The modern slasher film checklist:-
1/ Your masked killer must have an iconic costume (see Michael Myers, Freddy Kruger, Ghostface, Jason Voorhees) like mining overalls, helmet and gas mask. A weapon of choice is needed too...like a pick-axe.
2/ Cast your movie leads with impossibly good looking twenty somethings that will be called upon to play school-age teenagers.
3/ Cast the remainder of your movie with familiar character actors. If possible hire ancient horror icons like Tom Atkins (Halloween 3, The Fog).
4/ Your movie must be set in small town America. The older townsfolk are curmodgenly redneck inbreds while the majority of youth are dumb, barbies or arrogant jocks (apart from your heroes).
6/ The sheriff of the small town MUST participate. Try and make him the father of your heroine. If not marry him to your heroine.
5/ The death scenes must appear regularly and be gory (if you can obtain that elusive R rating. Shooting in 3D will help lure unsuspecting moviegoers into watching the film in the theatre and make your movie appear better than it actually is.
6/ The masked killer must be linked to a tragedy in the towns past...as must the hero or heroine.
7/ A shock revelation must form part of the climax.
8/ A scene showing the masked killer has survived must be tacked on to the final moments of the film.
I'm sure there are many other rules but I can't be arsed to sit here and think them up. Patrick Lussier's My Bloody Valentine follows all these to the letter, with no added wit, intelligence, style, originality, inventiveness or creativity thrown into the mix. God help us, this is the man charged with delivering Halloween 3D.
Stalk n slash by the book. Please feel free to add a few more....
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