the bottled ships spectacularly smashing upon the shore as her fathers frustrations reveal themselves)...and we the audience are told of Susie's emotional state this way too. I never once thought the CGI dreamscapes overstayed their welcome. Rather they helped tell the story in an original and beautiful way, while fitting in to the fairytale context of the film's style. In fact, for Susie's character to participate in an emotional arc, the CG landscape is one of the tools needed to convey her journey. Without it, she's just a narrater. But with it, we get to feel the hopefulness ,isolation, fear and joy of Susie Salmon.

The cast are strong. Saoirse Ronan is perfectly cast as Susie. Her soft vocal tones and striking eyes capture Susie's innocence, yet strength of will. Mark Whalberg does a decent job as her father Jack, never lettiong the character's obsessions turn the driven self-styled detective into an unsympathetic Dad. Sarandon gets to have a lot of fun while Stanley Tucci steals the show as Mr Harvey, the uncomfortably, nearly-but-not-quite-normal monster that kills Susie. Rachel Weisz is fine as Susie's mother, but it's with this character that the movie makes it's one big mistake. The role of Abigail Salmon is tragically under used. Perhaps there are Abigail scenes on the cutting room floor, but her abandoning of the family, and subsequent return never feel convincing. The character has little screen time to make her story arc work, and Weisz, good she may be, is unable to convey what is required.

However, there's some fantastic scenes woven throughout The Lovely Bones; Susie's face to face encounter with her crush, Ray, in school. Her post murder panic, running through the streets, not realising she's dead. Whalberg lighting a candle...and the resulting flicker. And the masterclass of tension that has her sister Lindsay, who's taken up the murder investigation, breaks into Mr Harvey's house to uncover some evidence. There are many of these, some visual, some musical...all great.

Tense, moving, sad and poignant...it's great stuff. Not a gut-wrenching examination of the horror of murder (there's plenty a movie ot there if you want that...just see The Road), but a willfully theatrical, but ethereal, bedtime story, that stays with you long after Susie says 'goodbye'. It won't be to every one's tastes, and I suspect there's a deeper director's cut in existence, but this is a wonderfully original work for a talented, original artist.

Laughterville Not On This Road



Post-apocalyptic movies have brought us the joys of Road Warriors (Mad Max), mutant fish men (Waterworld), domed cities (Logan's Run) and ultra-cool Noah's Arks (2012).
Not so with John Hillcoat's The Road which presents an unnamed man and his son struggling to survive in a near deserted future where everything, including the animals, insects and plants have all but died off in a global catastrophe.

This is grim, bleak stuff which sees man and son bounce from one episodic occurance to the next, as they travel to the coast in search of, perhaps, a future. Food is rare and they spent plenty of energy scavenging for anything at all to consume. Unfortunately, food is so scarce that cannibalism has been adopted by roaving gangs as a survival method. Therefore, other people are not to be trusted either. Survival is the key.

The reason the movie isn't completely depressing is down to the great performances of Viggo Mortenson (impressively slimmed down to the point he's gonna give Christian Bale some competition) and alert and talented Kodi Smit-McPhee, as his boy. The father not only tries to pass on survivalk tips, in the eventuality he'll die, but also more spiritual advice about good and bad, hope and determination, as well as about God. However Viggo's morality and his survival philosophy aren't always compatible, leading to the occasional conflict between the two.

It's essentially a stripped down, coming of age drama with the facinating dynamic at the centre. There is some releif in all of the gloom, and never without a sence of hope for the characters. Not a joyful evening of entertainment then, but a solid drama wrapped up in a familar premise.

Caster Troy Movie Joy



No, this is what I call a Nicholas Cage movie! He gets two roles for the price of one; Castor Troy the nutso terrorist and loyal brother. And failing family man/elite FBI agent Sean Archer. Of course, this being the movie where he gets to swap faces/characters, he does so with, the nearly...but not quite so insane, John Travolta.Given that director John Woo has a taste for the over-theatrical, it's no wonder both boys go for it. And great they are too.

Woo himself finally nails a story and a style the perfectly combines a relatively serious Hollywood thriller with that of his ultra-stylised, mythical shoot-'em-ups.
On a visual level, he's reigned in the photography, presenting something less colourful and over the top. The script is less bullshit too, choosing to explore the dramatics of both the main protagonists, along with the repercussions of their colleagues, friends and family. For a high concept sci-fi action film, it really doesn't have to do this (just look at TimeCop and The Running Man) but it's a better, richer movie for doing so.

On the other hand, Woo embraces the cinematic techniques to the maximum, that he had shunned in Broken Arrow. Like Guillermo Del Toro did before (with Hellboy II), he realised, in order to fully succeed, he had to stop sanitising his work for the US studio system and show-off what made him a director of worth. So, along with the slow-mo comes, over lapping sound and dialogue, montage and unconventional editing, high concept iconic shots and those bloody huge sparks that fly off of everything when a stray bullet hits.

The action set pieces are HUGE, with the airport, the loft apartment and the boat chase being particularly impressive, and the CGI is kept in the background so as to not detract from the beautiful stuntwork on display.

Woo's American masterpiece. Even with MI:2 after this, he never made a better in the U.S.

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

Big Kok, No Bang...



The thing about Nicholas Cage movies is you never know what you're gonna get. Well, that's not quite true. It might be a great movie (Face/Off) or it might be a crap movie (National Treasure)...but at least you can count on Nicky being entertaining...to chew the scenery or to back his eyes bulge occasionally.
At least I thought so until I saw Bangkok Dangerous. It's a movie about a hitman who, as is required by the genre, takes one final job before retirement.

This is one of the most boring action thrillers I've seen in a while. The plot never ventures outside of familiar territory, the film looks as drab as it plays and the cast seem to be talentless Bangkok hobos. Cage's hitman has rules...that he ends up not following, of course. But his motivations for ballsing up his own life are never convincing, as is his seemingly amateurish skills as an assassin.

Worst of all though, Cage is sedated. Low-key. Sleep-walking. Just when we need him the most. Nicholas, you have betrayed me. Don't do it again, sonny, or I'll be hiring some one to take you out (no, not to Dorking).

Monday, 11 January 2010

The Mother-Cussing Mr Fox



And there I was thinking that Pixar's "Up" might walk away with the big animation honours in the upcoming awards season. Then Fantastic Mr Fox bounded up to me and I'm not so sure. It's difficult to compare quality because they're such different beasts. Up is a classically directed tale with a powerful emotional core.

Mr Fox isn't. This has indie director Wes Anderson's distinctive stamp all over it. The Kurickian shot framing, the whiplash recomposition of frames, the still, immobile camera plus the way characters talk directly into camera. Then you've got his script which, storywise, considerably elaborates on the plot of a clever fox stealing from three local farmers. Dialogue-wise...it's odd. Odd to the point I doubt if kids will get half of it. The discussions are very grown-up in nature, not in pervy way, but in all the talk of real-estate deals, career discussions and relationship debates.

Then there's the quirky humour. Half of this emerges from the subtly ironic, naturalistic banter (actually recorded on location for a more authentic vibe). The other from Anderson's pivoting, dollying camera....recomposing the shot to reveal the gag. Add to that some cool, vintage tunes, some surreal storytelling shots and a wholesale embracing of all things 'odd', and you've got yourself an animated classic.
George Clooney is great in the lead while Meryl Streep, Michael Gambon, Willen Defoe and Bill Murray have fun supporting roles.

Even if kids don't quite get the details in the dialogue, they'll be won over by the offbeat, old school, puppeted animation. It's doesn't get too dark (choosing light, comedic peril over making kids wince with tension) and the emphasis is always on the fun. Think the tone of another caper movie, The Italian Job. With foxes and badgers.

Funny throughout...I wanted to rewatch this again when I'd finished. Oh, and of course there's the swearing joke. The animal inhabitants of Anderson's universe swear,a lot, using a technique usually reserved for adult science fiction shows (which use Frak, Frell, Goram and Smeg to convey a swear word). Here the word is 'cuss'. Yep, you have to see it to believe it. So go see...

John Woo's Guide To Helicopter Explosions



Poor John Woo. He tried to make it in the U.S. of A, but never managed to completely transfer his majestic style in a way that American studios would accept. His American debut, Hard Target, was high on style, but lacked the psychological themes and the mythic tone that had defined his recent Hong Kong work. Better was his follow up, Broken Arrow, a big budget, military heist movie with a treacherous Air Force Major stealing two nukes from his own stealth plane. In true Die Hard tradition, it's up to his co-pilot to retrieve the bombs and get bring him man in...dead or alive.

If it sounds like a western, it pretty much is. The film's located in Arizona, the location for many a gunslinging adventure, and Woo also includes a sheriff (er, ok, a park marshall)to make sure we get the idea.

Travolta pulls out all the stops for his charming, slimy, scenery-chewing traitor while Christian Slater is all movie star coolness as his ex-partner/friend who's determined to stop him. I feel sorry for ol' Slates...he doesn't have much range as an actor but he's always likable...no matter what crap he's in. Samantha Mathis is darned pretty as the leading lady of the law, but she's stilted and awkward...which is amplified next to the naturalistic Slater.

This is dumb, action movie making on a big scale and all the better for it. There's loads of cliched one liners ("I wish I was coming with you!"), zero characterisation and a board room of military generals that look like they've been transplanted directly from Under Siege or Air Force One. Woo's trademark directing style has been stripped away leaving a movie that's often signatureless. However, enough of the film is pepper with sufficient slow motion to let you know who's in control. The mythic feel makes a grand return too, aided by Hans Zimmer's bombastic and, in places, haunting score.

This is no nonsense, brainless action film. Just action set-piece, after set-piece after set-piece. And just look at Woo's enthusiasm for blowing shit up. Four helicopters get wasted in this. Wanna know how to destroy a chopper, look no further.
Spectacular fun.

January Pick N Mix



Here's some amusing movie related stuff that's come to my attention over the lasy could of weeks.

First off, here's a guy who provides us with a guide to doing your own Avatar make up...for dudes...



Then there's this classic mash up, combining Kevin Smith's Clerks dialogue with footage from Revenge of the Sith.



Then there's this link to The Nicholas Cage Adventure Boardgame...hours of fun for all the family... http://brandonbird.com/adventure_set.html




Then there's this cool Classic-style Battlestar ad for an American cable channel...



The amazing Terminator 2 rap from those clever people that brought you the Predator and RoboCop raps...



And finally, the mintage Twilight spoof, Three Wolf Moon...

Danger! Unisol's At Work: Beware Of Splinters



Forget Redford and Newman or Gibson and Glover. Universal Soldier is THE titanic double billing of all time. Yeah, man. Van Damme and Lundgren. Both physically outstanding in stature and athletic ability...yet both equipped with the acting ability of a Giant Redwood that's been petrified for 500,000 years.
Van Damme comes off the best, showing off his charisma and screen presence in a (thankfully) low word count role. He's also demonstrates the ability to take the mick out of himself, as well as a strong understanding of comic timing, that has allowed him to succeed as a movie star all these years. It worked for Arnie and it does too for JCVD.
Then there's Dolph. Ah, Dolph. Screen presence he has but not much else. I like him in Masters of the Universe, Rocky 4 and this too, but the entertainment comes from his botched, over-confidant-yet-wooden delivery. The man's always been an acting disaster...but give him credit, it's always been fun watching him try.

As for the movie, it's cheesy, medium budgeted bullshit. Tons of action (the Hoover Dam sequence, the Service Station encounter and the big truck chase are fantastic), lots of gags, Ally Walkers long legs and husky voice...all sewn together by Roland Emmerich's capable direction. It's a really cool concept that still plays really well some 18 years later. Just remember to remove your brain upon pressing your DVD play button.

Sunday, 10 January 2010

King Beowulf & The Eaters Of The Dead



At some point, director John McTiernan started alternating between movie types in his career choices. For every intelligent script he seemed to choose (Medicine Man, The Thomas Crown Affair, Basic) he's choose something, let's say, a little more basic (Predator, Last Action Hero, Rollerball). The latter films tended to be less wordy, more high concept and high on'cheese'. The 13th Warrior, McTiernan's adaptation of the Michael Critchton novel, Eaters of the Dead, is in that category too.

The concept is simple; to retell the mythic Beowulf story as if it really happened...and show how that tale came to be recorded in to history. So the dragon becomes a slithering line of cavalry, armed with flaming torches, the monster become the Wendol (a primitive tribe of cave dwelling cannibals). It being a Critchton piece, it also comments on how humanity struggles to adapt to new cultures and technology (the educated Arab looks down upon the simple Viking folk who in tern look down upon the tribal neo-neanderthals of the Wendol).

Banderas is fine in the lead, while the supporting cast do well,(but are rarely given a chance to stand out in the script). Each of the 13 warriors are distinct enough from each other to make them recognizable, but this is no Predator where you instantly got to love each of the posse. The whole things got an earthy realistic look and, like Medicine Man, is accompanied by a very fine Jerry Goldsmith score.

As much as I like this film (hell, it's essentially The Magnificent Seven with Vikings...what's not to like?)I'm not sure the directors traditional hand-held style, that is so copied these days, suits an historic tale such as this. It's also got a feeling of being not quite as spectacular as it might have been (but the thing was re-shot and re-edited a bit in post-production).

Still, it's the best Viking movie out there so I'm not complaining.

The "Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz" Man



Prior to Medicine Man in 1992, director John McTiernan had produced 3 classics; Predator, Die Hard and The Hunt For Red October. Not wanting to become known as an action director, he turned his attention to this Amazon set medical drama, in which Lorraine Bracco travels into the rain Forest to assist eccentric researcher Sean Connery in his quest to find the cure for cancer. And then came the lash back, for Medicine Man went on to receive mediocre reviews and disappointing box office.

And I'll never understand why, because it's a fantastic movie, mixing mystery, adventure, science and romance. McTiernan's assured directorial style is all over this piece, using the widescreen format to its most spectacular as his camera glides throughout the production designed jungles. Connery, playing a grumpy git initially...while slowly mellowing as he falls for Bracco, is on top form. Bracco herself took quite a bit of criticism for her uncouth, shrill performance...but it's this that makes her endearing. Her banter and strength of character is what form the backbone of the film, and its down to the ability of each performer that we like them as much as we do, even if we don't agree with their decisions.

Jerry Goldsmith's score is one of his best, elevating proceedings to an almost romantically ethereal level as the scientists travel through the roof of the forest canopy.

With Avatar currently highlighting the damage humanity is doing to it's own survival by destroying the rain forests, it's interesting to see a main stream Hollywood movie tackling it here in the 1990's. It's not subtle, but as the years progress, the warnings presented in these films are coming to pass more and more frequently.

Under-rated.

The John Hurt Tourettes Workshop



Two things must ye know about Inch Chest, a new British 'gangster' movie from the writers and star of Sexy Beast.

1/ It's less a movie and more a filmed 'play'. It''s mostly set in one grungy room in one day. It's about Colin (Ray Winstone), a broken man after his attractive wife Liz (Joanne Whalley) has left him for a young handsome French waiter. Colin's chums (it's implied they're tied in with London's crime scene) kidnap the bewildered Frenchman, and deliver him to Colin for...well, whatever Colin wants to do with him.
While the cinematic convention of a one room story isn't anything new (look at classics Resevoir Dogs or 12 Angry Men), 44 Inch Chest forgoes many of the cinematic tools that could elevate the movie, by making the wordy plot... more visual.

That said, the script is stunning, it being a exploration of love (in various forms of homosexual, friendship, motherly and, of course, marriage). It's also a redemptive tale, which takes Colin slowly into a surreal dreamworld, before being spat out into the harsh reality that his wife's left him.

The cast are uniformly excellent...potential award winners all. Winstone goes through the whole range of the human condition..from a fragile shell of a man to a raging monster. Brit character actors deliver unexpected turns, with John Hurt as the curmudgeonly, foul-mouthed Old Man Peanut, Ian McShane goes highroller and high-camp as gay Meredith, Tom Wilkinson goes chatty and submissive as Archie while Steven Dillane gets the more familiar business geezer role as Mal. If that wasn't enough you even get an utterly crazy Steven Berkoff cameo (would you expect anything less from Berkoff?). There being top class lovies, they get their teeth in to the excellent monologues. It might be talky, but it's never anything less than riveting.
In terms of this script combined with these actors...this is the very definition of value-for-money.

2/ This, surely, has the most frequent use of the word 'cunt' in any motion picture ever. John Hurt is the main culprit here, but all the cast get stuck in with the torrent of profanity. Marvelous.

Give Sin City Hell, Malone



Give Em Hell Malone, the low budget action-noir from director Russell Mulchay (Highlander, The Shadow) really has a hard-on for Sin City. This film wants to be created by Frank Miller so much, it hurts.

It's a hard boiled detective story that's set in the present day (they have mobiles n stuff) but has a 1930's sensibility (clothes, cars, attitude, dialogue). To further make the Frank Miller connection, it caricatures the noir genre...so the hitmen are unstoppable, the hitwomen are sexed up psychopaths, and the plot is dafter than a trouser full of weasels.

Thomas Jane is perfectly cast as gumshoe Molone, out to obtain the mysterious content of a briefcase (Pulp Fiction style). Elsa Patasky is stunningly sultry as the broad tangled up in the mystery, but also impossibly lacking in acting talent. Ving Rhames delivers trademark cool, while Doug Hutchinson, always a solid nutter (The Green Mile/Punisher War Zone) goes too far in the Heath Ledger Joker school of ham.

Flashy but cheap. Cool, but not an ice cold classic. Leave it to Frank Miller next time. And yes, that includes The Spirit.

Die Hard In A Securicor Van



Now this is more like it. An adult action thriller with a high concept set-up, great testosterone fuelled cast and a brief running time so it doesn't outstay it's welcome. In Armored, from director Nimrod Antal (who will go on to direct 2010's Predators) a group of long serving security van drivers (of the Group-4/ Securicor variety) decide to steal the contents of their vans and then pretend they were held up by bandits on route to the depot, thus getting away clean. After leader Matt Dillon convinces his (initially reluctant but financially desperate) Godson Columbus Short to participate the team proceed with the plan. Then a witness is killed by trigger happy Lawrence Fishburne, and Short changes his mind...trying to save lives and scupper their robbery.

This is more hip, edgy drama/thriller than it is an action movie...but it flys by and you're never quite sure of the outcome. As Matt Dillon repeatedly says, there are no baddies in the plot. So, because the charismatic Dillon, Fishburne, Jean Reno and Skeet Ulrich are on the team...you want them to succeed. On the other hand, Short's values are righteous, that you want him to win too. Sigh...can't they all just get along?

Milo Ventimiglia and Fred Ward are on hand to making this one of the coolest ensembles around for a while. I love caper movies, so it's good to see a new twist on a well-oiled format. A great, mid-budget, how-are-they-gonna-get-out-of-that thriller that's worth your time.

The Apprentice...In The Air



All those blessed with appearing in Steven Soderburgh movies all seem committed to starring in sophisticated material from now on. Movies that both appear to the mainstream...but haven't been dumbed down by a committee of dumb studio executives, out to make a quick buck, at the expense of quality. So you have George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Ol' De Niro, he'll make crap if it pays good, but these guys try and find the smart stuff.

So Clooney does it again, this time finding sanctuary in the hands of Juno director Jason Reitman in Up In The Air. It's about a bloke who has no emotional baggage. He has a family he barely sees, an apartment he only spends a few days a year in, no close friends, no wife or kids. He spends the majority of the time working; flying from city to city 'professionally' firing people from employment. And that's the way he likes it, until his way of life is threatened and he has to take young upstart, Anna Kendrick, on the road with him.

This is a light indie comedy drama. With the recent downturn in global economics the release of this movie, with unemployment at its core, couldn't be more timely. Thematically, this is a great redemptive story for Clooney, with the surrounding cast including Jason Bateman (as his boss) and Vera Fermiga (as his love interest) gently nudging the evasive loner. Work, wealth and status, it would seem, are nothing without someone to share it with.

This is subtle, fluffy and witty while it's clear the cast are having fun. Clooney is excellent...although I can't see where all the Oscar buzz is coming from. Clooney, no matter how strong in the part, is always playing Clooney. He's a genuine, 100% movie star and a good actor...but (unlike Ellen Page or Marcia Gay Harden in Whip It) he's no character actor. Credit to Jason Reitman for not delivering on the tired rom-com ending you'd expect from the set up. Despite the light tone, it's deserving of Oscar consideration, especially for it's script. But there's more deserving out there for best actor. Sorry George.

Thursday, 7 January 2010

Whip Me Girls. Whip Me Real Good!



I tend to think the quality of a movie will reveal itself to the audience within the first five minutes. If you're not digging it within that time, you've pretty much got the standard of the film sussed out. With that in mind, I wasn't really getting into Drew Barrymore's directing debut 'Whip It' from the outset. It seemed to be telling an overly familiar story (rebellious teen/coming of age yarn)in a way that was desperate to be a bit 'indie' (ie, the need to be quirky over genuinely funny).

But lead character Bliss, and her team of Roller Derby nutters, her friends and her family won me over. Big time.
It smoothly combines the whole coming-of-age thing (the heartbreak of first love, rebelling against the parents, finding ones own identity) with the cliched sports movie (underdog team on a losing streak, aim to win the championship). Fortunately, the emphasis is on the quirky character drama here, meaning the cliches are minimised. The main story line goes to Ellen Page's Bliss, as the young girl struggling to carve her own future, from underneath the shadow of her domineering Mom. Unusually for this kind of film, all the characters undertake a journey; her parents, her best friend, her rival and even her loopy team mates. It makes for very engaging viewing.

Helping to bring the sparky script to life is a brilliant cast. Ellen Page and Marcia Gay Harden, who plays Bliss' Mom, are two of the most talented, instinctive actors working today..you never quite know in which direction they'll take their characters. In support is a likably aggressive Juliette Lewis as rival 'Iron Maven', the angry and always late Drew Barrymore as 'Smashley Simpson'...along with Daniel Stern, Jimmy Fallon, R&B star Eve, Kristen Wig (a big future in comedy, this one methinks, Andrew Wilson and Zoe (Death Proof) Bell as 'Bloody Holly'.

A very rewarding experience. I wanted to love this movie. I started of really disappointed. And I ended up really, really loving this movie. It's got an uplifting theme about families learning to embrace change, whether that's your own blood or team-mates or your family of friends. And it does it in a way with off-beat character humour, good tunes...and a cast you can't help but love...even the antagonistic ones.

Crime Scene Investigation: Antarctica



If you've seen The Thing, X-Files: Fight The Future or The Thaw, you'll know that our most southern land mass is the location for much weird goings on. However, there's never been a murder on the continent of Antarctica, according to Kate Beckinsale's new murder mystery Whiteout.

This slick whodunit is produced by Dark Castle, producer Joel Silver's low budget branch of Silver Pictures, and stars a solid group of thespians including Gabriel Macht (The Spirit), Alex O'Loughlin (Moonlight) and Tom Skerritt (looking more and more like a grizzled Kris Kristopherson every year). As you'd expect from Gone In 60 Seconds director, Dominic Sena, the film is stylishly shot.

But its all a bit 'so what'....in a CSI-Antarctica kind of way.

The cast are adequate, but uninspired. The action, what few sequences there are, become old very fast. Worst of all is the murder mystery is obvious right from the start. We all know that the least suspicious character at the beginning of the tale (except the hero) is likely to be the killer...and so it is here.

At least there's a gratuitous 'Beckinsale-undressing-for-a-shower' shot to keep us sustained. Class this one as 'strictly average'.

Wednesday, 6 January 2010

Elementary, My Dear Buddy



Sherlock Holmes, the latest version of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's famous detective novels, is produced by Joel Silver...the man who perhaps started the 80's buddy movie phenomenon in 48 hours and Lethal Weapon. Here he combines the established characters and structure of the novels, with the 'buddy movie' sensibility to create a fresh take on a familiar subject.

To do this he's hired Robert Downey Jnr, hot off the success of Iron Man and Tropic Thunder, to play Holmes while his sidekick Watson is played by Jude Law, who seems to have been missing from the mainstream of late. The pair are excellent. Downey gets the Riggs role (the superior partner who's also a tad unpredictable) while Law gets to be the loyal, dependable brother (saves the hero more than once, and puts up with him, despite their differences). It's the banter...the love/hate relationship that provides the meat of this light, adventure romp...and very enjoyable it is too. Downey's British accent, seems a little odd, but it's forgiven considering the eccentricities of his character.

Lock stock's Guy Richie is the man in the directors chair and does a solid job. Sherlock is a 12 rating, plus it's not written by Richie, so it does lack some of the pace and the edginess of his more personal work. But despite the calmer, more linear narrative, Richie paints a rich, textured world for Holmes to inhabit...both in the production design and in the supporting characters littering the plot. Richie still has his trademark moments, where he's allowed to shine (Holme's inner monologue when taking out an opponent in a fight / an explosive trap laid by the baddies on the docklands), but it's less frequenty then, say, Snatch.

Hans Zimmer, who everybody trys to imitate these days, outguns the competition by delivering a score than's both modern and unique...Rachel McAdams is a feisty muse for Holmes (but doesn't appear enough to make the proper impact) and the supernatural red herrings in the plot give way to a more predictable ruse to seize control of the British Empire. For an action comedy, it's a little light on action, but when the set-pieces do arrive they're constantly unpredictable and littered with humor.

This is fun and enjoyable fluff...but it never feels like everybody is 100% committed to delivering the goods. Downey could afford to go madder...as could Richie. And the script needs much more tightening up to compete with the big boys. Hopefully, if Richie & co are back for a sequel (it's surely made enough to justify one) then everybody will be on their A game.