Time For Your Beddy, Freddy

My strong dislike of Michael Bay's production outfit has been well documented in this blog, as they trawl through the back catalogue of 70's and 80's horror movies, remaking them with tons of MTV style, zero tension, unlikable characters and no scares. This year they've chosen to desecrate Wes Craven's 1984 iconic horror classic A Nightmare On Elm Street. And a predictable job they've done too as the updated Elm Street practically digs up Robert England's bones and rapes them in the graveyard.

The usual Platinum Dunes problems exist here but there's a few bright patches in the darkness. Making dream monster Freddy Kruger a kiddy fiddler in his history seems to be a bold move, yet this seems to be at the expense of him being a child killer instead. The idea of continual sleep deprivation leading to micro naps and then coma is a nice touch, but sadly isn't exploited to create much drama. Rooney Mara makes a cool leading lady, being less high school scream queen and more introverted anti-heroine. But she's undermined by the splitting of hero duties between her and her male friend (as it was similarly screwed up in The Hitcher remake).

The dodgy CGI effects lack the impact of the practical originals, the set pieces taken from Craven's version are watered down photocopies and the story has no sense of pacing, structure or flow. It just exists. Jackie Earl Haley is fine as Freddy but lacks the charisma and gleeful nastiness of Robert England's interpretation.

So I ask myself, at what point will Platinum Dunes be regarded in the same light as al-Qaida. They are the terrorists of horror cinema and must be stopped.