Saturday, 31 December 2011

Best Movies Of 2011



Once again I present my favourite films of the year. As usual it's important to remember that this isn't the BEST films of the year, rather the movies that I've found the most entertaining; not necessarily the best crafted, most awards worthy, or most powerful dramatically, as a professional film critic might see them.

Personally I'm looking for a re-watchablity factor in all these films (do I want to purchase it on DVD for future multiple viewings?) There's a longevity factor to consider as well; I might love the film now but will I still love it in a year from now, or ten years time? Finally there's that highly subjective personal factor that means a film might have a look, or theme, or a story, or characters that talk to my tastes as an individual, more than it might to others who have viewed these films. What I'm trying to say is, this is my list. If you don't like it, go and compile your own!

20/ Real Steel
Rocky with robots is essentially what Real Steel comes across as. But it’s character driven, looks like a billion bucks, has a great star turn by Hugh Jackman in the lead plus some of the most gripping boxing sequences since Balboa squared off against Ivan Drago.

19/ Paranormal Activity 3
The simple premise of having CCTV camera’s pick up the spooky goings on in a suburban family house doesn’t outstay its welcome for the third installment. In fact, with a more knowing script, a mischievous director and a change of setting to the early 1980’s, Paranormal Activity 3 is even more suspenseful than the fantastic second film.

18/ Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Pt 2
David Yates might be a classy, mature film maker but the meandering scripts of the last two Potter films didn’t allow him to show off his best work. Fortunately Deathly Hallows Part 2 is pretty much all climactic gravy to the saga. Beautifully staged, often powerful and (as with all Yate’s efforts) elegant, it’s a very fine capper to a hit and miss franchise.

17/ 127 Hours
Not many directors could have pulled off a drama where most of the action takes place down a crevasse where its protagonist’s hand is pinned under a boulder, but Danny Boyle does. Not the dour, miserable experience we were expecting but a vibrant, experimental, uplifting celebration of living.

16/ Hugo
A Children’s story that’s far too good for children. Scorsese turns his attention to a different genre an typically masters it, and then som. A lively and moving tale of the interconnectedness of all things (and people) while celebrating the art of cinema from it’s days of conception to the present day of digital projection, CGI and 3D.

15/ True Grit
A much darker and gritty take of the story that won John Wayne an Oscar. Jeff Bridges makes for a gruffer, but equally brilliant, Rooster Cogburn but it’s young Hailee Steinfeld that steals the film as the story’s true lead character. Impeccably shot and scored, this is now my favourite Coen Brothers movie.

14/ The Human Centipede 2 – Full Sequence
Last years original started many with it’s gross central concept, but this years sequel trumps that tenfold with a rawer, nastier, more primal take on the premise. It’s more intelligent too with a post modern look at the effect the original might have on a ‘troubled’ individual. Centipede 2 pushes the boundaries of horror into uncomfortable places…but that’s what horror’s supposed to do. Never has the phrase “Never go ass to mouth” been more appropriate.

13/ Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol
Brad Bird gives the Mission Impossible franchise (and Tom Cruise’s career) a much needed kick in the rectum with this globe hopping, ultra entertaining spy adventure. It may not be the best in the series, but by golly is it the most fun, with witty banter, stunning non-CGI stuntwork and a cast firing on all cylinders. It’s also has the best, most suspense fill set pieces of the year that put most other action flicks to shame.

12/ Super
Super takes the premise of Kick Ass one step further and places an everyman in the position where he becomes a real life superhero/vigilante. To make things interesting, he gives the hero psychologically ‘troubled’ and gives him a diminutive psychopath sidekick. Raw, quirky and told with an abundance of director James Gunn’s signature black humour.

11/ Thor / Captain America – The First Avenger
I still can’t decide which Marvel Studios superhero movie is better Thor or Captain America so I‘m going to cheat and include them here as one film. One is an intergalactic Shakespearean family drama the other a World War II man on a mission movie. Both are action packed, respectful of the source material, bags of fun with two great leading men in the title roles. Equally enjoyable but for different reasons.



10/ Drive
Take the classic western structure , dress it up with some 80’s neon, synth score and retro fashions and dump it squarely in the crime genre and you’ve got Drive, a sleek, stripped down thriller. It’s a bold mixture that might never have worked in lesser hands but director Nicolas Winding Refn nails the tone immediately. The cast are supurb too with Ryan Gosling owning the screen as ‘the man with no name’.

9/ The Adjustment Bureau
It’s been a great year for high concept, intelligent science fiction. One of the best is this Matt Damon starrer as he battle the forces of destiny to be with his one true love. Sound corny? Bollocks to that. Emily Blunt has her star wattage set to overload, it’s brisk, thought provoking, haunting, amusing, exhilarating and original.

8/ Attack The Block
The poster says it all; Inner City vs. Outer Space. Attack The Block lovingly references the golden age of b-movie, alien invasion flicks while fusing it with an urban hipness. The characters are well defined, the monsters iconic, the jokes all character based and well timed and the action super slick.

7/ Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy
An tense, elegant, old fashioned spy thriller that’s as densely plotted as a collapsed dwarf star and faster paced than a speeding comet because of it. Gary Oldman turns in a beautifully lowkey and nuanced performance as the ‘spy’ of the title but each and every member of the supporting cast deserve an Oscar as much as he does. Exquisitely mature work.

6/ The King's Speech
If Real Steel is Rock with robots then The King’s Speech is Rocky with public speaking. Telling an absorbing true story with an abundance of wit, an economic directing style and two leads with nuclear chemistry it’s a small drama with high stakes drama that made its Best Picture win at the Oscars more than deserved.

5/ Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes
Coming from studio 20th Century Fox and following their disastrous 2001 reboot of the Apes franchise ‘Rise’ simply shouldn’t have worked. But what you get is an exciting, intelligently directed science fiction thriller with cutting edge effects and a brilliant central performance (Andy Serkis doing mo-cap, not James Franco).

4/ Tangled
Despite it’s trubled production history and astronomic budget Disney re-enter the animated fairy tale arena with this gorgeous reworking of Rapunzel. The songs are pretty good and it looks great but it’s the witty banter, stunning comic timing and brilliant comic performances from it’s animated stars that make this the funniest film of 2011.

3/ Super 8


A thrilling and moving monster movie that trades off the Amblin films of the 1980’s as well as 50’s science fiction B-movies. Pleasingly character centric with fantastic performances from it’s child actors, particularly Ellie Fanning who proves she’s just as much as an acting freak as her sister, Dakota. Not quite perfect, but it’s emotional power over-rides is defects.

2/ X-Men First Class


Bryan Singer’s movie X-Men univers gets a 1960’s reboot coutesy of Matthew Vaughan who delivers the most exciting and the most fun franchise entry to date.
It’s a retro-Bond adventure crosses with a modern superhero sensibility with a fantastic ensemble cast that’s dominated by the ultra cool Michal Fassbender.

1/ Sucker Punch


Hated by the critics and largely ignored by audiences, this may be a controversial number one for anybody who’s not me, but sod it. It’s The Shawshank Redemption for the X-Box generation with director Zack Snyder making the case for the power of imagination over hopelessness using pop culture references from comics, musicals, manga, computer games, pop music, cinema, theatre, music videos, etc. By far the most inventive and visually rich piece of cinema this year backed by an outstanding soundtrack of reworked pop classics. An exhilarating assault on the eyes with a powerful emotional sucker punch to back it up. Love it.


Bubbling Under
Source Code, Hobo with A Shotgun, Cell 211, Rare Exports, The Woman, The Ides Of March. The Guard, Moneyball, 50/50

Worst Movies Of 2011



10/ The first 90 minutes of Transformers 3
The last 50 minutes don’t count as it’s far too visually stunning and action packed, but the first two thirds of this film are perhaps the most bored I’ve been in a movie theatre this year. Oh, and replacing Megan Fox with Rosie Huntingdon Whitley might make sense if wanking were publicly allowed in cinemas…but since it’s not her participation in this is truly embarrassing.

9/ Pirates Of The Caribbean– On Stranger Tides
If this turd cost $250 million I’d like to know where the money was spent ‘cause it ain’t up on the screen. After a promising start the small scale adventure spends most of it’s time lurking around in tiny sets and gloomy, night time jungle locations. Johnny’s antic get tired fast and there’s barely a scene that sticks in the memory.0

8/ Bad Teacher
If 2011 had a trend to remember it’s that of the return of the smutty R-Rated comedy.
Unfortunately, most of them weren’t funny at all. Like Bad Teacher which had a shit your pants funny trailer that completely misrepresented the film itself. Very, very unfunny…ever the trailer gags failed to work in context.

7/ I Am Number Four
Twilight with aliens was what this big budget chase movie was all about. However the male lead, Alex Pettyfer, was loathsome and the film uneventful and totally forgettable. Even a late turn by the cute, sarcastic and kick ass Teresa Palmer couldn’t shake the feeling that it was irredeemably shite.

6/ F
This low budget British horror/thriller was touted as a siege movie like that of John Carpenter’s Assault On Precinct 13. But it wasn’t. What it ended up being was painfully slow, poorly directed, suspense-less exercise in irritating your core audience. Me. And they killed off the British Soap Awards Sexiest Female Awards Winner (3 years running) when Roxanne McKee gets it. I mean, who does that? Really?

5/ Shark Night 3D
A dumb, glossy, Hollywood horror film that’s diluted by a bloodless PG-13 cut, a terrible cast playing very, very, very stupid people where nothing interesting happens anytime ever. No amount of cute girls in bikinis could hide the fact this is supposed to be a crazy exploitation flick that has no exploitation in it whatsoever.

4/ Due Date
Once the master of R-Rated comedies (Old School / Road Trip), now director Todd Phillips is the man we’ve grown to fear. Proving that School For Scoundrels was no fluke, Phillips shits out another laugh free comedy featuring a struggling Robert Downey Jnr and the mirthless disaster zone that is Zack Galifinakis. Stop them. Stop them now! *Too late.

3/ My Soul To Take
Wes Craven must stop making horror films where a bunch of characterless teenagers are picked off one by one by a masked killer or a death obsessed supernatural force. Especially if the cast are non entities, there’s no tension in the story or set pieces and if the whole thing makes no freaking sense. At all. Oh wait, that applies to an awful lot of Wes’ work…but never more so than this.

2/ Gulliver’s Travels
Twentieth Century Fox might have had a few critical hits this year but that didn’t stop them remaining true to form with this dire family adventure. It’s movie making by committee as Gulliver Travels moves so quickly through it’s story in order to tick all those boxes that the audience is left way behind, not giving a shit, a piss or any other kind of bodily sewage.

1/ The Hangover Part II



*Todd Phillips strikes again with a film so over-hyped and so unfunny that Middle Eastern countries may descent into several millennia of warfare just to get the fucker out of its system. There’s nothing in the story that’s of interest as it rework the originals same, boring quest. The cast are even more talent less than before, and adding 2001’s Fuckwit Of The Year, actor Ken Jeong just makes things more terrible.
Nothing at all is funny, not even the smutty lady boys sequence which should be a riot. When classics Like Zoolander and Anchorman are denied sequels due to lack of funds, it’s made even more frustrating when a studio can chuck a shit load of cash at this painful rectal scab. Just fucking awful.

Close, But not quite:- Hop, Yogi Bear, The Smurfs, Insidious, The Amityville Haunting, In The Name Of The King 2.

Top Albums Of 2011



10/ Social Distortion - Hard Times & Nursery Rhymes
9/ Megadeth - Thirteen
8/ Everlast - Songs Of The Ungrateful Living
7/ Royal Republic - We Are The Royal
6/ The Nightwatchman - World Wide Rebel Songs
5/ Trivium - In Waves
4/ Sucker Punch - VA
3/ Terrorvision - Super Deluxe



2/ Anthrax - Worship Music



1/ Foo Fighters - Wasted Light



Bubbling Under - Beady Eye, Noel Gallagher, Mastodon, Theory Of A Deadman.

Top TV Of 2011



Another year. Another twelve moths of watching the box. As usual this list represents the shows that I've been most glued to this year, for better or for worse. Most of them are science fiction or fantasy related shows (hey, I'm a geek) but there's some straight comedy and political satire throw in for good measure too. Of course, there's plenty of good shows on the air that I haven't had the time to watch that might have made the list if I had...but there's always 2012.

As for my top show, I think it's had the most crazy, original season that it's ever likely to get in it's very long history and that's something to be be savoured and applauded. However, with the excellence that my number two show has demonstrated, and the promise of quality escalation next year and beyond, I think it's time to be recognised is very near indeed.

20/ Homeland
19/ Beavis & Butt-head
18/ Terra Nova
17/ The Daily Show
16/ Real Time With Bill Maher
15/ Primeval
14/ New Girl
13/ Robot Chicken
12/ Sherlock
11/ 30 Rock



10/ Castle
9/ Family Guy
8/ Spartacus Gods Of The Arena
7/ Death Valley
6/ Black Mirror
5/ The Walking Dead
4/ Being Human
3/ Fringe
2/ Game Of Thrones
1/ Doctor Who

Bubbling under:- Top Gear, Once Upon A Time, Life's Too Short, Torchwood.

Friday, 30 December 2011

Pet Private Dick Is Still Alrighty Then



Ah, Ace Venture Pet Detective is the film that started Jim Carrey's movie career. And while some of it has dated quite badly (the fashions, the soundtrack, Courtney Cox's face) it is a very fine example of what Hollywood can do if it fully embraces its juvenile side.

Carrey is perhaps the best he's ever been with a character based on that of a bird (strutting, preening, eating seeds, bright and exotic plumage) with catchphrases (loser, like a glove, alrighty then, take care now...bye bye then) that amuse to this day. The plot's appropriately bonkers, there's some terrific set pieces for Carrey to go wild (gotta love his Captain Kirk impression) the cast are game whether it's pre-Friends Courtney Cox, Tone Loc, Dan Marino or Sean Young.

Bloody damn funny this is still a wacky gem to be treasured. With Hollywood's obsession for reality based, Judd Apatow style comedies, why can't we have more bizarre stuff like this? After all, Anchorman and Zoolander all have massive followings although the less said about MacGruber the better.

Mr Poppers Pot Of Pickled Penguins



Thank you Jesus. Thank you Allah. Thank you Buddha. And thank you any other supernatural deity for the gift that is Mr Poppers Penguins. I thank thee not that it is good for it is just as average a film one would expect from the grubby mauls of the Twentieth Century Fox marketing department, but I thank thee for the animals talk not!

That's right, the penguins that Mr Popper (Jim Carrey) looks after in his lavish Manhattan apartment do not talk. Ever. Yep, there's the odd bit of CGI to give each of his six pets distinct personalities (one bites, another shouts, another farts, etc) but not one of those feather cussers utters a single word throughout the film. And that is something to be celebrated. That means the screen writers can focus on the human characters and produce something much more relateable than those sodding chipmunks.

Unfortunately, that opportunity is never exploited. While it has the same old plot of asshole, career obsessed father reconnecting emotionally with his divorced wife (the lovely Carla Guigino) and two kids the character arc the screenplay places Carrey on is not that resonant. Popper is not that big a dick to begin with and the obstacles placed in his way to achieve new found happiness are not that terrible, meaning the emotional journey we're asked to embark on is not that riveting. In someways you could argue that by having emotional restraint it's not pandering to the lowest common denominator family crowd, and that's admirable, but it sure makes for one dull story.

But the film isn't irritating, Carrey is playful which is always a good thing in his films and Brit Ophelia Lovibond is a scene stealer with her obsessive prim pronunciation of the letter P. Probably the best animals movie for kids in 2011 but I'd still rather take 'em to see Thor!

50% Chance Of Survival. 100% Chance Of Loving This Movie.



Hell knows what possessed me to put 50/50 on the box. Maybe it was the unrelenting misery of Warrior that made me switch to a cancer themed comedy. Or maybe it was the desire to squeeze in just one more 'worthy' film before 2011 came skidding to a halt. Either way I'm really glad I dis as it's one of the most down to earth, unshowy, naturalistic film I've seen this year.

Based on the real life experiences of co-writer, co-star Seth Rogan it features Joseph Gorden-Levitt as an average 27 year old who get diagnosed with a rare form of spinal cancer. The title refers to his chances of survival. What could have been a bleak and depressing examination of trying to beat the big C is actually a touching, honest and frequently amusing drama. It's the expected mix of over protective parents, cheating girlfriends, inappropriate behave mates, dying fellow patients, emotionally detached doctors and medical students who have gotten in over their heads...but it's dealt with in a unmanipulative, relatable way that keeps you hooked from start to finish.

Gordon-Levitt is fast becoming one of the go-to guys of his generation and his sympathetic and often very reserved performance anchors the movie in reality. Anna Kendrick brings a geeky awkwardness, Bryce Dallas Howard makes her character sympathetic despite her choices,m Angelica Houston baits the awards folk and Seth Rogan brings the laughs as the best friend we all wish we could be if the situation arose.

A beautifully judged directing effort from Mandy Lane's Jonathan Levine, 50/50 is a warm, touching dramedy that's far more watchable than you'd ever expect.