Bring On The Bush. Flick The Bean.

I didn't have high hopes going into the 2007 remake of The Hitcher. For a start I adore the original starring Rutger Hauer, who terrorises a supurb C Thomas Howell.
Secondly, the production company of the remake, Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes, have a habit of making good looking, but ineffective, horror remakes (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre / The Amityville Horror).

And unfortunately, my concerns were justified... The Hitcher sure does look purty...the director's probably an ex music video helmer, but it's completely lacking in atmosphere, suspence or smarts. It follows the original plot, beat for beat, changing the details rather than the major plot points. So rather that a lone male driver picking up a selfless waitress along the way, driver Jim Halsey takes his girlfriend (the leggy Sophia Bush) from the outset.

Part of the problem is the casting of Sean Bean (an actor whose work I admire) as the title character. He lacks the enigmatic charisma of Hauer's original. In stead of the almost-supernatural force of nature the was John Ryder in 1986, Bean is just a naughty man with a bit of stubble. Scary!

CGI roadkill and Nine Inch Nail's songs do nothing to improve the situation. Like other Platinum Dunes efforts, it's not bad...just average. The original was one of those movies that worked because the tension was built slowly...despite Halsey's encounters with the Hitcher, as an audience, you were relieved when he shook the man off and prayed that he could drive fast enough and far enough away to escape Ryder's influence altogether. You could relate to Halsey. And everytime the Hitcher caught up with him, you'd ask yourself...what would I do.

In this version I'd shrug and wait to be butchered. It's the kindest way to treat oneself.