The Rock 'N' Roll Over And Die

Poor Dwayne Johnson. As "The Rock" he was once king of the ring...a true master of the wrestling world. Then he moved to movies. Since then he's proved what a skilled and adept actor he is, delivered a string of modest hits in a variety of genres and slowly weaned the public off of his stage name. However, he's still not broken through into the big time...perhaps because he chooses weak material to star in like Doom, Race To Witch Mountain, Southland Tales and Be Cool (although, to be fair, he is great in all of them).

After taking a cue from Arnie and dipping into the family movie market with the smash hit The Game Plan, Dwayne's taken the kiddy flick route again...only this time it's with Twenieth Century Fox (and we all know what that means). Like The Game Plan (and Junior, Kindergarten Cop, The Pacifier) the joke here is to but an imposing, aggressive beefcake moviestar and put him into an embarrassing situation where he's forced to interact with kids and/or dress and act in a wimpy, non-masculine way. So in Tooth Fairy, Dwayne becomes a, erm, Tooth Fairy.

People have been right to label The Rock as the new Arnie in many respects. He's built like a brick shit house, is very charismatic and is comfortable at poking fun at himself (something Stallone failed miserably at in "Stop! Or My Mon Will Shoot"). But in Tooth Fairy, Dwayne take it too far. I mean, Jesus man...running around in a tutu, talking in a chipmunk like squeak and those abysmal blue tights he has to wear for half the movie. With Tooth Fairy, fun and laughter is replaced with pity and discomfort as we witness a genuinely great movie star oblige his shitty contract and goof around like a twat. You almost feel like a charity hot line number should run regularly at the bottom of the screen urging you to donate generously to save The Rock.

The story is the usual kiddy fair with Dwayne being a selfish realist who's inconsiderate of his ice hockey team mates, fans, girlfriend (a cute Ashley Judd...more movies please) and her kids. When he takes his girlfriend's daughters tooth money to pay for his gambling he's forcefully recruited to become a real tooth fairy for three weeks by Julie Andrews (looking like she wants to use fairy dust to magic herself out of this crap). Of course, Dwayne learns an important life lesson and does good at the end.

As usual with Fox stuff, it's not badly made...just bland, watered down, predictable drivel without an once of originality. The rest of the cast, including Billy Crystal, are going through the motions, although fairy case worker, Hollywood newcomer Stephen Merchant, is chucklesom (although that may be due to his West Country accent). The characters are paper thin, there's no sophistication for an adult audience but like Night at the Museum, it will be fine to shove in front of a six year old on a Sunday afternoon.

Dwayne, this is twelve feet below the bottom of the barrel stuff. Carry on doing kids stuff, after all, you're good at it. But next time...LOOK AT THE SCRIPT!