The next generation in horror, they said. From the 'greatest' name in horror, they said. Romero is that name. But...and it's a big but...Staunton Hill is directed by one Cameron Romero, talentless offspring of Zombie legend George A Romero.
Staunton Hill is awful. Really bad. Cheap. Wooden acting. An unoriginal idea told by an uninspired hack. Shitty, boring dialoge, leaden pacing and laughable logic. One minute the abandonded truck that will lead our heroes to safety is immobile due to no starter motor...the next it's pissing, full pelt, after the only surviving hippie.
The happless teens get bested by a retard, a fat woman and a grannie in a wheelchair. With survival skills like that, the dumb gits deserve to be massacred.
There's only two respectful things I can say about this turkey. The narrative is comprehensible (hey, I'm scraping the barrel here) and the gory effects, when they do arrive, are realistic and unsettling.
It's obvious that the Romero name suffers from 'Jason Connery Syndrome' too. Just like the mighty Bond actor Sean, who had a talentless offspring in the same industry, so must George A suffer the embarressment of an over-eager spawn with no off-switch. Pity Romero Snr. Pity him now.
1 comment:
Yep. This was pure and utter shit.
It was the most boring horror film I've seen in...I can't quite recall. Nothing remotely interesting happened for ages and ages. Then we got some gore. Which was nice. Then it got even stupider. And some really lame stuff happened. But it was stil soooo boring. Most Uwe Boll films (but not Postal. Never Postal) or even - god help me - Asylum films are more watchable. Give me Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus any day of the week over this shite.
George A should seriously think about disinheriting the boy. Ungh!
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