While I'd seen the original 1982 Conan movie many, many years ago I'd never got round to checking out the 1984 sequel Conan The Destroyer until now...mainly because I perceived it as shit. But watching the opening credits unfold before me my hopes were lifted. Instead of the ultra cheap cash in I expected a glossy title sequence appeared before an epic landscape. The names in the credits are impressive too; director Richard (20,000 Leagues Under The Sea) Fleisher, editor Frank (Total Recall) Urioste, set designer John (Waterworld) Bloomfield, cinematographer Jack (Rambo II) Cardiff and producer Dino (Dune) De Laurentiis.
Despite my high hopes, my predictions were correct. Conan The Destroyer IS shit. Any realism, style or sense of wonder the original film had is replaced by a dumb, silly tongue in cheek tone that gives it that pungent direct to DVD feel. It looks a million dollars in some scenes, and cheap as chips (like a Golan Globus Production) in others. The effects are mainly terrible, the acting stilted (thank God Grace Jones doesn't have much to do), it's appallingly written, terribly paced (rescue the princess from, not one, but two fortresses), the action slow and awkward and the demon monster at the finale crude and laughable.
Still, Arnie might not be a good actor, but at least he shows off the charisma and screen presence that would later define him as the biggest movie star in the world.
1 comment:
If ever there was a film that I wish I left as a good memory of watching in my youth, then this is it.
I watched it again a few years ago and it really is shit.
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